I'm getting responses split even, and we just don't know what to do. We have chosen a name that we love and just haven't found anything we love as much for our little girl coming in May. The only issue is that her initials would be FAG. I'm not concerned about monogramming, but I just don't want her to be teased. I've also taught 8-12 graders for the past 6 years, and never have I heard anyone say anything about someone's initials. Most of the time they don't even know the middle names of other students. There is no alternative spelling to the names we've chosen, either.
My question is, do you pay attention to that when determining your child's name? The name we have has a story and meaning behind it, and I hate to just pick a completely different middle name just because of the initials she'll have until she gets married. At the same time, I don't want her to be teased. I was teased for my middle name in 8th grade by one person, but it wasn't really an issue again. AAAGGGHHH decisions decisions
I wanted to add that we are for certain choosing one of our two choices FAG (the absolute favorite of all 3 of us including my son) or FEG (which is one my husband picked that is okay with me but I'm not just in love with it. . .my 3 year old says no because he loves the first choice LOL)
Thanks to all you wonderful women for your input. I actually took the name around to people at church and even many teenagers. They loved the name, and they didn't even notice what the initials would spell -- even after I said we weren't sure about the initials. That was with 100% of the people. The way I asked here was by just writing the initials out, which immediately brought it to attention and gave a split outcome.
The name is very very special and meaningful. The "F" is a certain, so even with the second choice it would be FEG. Can't really get away from it. We are completely against putting the first name in the middle. The first name we've chosen is so important with a very meaningful story behind it, so we want to keep it first. After speaking to more and more people, I've noticed it's those around my generation and up that are concerned with initials. The younger kids don't even realize what their classmates middle names even are much less take time to put them together-- which is what I noticed in teaching. I think we're going to name her the more meaningful name -- something she can be proud of. We're still discussing, but we're much less stressed about it now. We weren't worried about anything other than family making a big deal because they made a huge deal of my nephew's initials spelling TAS saying people would make fun of him calling him Taz. LOL So dumb, but we knew they would say something about this. We realized that a name is too important to look at what a couple of people may say. My son's name was also hated by family, and they tried their hardest to change it, but it's much too meaningful. He knows the story behind his name and loves it. He feels special because of the story behind it, and everyone in the family has come to see that it fits him perfectly.
Thank you again so much. You all gave me great feedback, and I am so appreciative!
What if you flip first and middle names? I think FAG is less an issue for a Girl than it would be for a boy - and anything you monogrammed could be done with a big G in the middle of a smaller F and A - so do what you think best.
I don't know that initials are that big of a deal now adays. I had the initials T.T. (first and last name) when I was a kid and a lot of people teased me, but I live in a small town and people around here have nothing better to do with their time then bother other people. The strange thing about my initials, they did not change when I got married, because my husbands last name starts with a T also.
Nope, i wouldnt do it. There is no telling the horrors that she could encounter.
What about changing the first name to be spelled with a ph instead?
The first thing I did when considering my children's names was think about the initials. I had read in a baby book that you should always consider that when naming a child. That said, kids will always find something to tease others for.
My daughter's last name, different than mine, used to get made fun of all the time. She has asked in the past to change it to mine because she is so sensitive about it. At first, I regretted not hyphenating her last name as a combination of mine and her father's thinking that would have made it better for her, but we tried to deal with it the best way we knew how by just reassuring her that there are wonderful successful people with her last name and gave her ideas on how to deliver a good "come back" if someone does make fun of her. She took our advice and it seems that her classmates have gotten over it as well. She hasn't mentioned any teasing about her name in a very long time. Now the catty "frou-frou" girls are teasing her about her clothes because she's a bit of a tomboy.
Point is, if you keep the name, expect that at some point, she will be teased, but it's not the end of the world. If it isn't her initials, it'll be something else. Kids can be mean. :-(
Congratulations on your new little bundle of joy to be!
Personally, I wouldn't change it. My sister's initials before she got married were LAG and no one ever teased her for it. My mom's initials are BAG, and my niece's are HAM. I've never heard any of them complain of being teased.
If it were me, I would change one of the names, or find a different way of spelling one but still pronounce it the same. Kids can be very cruel. That's my personal thought, and my husband just agreed when I asked him about it. It's not that it spells something out, just that specific combination. It has such negative conotation, and she will most likely be made fun of for it.
Apparently the initials really do matter and actually can have long term negative health impacts due to stress. Yes, kids will tease, but if a child gets teased in just about every situation to which they are exposed, that can have negative impacts on self esteem.
I just read an article on this topic and you can find others correlating initials with success (or not) - it's amazing how something so simple impacts human behaviors and our lives so much. I personally have noticed that having a last name with a B actually speeds many processes up versus having a name ending in H, where I was never first for anything. For example, my name is now on top of some lists, so it is overall more visible versus being buried in the middle. Also, there's apparently even an association between initials and grades - i.e., folks with "A" tend to get more A's, etc. and one article noted that folks who are earlier in the alphabet get more time when their Phd thesis is reviewed.
So, I personally would stay away from the FAG and actually I can't think of a good letter that goes with the AG portion - ie., LAG, SAG, NAG, BAG, WAG, ZAG don't sound great either, although might be best. And, the FxG also seems very difficult - L might be okay - "Flag" or I - "Fig". I would personally pick something like AKG ("A kind girl") or BLG ("Blog") or TSG or ASG ("The/A Super/Smart Girl")
I wanted to name my middle son Aaron Scott Snyder and guess what? His intials would have been...ASS. So we did take that into consideration and my hubby said absolutely not, so we named him Aaron Thomas instead. Thomas after his Grandfather. We also have an EMS, and an AMS in additon to the ATS. So good luck, I personally would not have the intials read anything derogatory or that kids could tease them with. As a nurse I use my intials to sign things off in the legal charts of patients. So if she were to keep her maiden name for a length of time you may want to consider that the intials would not look to good in a professional environment. And she may not change her last name when she got married. I kept my maiden name for the first 10 years of our marriage and am now hyphenated, but use my married name. She may have some personal or professional reasons to keep her maiden name and therefore the intials longer than you think. So I would not give her a name that the initials read FAG. But that is my opinion. And someone will end up knowing her middle name and leaking it in school, trust me on that one.
Good luck,
L.
I wouldn't do it. Anything that a kid can be teased for should be avoided if possible! Even in my job now we have to sign off on things with initials - and even the "grown ups" would probably make fun of it!
I was born with the initials SLR. after marriage, I became SLLR. No one except my brothers have ever noticed my initials, that I remember. Sllllr on! LOL
Personally, I wouldn't worry about it. If it's not her initials more than likely it will be something else to make fun of. Kids are cruel. My son's name is Tucker and I'm sure kids will end up calling him the F word someday. LOL!
I say go with the name you love. Monogramming won't really matter, since the "G" will be in the middle on monograms. The fact that her initials are FAG won't be that noticeable on them. My initials were never used in a school setting until college when we had to set up our email accounts using our initials and last 4 digits of SS#. Good luck to you!
I would consider changing it, but I worked at a job where you had to electronically sign all your notes with your initials. (as part of someones perm. medical record). I agree that if kids found out, it would be unfortunate and may be hard to explain to her why she shouldn't mention it to other kids. Sad but true. Lets face it, little kids are just plain mean...coming from someone who's maiden name was Hill who also had the misfortune of getting her boobies early, there were a lot of huge cry fests at my house! Ultimately, if you love it...figure out a plan to make it work! Best wishes with your new baby girl!!!
I did consider initials when naming my children. I agree that kids will find something to tease a child about no matter what, but why make it easy for them? Could you change the spelling of the first or middle name so that it begins with a different letter? What about adding another name to the two you've chosen, so another letter would be included in the initials? If you are questioning it, then something tells me you aren't comfortable with it. My mom always said, "If in doubt, don't." Congratulations to you and your family!!!
I would change it. Yes, kids will always find something to tease someone about, but why make it so easy for them? Your daughter would never be able to have anything monogrammed, and that might disappoint her. You've got time keep thinking! Good luck in your decision.
Everyone gets teased about something. My step son is Nicolass, russian spelling, and while it took a while, ge got teased that the end of his name is a curse word. If it is special to you, then use it. When she gets teased, she can come back with the beautiful story of her name and that will shut them up. We went back and forth on the order placement my 3 year olds name and when we realized his initials are MAN, we loved it even more!
Hi M.,
I would not do that. I recommend changing the name.
R.
There is a study sited in one of my baby name books that says people who have negative initials live an average of 2-3 years less than their neutral counterparts. Don't know how valid the study was, but I thought I would throw that out there.
I wouldn't worry about it since the joke would need to include the middle initial... I would be more concerned about the first and last name being BS or FU or something like that :-)
I can't think of anytime when my middle initial was used in school... I guess the first time all 3 letters were used was for a login at work, they would love that! We are all silly :-)
I wouldn't let the letters FAG change your mind about a name!
E.
I wouldn't worry about it. Without my middle initial, I grew up VD. I don't ever remember getting made fun of as a kid. It was brought up when I was in high school but the most I got was, "Do you know what that means!!!" I also went to school with a BM and an STD and My nephew is BFD. And I don't remeber any of them getting made fun of, either. With the age of text messaging and computer shorthand, who knows what any of our initials are going to mean in the future.
I would change it. I know all kids get made fun of, but that is just giving them one more thing to poke fun at. Kids can be cruel. One reason you may never hear kids make fun of initials is because most kids initials don't spell anything.
My sisters initials were A S S before she got married and she was endlessly teased through school.
Perhaps you can add another name in there to swap with the A during times she would need to use initials? For example: Faith Amanda Colt Garrison. Then she would use FCG if ever she needed to use initials but technically, she'd still be Faith Amanda, if that makes any sense. Just an idea. :-)
I would really stay away from giving her those initials. I agree initials are not a huge deal (when they don't spell anything), but when they do spell something like that, it could be a major issue for your daughter. You really should use your second favorite choice. Think how badly you will feel it did turn out she was teased alot because of it.
