Just Curious-- Did You Change Your Name Post Divorce?

I changed my name back to my maiden name. My daughter was 2 when we divorced.....she's almost 9 now. It has never been an issue that we have 2 different last names. No one has ever questioned me.

I did not because I had two children and wanted to keep the same name; not really for me but for them.

I did--but I didn't have children at the time, so it seemed ridiculous to keep it. If I had kid(s), I probably would have kept it though.

Then I went and changed it AGAIN when I got re-married! LOL Seems to be sticking this time...

..heck, I never changed it to HIS to begin with...I always (and proudly) kept mine.

Hi E.-

I so wanted to change back to my maiden name...But 'our' eldest son has my maiden name as his first name...he was a minor at time of separation/divorce, so it seemed weird...

Now he is 22...so maybe.

I have been sub teaching this last year, and hoping to get picked up as full time. I have to say it annoys me to be called 'Ms. ____' even now. May be worth the change (or maybe this coming year, will just have kids call me 'Ms Maiden Name'!! I will ask through the school in fall)

Best Luck!
Michele/cat

I'm with you. I spent 2 years having a different last name as my son, and I'm never willingly doing that again. I like my maiden name a lot better than my married name, but the lynchpin is that it's my son's last name.

I have thought about this too. Im not divorced thank God, but I would keep my kids last name.

When I divorced I kept his name because its not only the same as the kids, but its also my business name so I would have had to change all my licenses, business filings, etc. So I didn't want to deal with that. I have been remarried for almost 2 years and I still haven't legally changed my name although I am going to hyphen it. That way my clients will still know my name, and the bank said if get checks in either name they will accept it. I swear, aren't parents a pain in the butt even at our ages??? I mean what do they care and why is it even their business????!!!! My own mom knows that I haven't changed my name yet and she told me she put me as her beneficiary on something under my husbands last name. I said HELLO!!!! That is not my LEGAL last name!!!! There is NO SUCH PERSON!!! So I totally get it. But I think you are doing the right thing. Good luck!

Not me, but a couple of friends kept their married names in order to keep the same name as their children. A couple of them just use a double surname using both their maiden name and married name, without hyphenating, for business reasons and so that they can be found socially. One or two that have remarried just shifted their former married name into the "middle" position but essentially did the same thing.

I do have a couple of friends who use their former married name for school reasons, but for everything else they went back to their maiden name.

I didn't have children yet when I got divorced. So I changed my name THAT DAY that the judge signed the divorce papers. :) I went back to my maiden name of course.

I think if I had kids at that time, it would depend on me and my ex and our situation. My cousin's husband left completely, so she changed not only HER last name back to her maiden name, but also changed her KIDS' names too. She even changed one of her kid's FIRST and LAST names.

Your question is a tricky one and I don't think there's one right or wrong answer b/c each situation is different. You are right in the fact that leaving your name the way it is to match your child makes things simpler later in life. But true also that you will likely take your new husbands name one day and then you and your child will have different last names.

I changed it. My exes family is fairly well known and they own funeral homes. When I looked at how many times people saw the name and asked me questions about the business (people are curious about funeral homes) I just didn't want to go through that. It was kinda funny because my ex could not fathem why I wouldn't want to keep his last name (he is a bit of a narcissist) so as the final papers went back and forth he kept having his attorney take off the name change bit. He didn't realize he signed the final papers without checking it and flipped a nut when he found out I went back.

My younger kids friends call me Mrs. exes name but that doesn't bother me. There is no reason to correct them and make them uncomfortable. My older kids friends finally accepted calling me J..

I am not divorced but I would keep my baby's last name. If I got remarried then I could change it all then. Who cares what your parents say, its not their name.

I kept my married name for two reasons. One, so I'd have the same name as my children & they'd never have to say, "Well, my mom's name is..." and two because it is a great, great name.

This is exactly why I did NOT change my birth name and my children have MY birth name, not my husband's.

I just finished my divorce trial and I chose not to change my name because I too felt I wanted that connection with my children. I don't have any issues with people that do change it back because I think it has to work for the person (the woman) having to decide what it means to her personally.

I also decided that I would cross that "remarriage" bridge if or when it happened. I don't know if I would keep my previous married, take the new married, hyphenate or whatever. I think it will depend upon me, how I feel about it then, how old my kids are then, and how my new mythical non-existant husband would feel about all of those options.

I think waiting until you need to decide is an option that is just fine.

On a side note, I actually did a legal name change before I ever got married along with my brother to slightly alter the spelling of my maiden name simply because it was not a name (as it was spelled then) that either of us wanted to keep over our lifetime. It was simple and easy to change it. It was more paperwork to change everything else.

D.

I did change my last name back. then when i got remarried hyphenated which is a pain also but i got really cool initials. :)

I changed back to my maiden name ASAP! lol I did not want any reminder of my ex. I have since remarried and love my new name! ;)

I kept my name the same when I divorced my oldest son's dad. Kids can be so cruel and I didn't want it to be obvious that he only had one parent by having a different last name. It also makes it much easier when other people involved with your children meet you. They always assume that you have the same last name. If it is the same you don't have to explain that your name is different and possibly why. And, I agree, just a pain in the rear to have to change all of the legal places that a name is used.

No I did not. I wanted to keep my daughters last name for continuity. I used to joke that I earned that name. A happy consequence was that it drove his new wife absolutely craaaaazy. She ended up NOT taking it because I had it! How dumb. Needless to say, that marriage didnt work either.

I wish I had gone back to my maiden name! I was childless when I divorced, but had my son on my own almost 10 years later-- I gave my son my maiden name, and someday I'll get mine changed back to my maiden name

I didn't mainly because at the time my then SIL and FIL wanted me to. I went on to have a child (as a single parent) with his last name. When she was 11 we were remarried. Seven years later divorced again. At that time I might have but it was too big of hassle to change everything to another name so left it. It doesn't matter to me and is actually easier to spell. Since I don't plan on getting married again I'm not concerned about changing it. My daughter on the other hand wants hers changed to my maidian name and I have no problem with that if she wants. It did make life easier for her when we moved to a small town that my first cousin and his family with my maidian named lived. He was a teacher and his wife grew up in this town. They thought they were better then us so never claimed us as relatives gioing so far as to tell their childern that they were not related to mine (the kids grandfathers where brothers). Now that the kids are adults they do keep in touch but life would have been even harder on my daughter in school then it was had our last name been the same as theirs.

I have the same thoughts and ideas as you so I kept mine the same. I don't care who likes it and who doesn't because I am the one who matters.

I did exactly the same thing as you. I am now remarried and have a different last name from my son (my oldest) but the same as my daughter (my youngest). I still get called by my son's last name by some of his friends (some don't realize that my hubby is his step-father especially since he wasn't active in his day to day life).

A part of me wanted to go back to my maiden name and had it not been for my son, I probably would have. The mother in me took priority over wanting me to "erase" my married life.

The only time I regretted keeping my first married name was when people associated me with my ex's family (some, not all) that I would rather have not been associated with but I easily said "we're not related" or "they are related to my son's father".

I had 3 sisters get divorced and 3 different situations. The first one kept her married name because of her children and doesn't regret it. The second one changed her name back and she said it was out of anger, but she wouldn't of done it if she had kids. The third had kids and changed her name out of anger as well. The best thing she did was not get mad when everyone referred to her by her married name, especially her kids friends. I was the reverse. I didn't want to take my husband's name, but when we discussed having kids, I thought it was important to all have the same name, so I changed my name.

When I changed my name after being married, I made my family name (maiden name) my middle name, and took my husband's last name. When we divorced 17 years later, I did not change my name. I already legally have both names, and I wanted to keep the same last name as my daughter and my two stepkids, and I like this last name better. It is three letters long and easy to spell, where my family name is a little confusing for people to say and spell. I also had been using this name in my career, and didn't want to lose business contacts with a name change.

i did it backwards! I had my license say my married name since getting married but my ss card always said my maiden name...i had drivers license in each name then when we decided to get divorced i changed my last name to his b/c i wanted the last name of my daughter...and i kinda regret it now...when were officially divorced i may change back to maiden...this subject is so silly for M. to worry about but obviously as parents we stress over everything and this is one thing i can control in reagrds to how divorce will affect her so i stress on if it will affect my daughter having a diferent last name

I thought about changing my last name back to my maiden name, but I ended up not doing it.
My maiden name and married name both start with the same letter and aren't all that different.
It just didn't seem worth all the hassle in the long run.
I don't regret just leaving it alone.

I kept my married name until I eventually remarried. Also because I wanted to have the same last name as my daughter. And also because I always hated my maiden name, which was converted into a bad joke coming out of other kids' mouths.

Even with a child - I changed my last name back to my maiden name when my first marriage ended after 9 years...

Now after 14 years? No, I would keep my married name.