Are all kids just completely inept with the telephone? Or just mine? ;)
Specifically the 10 and 8 year olds. It is almost painful to listen to....the phone squished up to the side of their head or held a foot away, so that there is no possible way for anyone to hear them...speaking in mumbled whispers...most of the time the conversation is nonsensical, they have no idea even what to say and come away simply confused and with no plans discussed or made. "Well I couldn't tell what he was saying so I don't know what the plan is".
Venting here, and I know it is a totally lame and minor issue! Just wondering...how do you even TEACH phone skills? I swear, after every phone call, I am like, " you need to speak up!" or " Why didn't you ask them to speak louder if you couldn't understand?" or "remember, who what where when... just like a story, you need to figure out what you are doing, who will be there, where it will be and when..." Is this just one of those things where they finally figure it out after a few years of plans NOT being made because their phone conversation was so unclear?
Oh and thanks for letting me vent about such a silly issue!
Thanks, all! It was really eye opening to hear that everyone else has this problem and that child development specialists say children generally are not ready for making lans via telephone at this age. Knowing this, I will be a lot more patient. I will try prepping them when we make calls, maybe write down what needs to be decided. It is a lot harder with incoming calls of course!
That's most kids, I'm afraid. Maybe part of it is being very visual?
They can't read body language over the phone and if you can hear them well, you can't tell tone. Much of a conversation is visual. Try Skype for a better experience?
We had this very issue the other day.
My 9yr old daughter had a classmate call her just to chat. MY DAUGHTER HAD NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY! Nothing. Complete silence. I scribbled down a question on a scrap piece of paper; "Did you do you homework yet?" ... then, "Do you have any pets?" ... then, "How many brothers and sisters do you have?" Holy moly. It was excruciating.
When Grandma and Poppy Skype I have to prep the kids, too. 'Don't mumble, answer yes and no clearly, it's not Crazy Time, so focus on the conversation ... It's horrible.
You just have to laugh at it, I guess.
ETA: At DanaK: "showing me his eyeballs"!! LOL. That cracked me up.
All kids are basically wild animals until we domesticate them. :-)
Your rant made me smile.
Totally normal! My daughter at age 8 was terrible on the phone, she would make hand gestures or facial expressions instead of speaking and I kept having to remind her that people can't SEE you so you need to use words.
I think with practice and guidance they can become better at it. It's just something they need to do over and over. Try having pretend conversations with your kids over the phone. That will help some!
Oh my gosh this made me laugh. I had one with the same problem. I am happy to report that it DID get better.
I had my kids practice calling places and asking questions. I've also asked them to make reservations.
Neither one of them sits on the phone and chats endlessly (I thought it was just a boy thing).
Well, you've had your vent.
And my granddaughters are getting better on the phone, but for a long while I needed a translation when they were done talking to me. When you have only a voice from which to get all communication, the voice needs to be nice and clear.
On the other end of the line, telephone communication may seem unknowingly and suddenly weird to a child who is talking into this small hand-held device to (allegedly) someone invisible on the other end.
And no, I don't think kids are taught how to do it. But they CAN be. Adults could use some instruction, too. Part of it, of course, is the fact that however we sound to ourselves, we sound different to everyone else.
I'm sure it's not just your kids, because my GD has the same problem! If I tell her to call her mom and ask x, she gets off the phone and has no idea what her mom said!
I've listened to her talking to her friends and you're right, the conversations make no sense. Heck, she's even put the phone down and struck up a conversation with me while her friend is still on the phone!
It seems so easy, but what the heck!
Yes you need to teach them LOL. Practice by having them call you from the home phone on your cell phone. My oldest (15 year old step-daughter) is still paralyzed with fear when needing to do anything by phone. It's pathetic - she'll have one of her younger brothers make phone calls for her. I think part of that was that she lived with her inarticulate recluse of a mother until a couple of years ago and part is that she had a phone when she was 9 so has been texting forever. My 15 year old son is much better, because he didn't have a cell phone until he was 13 so texting wasn't an option and if he wanted to make plans, he needed to do so effectively over the phone. But those first years with him were pretty painful and I ended up taking the phone and talking to the other parent to find out what the plan actually was.
My two youngest (7 & 9) are phone pros. My youngest little guy learned early that if he waited for me to make plans for him, it wasn't going to happen. So no joke when he was in pre-K he used to get out the class list, look up a number, get the phone, dial it, and invite a friend over. People tend to not answer their phones so he's a pro at leaving messages too: "hello this is Zachary and I was wondering if Matt could come over to play today or Friday. Please call be back at ###-###-#### when you get this. Thank you!" He absolutely cracks me up and people love getting his messages. My 9 year old learned from him and does the same thing too.
Good luck with this - if you practice with them, they do get better at it.
My daughter and now my grandchildren didn't use the phone until they were 12 or so. A child therapist told me children aren't developmentally ready for phone conversations until around 12 or so. I make the call to make plans with the other parent. No sense having frustration over expecting our child do what they aren't able to do.
Mine is seven and talking with him on the phone is like pulling teeth. We tried Facetime and seriously - it was worse. He pretty much gave up talking altogether in favor of showing me his eyeballs - really really really close up. Waves the phone around - nowhere near his ear or mouth. Putting him on speaker is no better. If the grandparents didn't live so far away, I would simply take the phone away completely for a few years and then try again.
You're not alone. I am embarrassed by my 10 year old boy and how he is on the phone. Embarrassed and a little jealous because his girl cousins are so much better at it and seem to get more calls from the grandparents. :-(
Here is what I have started doing...**turn off TV's, etc. that can be distractions. **Stopped using speakerphone. I used the think it would help, but I think it makes it worse and I want to jump in. **Prep when appropriate. For example, when we call to wish Grandma a happy birthday, I remind him that if Grandpa answers to say who it is and to ask him how he is doing before just saying, "can I talk with grandma?".
Thanks for making me realize I am not alone. Good luck!
Well my kids are 7 and almost 11, and they are the opposite.
Meaning, the talk LOUD in the phone and enunciate SO clearly... because they think maybe the other person on the phone (usually me or daddy) can't hear, them.
LOL
not old enough then to be trying to make plans themselves w other kids.
mine have been talking to relatives for a long time so at this point they are much better, but yes, prep them first.
