Appropriate Response

L.,
You are wonderful and very thoughtful. Maybe your sister-in-law comes from a different up-bringing. I am not always good about sending "Thank Yous", but I always appreciate everything that I get. I have told my sisters who sent me clothes "thank you" via telephone instead of sending a note. However, my oldest sister always sends notes of "thank yous". Don't be upset that she re-washed them, I would have done the same, they are being shipped across country and just to be on the safe side I'd re-wash. One time I didn't with some clothes my sister sent me and my son broke out. I know she wouldn't have sent dirty clothes.
I have an Aunt, who sent my kids some stuff for Christmas one year, and because I didn't send a Thank you back to her, she didn't send anything to them the next year.
You can't let it bother you, she probably doesn't even know she has offended you. Just remember that your act of kindness goes a long way, you did a great thing, and you truly did help her out. 7 boxes is a lot, and I know shipping isn't cheap. You know her better than any of us, she could be just ready to have this baby and not thinking, now she might be inconsiderate and this isn't the first time, only you know. Don't let her steal you JOY! You really did it for your niece or nephew...

L.,
Sometimes I feel like you and feel under appreciated or annoyed, but then I remind myself I didn't "give" for the thanks anyway. Remind yourself that's not what it is about. Let it go the best you can.

You are not being petty. She absolutely should have called immediately to tell you thank you. She should not have mentioned that she is rewashing the clothes. I agree that after being shipped they probably do need to be rewashed, but really no need to mention that to the person that went through all the trouble.

While she is likely very busy getting ready for the baby, that is no excuse for a lack of manners. It is upsetting to see so many other grown women justifying this behavior. Are the other mom's saying that it ok not to be appreciative if you are busy??? If more people were a little more appreciative of the kindness and generosity of others, maybe people would be a little more giving.

I do think you should not let it bother you, but I kind of don't blame you if you don't send her more things in the future. Everyone likes to be appreciated.

I agree with Melanie, and I think that yes, you are being rather petty. Probably for the reasons you said (tired and just more sensetive). Not everyone is taught about proper etiquette these days. And if she is asking for baby items I would assume she cannot afford much. I myself do my very best to remember to say 'thank you' and maybe do something if I can to show how much I appreciate someone's thoughtfulness. SOme of us are just kinda off in lala land wen it comes to that.. LOL

I am sure she just wasnt thinking about it. You remeber how stressful it was getting everything perfect for the room and that is what she was doing at the time. I am sure when she realizes what all she has and doesnt have to worry about, there will be thank yous headed your way.

I agree that your sister-in-law hasn't acted perfectly, but I also agree with the other posters that this is a time for grace. I'm assuming this is your SIL's first; remember how you felt at that stage. I remember being huge, constantly exhausted, both excited and terrified about the blessing that was coming. I intended to send thank-you notes to everyone who sent stuff, but I know that I didn't; I was behind at work, slow to return phone calls, and some days barely able to get off the couch. This is not your SIL's best self. She needs your love, grace, and generosity now.