Anywho Back to My Kids.. Teaching Advice Please

Don't look at it as "speaking publicly" - you want to have a conversation with them, not speak at them.

I don't know if this is a goofy idea, but my first thought is where do they see respect and do they ever see respect directed at them? Approach them and model the behavior you expect. Perhaps call them by "proper" names. Mr. or Ms. whatever. They need to be the change they want to see, and you have to do that to them and for them.

So often I see parents talking to and treating their kids like they are pets or have no brain or personality or individuality. I don't mean spoiling them and letting them get away with everything. But as I raise my child, I try to think of things from his perspective sometimes. I don't let him have a tantrum when he's upset (he's 5), but I allow him to BE upset because sometimes life is upsetting. As an adult, I would be even more mad if someone told me not to feel what I feel, but I would respect that I would need to be aware of how I ACT on those feelings.

I wish you the best!!

When I was teaching I worked middle school at a place that was mostly Hispanic kids and the majority of our school was on free and reduced lunch...I think it was something like 68% if our kids.

Relationship building is key. You want these kids to know that you genuinely care, they are not a project for you. Respect the kids...even the ones that don't show respect in return. You have to constantly model. Relationship building does not necessarily mean that you are everyone's buddy. You are their teacher, not their friend. Don't lose sight of that, because sometimes that is a hard balance to maintain.

Reach out to the parents. Email them if possible. Call frequently. Don't just call for the bad stuff, call for the good too. Opening the doors of communication will help a lot. You will gain insight. and trust

I would encourage your school, as a whole to try and get parent involvement. Even with the language barriers we had to deal with, our school, over time, was able to get parents coming to school and interested. Granted, they were basically bribed to every event with pizza dinners, but it worked. Math night, reading night, open house, etc.

Own your classroom. You are the boss in there. Don't get bullied and don't show fear. I am a pretty relaxed teacher. We do a lot of group work. I play classical music during seat work. I like manipulatives and hands on where applicable (I taught math). I like kids working together, talking and thinking. But the class does not start there. I start strict. Rows in lines, no talking at inappropriate times, etc. You have to teach these kids what behaviors you expect. Slowly, you can relax the rules and environment in the class. But it needs to start out all business.

Have high standards and expectations. Regardless of what you have heard from others, they can meet these expectations. It just sometimes takes more work. I would also avoid teacher "gossip". You will find more than one teacher that wants to tell you how horrible this kid is or how rude that child behaves...stay away from that talk, you will come out with judgements about kids. Now you DO want to know that Johnny is late every day because he has to drop his sister off at the sitter or Suzy watches her siblings every night while her single mom works the night shift. This sort of information can help you teach these kids, find a system that works.

While teaching we had to read the book "Understanding Poverty". It helped up understand some of the actions of our families and why they make the choices they make. I would recommend that book.

Good luck!

What??

FYI, kids are unruly when teachers/parents don't know how to display authority and don't know how to manage the class. I don't understand how all of a sudden a teacher can lose authority, if he/she ever had it, just because the school changed from public to charter.

The teachers are bitching and quitting for the wrong reason. If they can't handle the kids, then they shouldn't be teachers, so quitting was probably the appropriate action.

If you haven't learned how to control kids, then I have no advice for you. If you know how to do it at home, then transfer that knowledge to the classroom. Have you ever watched The Dog Whisperer show? Notice how Cesar commands the dogs -- he is the alpha male, he knows it, and the dogs know it. Controlling kids in the classroom is kind of the same thing, and almost as easy. I'm serious about this -- use Cesar's attitude with the kids, and that's how you will keep them in line.

But if the teacher has no control, you as a parent will have a hard time instilling it, so ultimately it's up to the teacher.

You've gotten a lot of great advice so I won't repeat, especially from S B.

But I find it VERY condescending that you assume these kids are not taught how to be respectful at home. That kind of attitude is shameful IMO, unless you have observed these families in their homes first hand then you have no right to say that.
If the kids are not being respectful at school, that is a failure of the school. Teachers and staff are responsible for building a sense of community and mutual respect, and holding kids responsible for their attitude and actions. Even if a child gets away with mouthing off at home that is no excuse for a teacher to put up with it!

I teach in an inner-city, low income school, and have very respectful students that are a joy to be around. My students are high schoolers. The key to teaching these kids respect is modeling it, and building relationships. I certainly don't want to be their friend, but I do want to know them. They need to know you care, and that you respect them, then they will show you the respect in return. I have extremely high standards for my students, and they rise to the occasion. They need adults who will listen to them, and then they will listen to the adults, as well. That is how we get our message across.

Have you looked into Rachel's Challenge? I don't know too much about it, but I believe the focus is to teach kids how to be compassionate and respectful to each other. If that's a direction you want to take. My kids' school uses it from K to 12th.

I'm glad you want to be so involved, but I am confused as to what exactly you will be teaching and what your program is.

I also don't know exactly how a charter school works. If it's no longer a public school, are you allowed to use the Bible? (Thinking back to our earlier question... :) ) ...because that IS the authority on respecting elders (both parents, teachers, and leaders, like them or not) and that's where I have gone to teach the subject of respect...then again, I homeschool, so I'm allowed to teach however I want!

Looking forward to hearing more about your venture...please elaborate.

We use a "Character Education" (ISBN: 0-88724-456-4) book for our kids and they get a LOT of out of it. Our son is in 6th grade and he listens while we teach our younger ones. They ALL get something out of it. Maybe include that in your curriculum?

Walk in the classroom and own it. Show no fear and then pick out the leader. You should figure that out in about 20 seconds and have him/her help you. Bring him/her up front and showcase him/her somehow.

Watch "Dangerous Minds" with Michelle Pfeiffer. You might get one idea out of it that helps set the tone.

If you show yourself to be a respectable person, they will respect you.

Be kind. Say please and thank you. Listen to them without interrupting and use active listening skills to show you hear them (mirroring, repeating back what is said).

Remember, self esteem isn't taught....it's caught. Kids have to be given situations where they have to overcome difficulty or fear or real life consequences. No amount of repeating affirmations will do it.

So give them lots of opportunities to make choices....and allow them to fail if needed to learn a valuable lesson. Most of all, get parents involved.

Best of luck.