Anyone with High Schoolers

Updated on February 24, 2007
J.O. asks from Roseburg, OR
9 answers

My oldest daughter who is 16 is ADD/ADHD and I have been fighting with the school district that we moved from for the past 3 years. My daughter went from b's to F's. I have had meeting after meeting with both her elementary school and the high school and to no avail will they give her the extra help that she needs. Any suggestions?

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So What Happened?

Thank you for your advice. Belive it or not, I have done all of that. My daughter was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD by a psychologist who specializes in ADD/ADHD and other disorders when she was 12. We moved from Grants Pass to Roseburg, and since we have lived here it has been one fight or another. I have had meeting after meeting and they were supposed to have had an IEP (and the 504) plan done. The meeting for that fially was October 31st. So, you can see my frustrations. I was even told last year by her councelor that she "fell through the cracks" I couldn't belive that she had the nerve to tell me that. I am supposed to have weekly emails from her teachers with progress reports and they are supposed to make sure she turns in her classwork or anythign before she leaves the classroom (her biggest problems with organization is losing her homework in the binder and then if found, does not turn in) but nobody has done anything as of yet. Believe me, I am being the squeaky wheel. I do not want her to go through what I did and am fighting with everything I have. I just want to make sure that I am doing the right thing or if there is anything else I need to try.
Thanks

More Answers

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K.O.

answers from Portland on

I had problems with my oldest daughter too, and in the end, she still did not get what she needed. She was on an IEP. I had to be VERY DEMANDING!! YOU ARE THE ONLY ADVOCATE FOR YOUR CHILD! I demanded that the teachers were accountable to me...not to my daughter. I demanded that I had weekly updates from ALL TEACHERS! I told them that I DID NOT CARE about their workload. It is your daughter's right to an education regardless of her ADD, etc.

There are laws that protect her rights. You might need to get a lawyer. I had to threaten one! DEMAND that you have an IEP meeting RIGHT NOW! Tell them your expectations. Does she need one on one tutoring? Does she need less or modified assignments? It is the school district's responsibility to figure all that out. DO NOT LET THEM DRAG THEIR FEET...CAUSE THEY WILL!!! Tell them that you want a meeting in one week with solutions to this problem. No if and's or buts.

It is one thing to feel bad for the teacher's and their obvious workload, overcrowded classrooms, higher expectations from their districts and from government mandates, but you are are not able to help them with that problem. You are here for your daughter and only your daughter. They keep asking for understanding, but the truth is...the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

Good luck! I totally understand your frustration. Just remember though...ADD or NO ADD, your daughter will have to learn to adjust to the 'real' world. Many high school teachers and counselors believe that it is also their job to prepare them for the real world. She needs to take her meds every day. She needs to be responsible for taking her own notes and write her assignments in her planner. Teacher's can not perform miracles. If she is not 'functional', then you need to find an alternative learning situation for her. The regular high schools are not the place and they can't help her.

Pray lots! Advocate lots! Teach your daughter how to do for herself. There are many functioning ADD'ers out there. You do want her to be one of them, I'm sure. :)

Take Care!

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L.D.

answers from Seattle on

Hi! My name is L. and I have a 9 year old with ADHD/ODD I have found very quickly that not all school districts work the same, so for me since my son was in kindergarden (attending school for just 4 hours a day) was getting sent home suspended as the teacher was not implementing the IEP that we so took the time to set up.

So ultimately since I am a single mom of two and the option of homeschooling them was not there ended up having to move into a different school district. As I could have just requested a transfer however, with that I would have been responsible to make sure that they got to school on a daily bases and since I am at work from 6am that was not possible.

Now the school that he attends is excellent he currently has an IEP plan that will follow him through until he graduates from high school. Plus also to in his 1st grade year he was awarded the Presidents Award for most improved student.

And went he came into school he was way below his grade level so with all the accidemic help that he has received he is currently testing above his current grade level.

Since your daughter has ADD/ADHD she should be on an individual IEP (Individual Education Plan) plan which also offers smaller classes as I know with my son being in the bigger classes makes it difficult for him to concentrate, but the smaller classes of about 8-10 kids is much better.

Also to you can request a transfer to a better school district, however just keep in mind that you would be responsible for the transportation to and from.

Hope that this helps.

L.

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L.L.

answers from Seattle on

If you can't get the high school to cooperate, you might try putting her in running start. I know that probably sounds strange, but colleges are required to provide assistance for people with Learning Dissabilities. I would think that high schools have to do the same thing, but in a college, all you should have to do is provide documentation of the ADHD and she should be able to get help such as note taking, taping of class, copies of overheads, extra time on exams, etc. I don't have a child with ADHD, but I do have it myself, and am almost 27 years old. My mother went through all the same meetings and eventually gave up. I was able to get my SAT's untimed, but only after some persuasion. I think that high schools are required to give the same type of assistance, but I think that colleges may be a little better set up to do so because of the differences in where the funding comes from. Good luck to you. Let us know if you find anything that works. I'm sure that your daughter has learned plenty of tricks to studying and keeping attention in class, but I may be able to offer a few that she possibly hasn't tried before. If you are interested, please feel free to send me a message.

L.

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J.M.

answers from Portland on

I saw your message and immediately called my mom who raised/ is raising 8 children half of whom are ADHD. She confirmed what I remembered and gave me more information. It is MANDITORY for schools to sit down with you and your child and do an Individual Education Plan (IED) which is usually done with the school counselor and principle. It is the law that if your child is suspected of having ADD/ADHD the school must provide testing to confirm diagnosis. In fact most insurance will not pay for this test as it is the schools responsibility. ADHD is considered a handicap/learning disability and falls under those laws. You may need to go above the school to the district superintendent as a close friend of the family had to do with her son. Good Luck. Jen

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D.H.

answers from Spokane on

My first question is was she diagnosed with ADHD or ADD by a doctor? Or is the school saying she is having a problem? If she is a diagnosed ADHD sufferer then they have to find some kind of program that she can go to and it will have to be financially covered by the school district. I have a daughter that we thought was ADD and now she has been diagnosed as Bi polar. I had trouble getting the system to get the required educational services needed by my daughter. She excelled at math and algebra but she still has certain learning problems in English and reading. Who knows. I would be very clear with the school what your daughters needs are and if you have to go to a doctor and get a diagnosis and have that system develop a program for her because in my case it was nothing but a fight and lots of meetings and lots of wonderful suggestions until I started yelling. I had a difficult time getting her the help she needed cause they all wanted to put her in a closet and forget her while I told them there was more going on with her than just a learning disorder. I hope your daughter does not run in to the problems mine did but I was in there boxing these jerks right along with her. We pay taxes to make sure our children get a decent education and because of that they are required to support your child through her needs!

Good Luck

D

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

There is a federal law that requires school districts to provide help to students with disabilities. I think ADD/ADHD qualifies. Contact the Douglas County Educational Service District. They will provide an evaluation and then whatever treatment that she needs.

My grandson was still not talking by the time he was nearly 3. He is getting speech therapy, play therapy and going to a preschool. His mother is also getting help to know how to help him.

The first thing that they did was ask my daughter to fill out a questionare the described his behavior. They several different specialists saw him. They diagnosed him as having delayed speech and began speech therapy. After experience with him they diagnosed apraxia of speech. He and his mother will continue to get special help for as long as he needs it.

ADD/ADHD is harder to diagnose and so perhaps you've been thru that process and they did not diagnose her difficulty as ADD/ADHD. If so then I recommend family counseling to see if there is something in the family dynamics that is causing her to be anxious and exhibiting ADD/ADHD symptoms.

How long has she been seeing the school counselor? How often and for what period of time? If her difficulty is emotional it may take several weeks to several months to make a change in her behavior.

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A.W.

answers from Anchorage on

Yup i believe that test is called an EIP test . ADHD qualifies here so it should there. Counceling/tutor helps too. Maybe a child at her school interested in getting paid to be your kids tutor?
I agee school should care but they dont. You fight for your childs education and they do tend to get angry as what ive experienced or ive heard/seen other parents experience

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T.M.

answers from Seattle on

My son is 17 and had the same problem..Get your daughter an IEP.It will help her. It is for kids with special needs, Add/adhd is a disability and by law they have to be accomidated.So you will need to address this with your school .Principal/councelor/psycologist..best of luck to you I know this is frusterating.

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Y.M.

answers from Portland on

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