Anyone Suffer from PPD/PPA?

I waited a year after my son was born to ask for help and I wish I had done it sooner! The final straw was my husband going out of town the week of the first birthday (due back on the birthday) and I was losing it with extreme anxiety that was piled on to the depression. I was seriously going out of my mind.

The moment I started to talk with my OB/GYN at the appt I scheduled the next week, she stopped me, told me I deserved to be happy and gave me a prescription for Pristiq. I loved it. (And I love her!)

I stayed on the meds for a year and then went off of them. The scrip was just what I needed, when I needed it.

I just got a lot of good responses to a similar question, if you click on my user name you should see the link. I have anxiety and panic attacks. After 2 years of trying to deal with it myself, I finally decided to try Zoloft and it has helped a ton. I was afraid it would make me not myself, but instead it has made me a more focused, in-control version of myself, and I like it. I'm on a very low dosage, because I am breastfeeding. So there are still days where I know a lot of things are going to get to me, and I still have the occasional panic attacks, but it's once every month or 2, instead of every week or more. I also use exercise to help control those panicky feelings, and that also helps quite a bit. Exercising gives you endorphins and can help stop a panic attack in its tracks.

Your daughter is still young, and it's great that you're getting help. The most important thing is to take care of yourself, and that will help you be a better mom to your baby. Don't be afraid to cry in front of her, don't be fake to your own child. If she ever has anxiety when she is grown, she will have an easier time dealing with it by learning from you.

Get on the medication! Weaning yourself off again is not that difficult, actually, and it can make a WORLD of difference. I was diagnosed 8 weeks after my son was born, began treatment shortly afterwards, and I can tell you to the day when it began to kick in. You've done the therapy, you're starting to see issues with your bond with your child, so stopping feeling guilty and talk to your doctor about medications. You don't have to stay on them for the rest of your life, and they could really help you out. Good luck.

Man did I struggle with this after my third. I also went to therapy, and I remember the terrible guilt I had. I really felt like crawling up into a ball to die, as if I was worhtless and the kids would be better off without me. Once I realized that my body is just going a little crazy, I was able to focus on me. I am sure your doing great with your daughter. Since you feel so bad you probably try even harder. Us Moms sometimes forget that we need to take care of us as well. It may help if you start doing things on your own, getting out of the house, try to find something that you can do for YOU! I am on meds, and it helped me, but then again I have always struggled with anxiety, and depression. Keep the possibities open, if meds help, you will be so happy to feel better. Once I went on the meds after my third, It was like night and day!! Good Luck hun!

I had it with both babies. The first time we didn't seek help until I started contemplating some really dark things. I packed my bags and told my hubby I was headed to my mom's house and he was welcome to drive me or not. The baby and I stayed there for 2 weeks. The first night, actually, my parents drugged me to sleep and kept the baby...I was just too far gone to be able to take care of her. So scary. When I got home, I got on anti-depressants and was able to get off about 2 months later. With the second baby, within a few days of being home the symptoms showed themselves and we hopped right back on the pills. Again, within a couple months I was able to get off of them. I will say, neither time did I stop the meds via doctor's orders, which is a huge no-no, but I knew I didn't need them anymore.

For me, being absolutely honest was the biggest help. My darkest thoughts I shared. I was ashamed and angry that I had them, but saying them out loud took some of their power away. I also gave myself permission to feel what I felt. Some nights, I didn't want the baby near me. My husband was incredibly supportive. He would hold her/them and give me space to breathe. I didn't even always leave the house but knowing he wasn't judging me when I was so angry helped. I was able to let my emotions run their course, while keeping the baby safe.

RELAX about your bond. My first born and I went through hell and back and you know what? She is so happy when I'm happy. She loves spending time with me and only mommy can chase away the shadows and heal the hurts. And you need to know, I had PPD and she had colic until almost 3 months old. And breastfeeding failed miserably. Talk about obstacles to bonding. Then I got pregnant again when she was 8 months old. So now I'm tired and grumpy and throwing up. Somehow, this little girl rode the waves and we worked together as a family on healing.

My daughters are 11 months and 2.5 years old and there have been times when I only got through the day by counting down the hours until my husband got home. But keep talking and your eyes on the goal, and BE HONEST about where you are emotionally. Find just (at least) one person that you can be absolutely, completely, totally (see the synonyms? I'm very serious about this) honest with and let them know where you are and what you're thinking.

As a post script: With your daughter being older, you might see if any of the activities YOU like can be adapted to include her. I felt a lot of resentment for a long time because I felt my kids were keeping me from what I loved doing, until I realized they could be part of it too. Specifically, I'm thinking about cooking right now, but I'm working the kids into a lot of MY favorite things and it's really helpful.

Good luck. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! And your daughter loves you and will love you for her you are, not the "perfect" mommy you think you need to be. You are the Mommy she chose when she entered your life. This makes you exactly the right, best, and most perfect parent for her!