Anyone Know How to Keep a 3Yr Old in Bed??

Updated on April 15, 2008
S.B. asks from Jones, MI
9 answers

Ok this is not my child. This is my neice but my sister in law has come to me for help and I have no answer. Other then nyquil ha ha (joking joking joking!!)
I am copying and pasting her email to me this morning..does anyone have any suggestions?

Kids are ok. I have got to do something about Allie getting out of bed.
Last night was horrible. First, she was up at 1am and wanted to sleep with
me, I put her back in bed and put on a DVD so she could go to sleep. Then
at 3am, she went in Bryce's bedroom and pulled his covers off onto the
floor, filled his bed with toys, and he started screaming. I ran in there
to find her scrambling to get back in her bedroom. Then I go in to let her know that it is not ok, and she has chocolate all over her
face. She got up on the counter and got the package of Oreos that Mike
bought and ate half of the package, found those beside the couch. Then I
get to looking, she dumped a laundry basket in the laundry room again and
got up on the counter and got the candy down. Go back in the living room,
and she had the entire bucket of candy dumped in the middle of the living
room floor and wrappers (opened) all over. Needless to say, I didn't get
much sleep.

Any ideas for how to keep Allie in bed????

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

I just saw this. I had the same problem with my 3 year old. She was out of bed 5-6 times a night, always wanting to sleep with us. She was a great sleeper until we took the binky away. I got tired of it, especially when she would scream and wake up her brother. So we put the door safety knob on the inside, so she couldn't open the door. And boy was she PISSED!!! Although it worked. She cried the first night for about 25 minutes when she realized she couldn't get out, and was only up 1 other time to try again. It was on for about 2 months. I just took it off. She sleeps like a champ all night and have not had any problem since. My hubby was concerned about the fire hazard of it, but there is not difference than if she was in a crib. Good luck!

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A.P.

answers from Chicago on

I would suggest NOT putting on a dvd in the middle of the night, it is obviously not making her sleepy, but more awake. Then I would hide/put out of reach all food! Maybe use a baby gate at her door so she can't get out of her room by herself...just until she is sleeping every night (that makes me nervous..in case of fire)Turn off all lights in the house except maybe a night light in the bathroom or something at bedtime.

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W.B.

answers from Chicago on

I agree the DVD isn't a good idea, but I understand the desperation in the middle of the night.

What's with the blaming the mom and asking if she has discipline or structure? This behavior seems pretty normal to me, although the destructiveness is a little more extreme than typical.

I'm experiencing the same thing with my almost 3 year old son--getting out of bed, coming downstairs, jumping on the bed, knocking his bookshelf over. He just transitioned to a twin bed and he's experimenting to see what he can get away with.

A 3 year old can easily climb over a regular baby gate. Unless you have a really tall one, that's probably not going to work and the kid could get hurt.

Everyone says just return them to bed every time, without talking(or minimal talking), do not give in to ploys to stay up, don't read additional stories or sing, etc. I'm hoping it's a few weeks of training them to stay in their room and play quietly until they sleep.

The only other suggestion which I don't like but if she's desperate, she may consider it, is a latch on the outside of the door to keep the door closed. Use it for a few weeks until she knows that she can't get out, then discontinue. Definitely use a baby monitor so you can hear if she needs you.

I've also heard of people offering rewards for when a child stays in bed all night. It could be a special outing, treat or sticker.

I'm assuming she has a nightlight, comfort objects and isn't scared? If not, address those.

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J.

answers from Chicago on

I used to put a gate accross her door then shut the door, she could open the door and call out if necessary but not leave the room

i also agree with the no talking just put her back in bed

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R.K.

answers from Chicago on

Hi S.,
I have a 3year old daughter. The rules in our home are:
No candy (unless special occasion)
No dyes in food (red and blue dyes are especially bad and are found in A LOT of foods) These dyes have been known to cause hyperactivity.
Bedtime routime- bath, brush teeth, read book, bedtime
No TV in Taylor's room.
If she does happen to get up in the middle of the night, I take her right back to bed give her a kiss and hug and say it's night night.
If it happens again do the same above but no talking.
I suggest having your SIL get the book by the Supernanny- her techniques are phenomenal and they do work if you are consistent.
Hope this helps
R.

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J.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

You know, if this were my child, I'd have to say that I'd be installing a gate, better yet, I'd probably lock the door from the outside of the door, and making it to where she CAN'T get out. Not only for the inconveniences she's causing in the middle of the night, but also for the safety issues. Kids can climb on chairs, unlock doors, and get outside without the parents even knowing.

To get her used to learning that "nighttime" is "sleeptime" and that getting out of bed is unacceptable, I would put the gate in place, and let her cry it out. I would tell her ahead of time "Tonight you are NOT to get out of bed. Mommy is going to put up the gate, (lock the door, whatever works best), and you are to stay in your room until morning." I would also tell her that mommy will not be coming in for her until it's time to wake up for the day because when she's in bed, she needs to be sleeping, not crying or playing.

I went through a period where my 2 year old kept getting out of bed at naptime to play with his toys. I laid down on the floor outside of his closed bedroom door. Each time I saw his feel come down the side of the bed, I'd walk in, lift him back to where he was laying on the pillow again, and walk out without saying a word to him. I'm not joking that one day I bet I went in there almost 20 times, but after a few days, he stopped getting out of bed.

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T.S.

answers from Chicago on

One way not to get a child to sleep? Put on a visually stimulating DVD. I personally wouldn't even have a TV in my 3 year olds room, but that's a matter of opinion.

I'd have to ask if this child has boundries on a regular basis? I mean, does your SIL discipline her and is she consistant with it? I can't imagine my son doing that (he's just over 2.5 yrs, though so maybe in time he will, lol!). Did your SIL and brother sleep while she did this? I wake up when one of my boys cough and we don't even use baby monitors. Maybe she needs to have a baby monitor in her room she that SIL and Brother can wake up when she gets up.

I've had success with just putting my 2.5 yr old back in bad (30 times if needed) without a word or anything. He doesn't have any toys (only books and teddy's) in his room and (as I mentioned) no TV. He can read books in bed or play with his teddy's, but that's it. He doesn't get out of bed. It took about 4-5 days of me and my DH putting him back in bed when he got out, but it worked.

Good luck to your SIL. I can't imagine how frustrating it is for her.

T.

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S.D.

answers from Chicago on

Have you tried putting up a baby gate in the doorway with the door open? That is if she can't climb over it. We have done that with our 1 1/2 yr old b/c he started climbing out of his crib occasionally.

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J.M.

answers from Chicago on

Hi there -
I would suggest 1st & foremost, watch one of the "nanny" programs on TV. There is Super Nanny playing now and another called Nanny 911. It is amazing all the situations they handle with other's children, giving parents tools to use to effect behavior.
I remembered a Supernanny one where she had the parent sitting in a chair near the bed, but angled so that no eye contact could be made. After "tucking them in" the adult would say their goodnites & from then on would not speak at all. They would sit in the chair. When the kid got up, not a word was said but you would put them back in the bed & return to the chair. EVENTUALLY the child WILL stay in their bed. Just don't give up. Don't talk, don't make eye contact. Don't engage them in any way. You MUST hold out through this or it will simply lengthen the time you must do this. The next evening, move the chair a foot or 2 closer to the door, but do the exact same thing. Repeat this till you are out of the door, if necessary. I did this with my two grandchildren in the same room (who ALWAYS slept with mom & dad in their bed!). By the 3rd night, they were going to their own beds & that was the last night I sat in the chair. During the day we would praise them for being such "big girls" to sleep all alone in their big girl beds. I must say I was amazed at how well this worked. I only wish I had programs such as these to learn from when I was young & raising children!

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