Anyone Have a Toddler Who Sleeps Well at Night, but Refuses to Nap?

Hi J.:
If your daughter is crying the duration of her nap,It's obvious she's not getting any rest..I'd eliminate her nap all together. J. M.

J.,

The thing is while, Ferber may have worked a few months ago for the night sleeping transition, naptime is a whole other animal at this age. She's more aware of her surroundings and she knows the her normal routine is Mommy and I lay down for nap. All of sudden there is a change and it's tough for her to comprehend why this is happening without gradual transition. With my kiddo the daytime is tougher unless he is pooped. So, I have blackout curtains, a consitent routine just like the one before bedtime and I play soothing calming music that blocks out any outside noise.

We also had a pattern of sleeping together at nap and when I had to go back to work, I had to gradually break away. I started with laying down with him and explaining that Mommy would stay until he was asleep and then, I would be close by. It took us a couple of weeks to get it done but we did. Now, he falls alseep with someone in the room or rubbing his back and that's okay with me. But, he doesn't freak out if I leave or if Grandma leaves during naptime.

Sadly we never used the crib, but now use the toddler bed and sometimes he naps on my bed or the cot I have for sleepover friends. I think I worried about it more than anything and that proved to be something my son could sense. Once we talked about it and I was calm and explained what had to happen, he was okay. Not that it was magic overnight and he always naps with no issues, but it got easier over time.

Good Luck! And, good job!

*Adding This:
Here is a good link:
http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-much-sleep-does-your-chil...

You are going back to work in a month... so who will be caring for her?
Then, that person, would likely put her to nap... and each caretaker has different ways of doing that.
A baby this age, does "need" to nap... so, you can leave it to the caretaker.... I know some Moms do that.
Then, do the same nap routine at home too...
constancy is important with napping.

Also, she is young, and most kids need a "wind-down" time prior to nap. Not just scooping them up and then putting them down in the crib, with no warning. Verbally let her know "its nap time soon... lets get ready...." then do the SAME pre-nap routine every single time. Over time, a child will get used to that... and then know it like auto-pilot. That is what I do with both my kids, still and they nap, still. It takes me about 1/2 hour, pre-nap, to wind-down my kids, before they actually go into the crib (for my son) and naps. Same routine, same time, same thing everyday.
I never let my kids cry it out. Didn't need to. But, I was constant in my pre-nap routines. Everyday. And over time, they KNEW what nap time was, and would nap, without much protesting.

If she is crying, figure out what she needs... she may even be hungry. 1 years old, they have a growth spurt. Or they are teething AND they have separation anxiety too.
If she does not nap... then take her out... .but have a 'quiet time' and don't get her all active again. Just keep things quiet and dark and keyed down. Then, perhaps try again in about 1/2 to 1 hour.

Good luck,
Susan

Hi J.,

I hate to tell you but some kids just won't nap. I am mom to two of them - now seven and ten. Like yours, mine would only nap next to me. Grandma insisted she could get them to nap for three or four hours. I came in at naptime once. They were sprawled across her lap and she had been rocking them for three to four hours. Eventually with both I gave up on trying to force a nap. It was a bummer for me because like all the other moms I could have used the down time.

The good news is both kids are great sleepers at night and always have been. There are no sleep issues in my household as a result of no naps at the toddler and preschool ages. Hopefully some of the other moms will have some good insights or tricks you can try with success. If not, I just wanted you to know you aren't the only mom whose experienced a non-napping child.

Good luck and good sleeping.

C.

J.,
It seems as though you have a very intelligent little one! I had my older twins with a nanny at that age - so I can't speak to my experience there - however, it does seem as though your little one knows that this is the "new routine" - mommy lying down in the bed for nap time. I have had the same difficulty now with my twins who are ten months old...but we're getting ready for daycare routines and now I am placing them in their cribs with a little pat on the back and their favorite blanket and saying it's nap time! (= They do fuss for a little while and definitely had more difficulty to start out - but are now realizing it's time to sleep. It may take up to two weeks (per my girlfriend's stories) to change a habitual pattern for little ones. I hope this helps somewhat.
Take care,
A.

Hi J.,

I also decided to use the Feber Method with my child who is now three years old and the best sleeper and napper in the world. I started it sometime after he turned one and I still use it today when we are going through our parent/child power struggles. My son took to the "cry it out" approach very quickly both for napping and bedtime. But after a couple months nap time became a challenge because he was refusing to take one. I called his doctor who was the first one that told me about the Feber Method to ask why it had worked and now it wasn't. He told me that I just needed to stick with it and let him "cry it out" that he was trying to see how he could manipulate me and the napping situation. The better I was at ignoring it sooner rather than later he would get the idea and things would go back to normal.
Now my son is three and about every couple months we go through the same power struggle of he decides that naps are not for him anymore. I stick with the method and time in and time out, letting him work through it by himself has proven to be the best way.
If you are concerned that she is getting too upset, you should install a 360 degree peep hole in her door. I did this with my son's room and it allowed me to check on him when he was getting upset without going into the room. It also allowed me to see what he was doing and I knew when it was time to go in his room.
Good Luck.

Hi J.,
At this age, they know what they're doing and how to get what they want. I'm still nursing my daughter, and we've been doing the "snack and snooze" forever. On the weekends, she wants me to hold her on the boppy while she naps. She wakes up immediately if I try to put her in crib.

Her babysitter held or rocked her to sleep for the longest time because she didn't like to hear her cry. I asked her last week if she was still doing that, and she said no, she puts her in the pack n play, turns on the radio, and shuts the door to the room. So the little stinker has been falling asleep on her own at the sitter's house, but still puts up a fit at home so that I hold her while she naps. I've decided this needs to end as well because I need time to clean the house, etc. Last weekend I went to Target and bought a CD clock radio for my daughter's room. So my plan is to put her in her crib, turn on some music, and close the door and walk out. We bought a crib tent a few months ago when she started trying to climb out of her crib. Once I get her used to napping on her own, we'll probably move her to a big girl bed.

My cousin used the Ferber method as well with her daughter, and she said she never had much luck with sleep training for naps. So try using some soothing music when you put her down. Also, realize that she may take short naps for a while. My daughter will sleep 2 hours straight when the sitter puts her down for her nap, but when I've tried to let her cry it out at home, she wakes up after sleeping for only half an hour (usually then I'd take her and nurse her in the living room and she'd fall back asleep). I may have to let her cry it out twice until she learns that she needs to nap for at least an hour.

Good luck to you!

Hi J.,

My son is also not the best napper and never has been, but has been a pretty good night sleeper since about 9 months. I seem to recall having a problem at 18 months, too! (Yup, just went back through my Mamasource files and confirmed. We had napping issues right at 18 months). Don't worry, keep up your routine and hopefully this will pass sooner than later. On days she doesn't nap, try putting her to bed at least an hour early. It may or may not extend her sleep initially, but keep it up until she gets back to napping.

My son eventually got into a good nap routine (we were constantly going back and forth between one and two naps until about 20-21 months) and then right after he turned two, he stopped napping altogether. I'd put him to bed early and he'd sleep 12-13 hours. The next day, I'd put him down for a nap, and it wouldn't happen. After 10 days of this, I asked his doctor who told me it was just a phase. I came on here and moms told me that it could be a phase, or it could be he was really done with naps, but in either case, it was best to try to give him some down time. I started initiating quiet time with books in bed so he could read and self-entertain. It worked pretty well. For about two and a half months, he had quiet time where he would SOMETIMES take a nap. Then, recently, he started sleeping less at night and I could tell he was getting over tired. I took the books away, made his room dark (but left his door partially open since he asked), put a fan on in his room, and he's been napping ever since. I now let him go to bed a little later and he sleeps 10-11 hours at night and will usually take an 1 1/2 long nap.

And this, I'm sure, is only temporary. I'm waiting for the next non-sleep phase, which I'm sure is just around the corner. *sigh*

P.S. The going back to napping also coincided (maybe coincidentally, maybe not) with one of his two-year molars finally cutting through. Hope all of this helps! Praying is the only thing that keeps me sane sometimes!