My husband trains for half iron mans (swim, bike, run) which is awesome but he spends a few hours a day exercising. He does try to do it during lunch hour and before the rest of us wake up but sometimes I feel annoyed at the time and money spent on this. I know it's not drinking, cheating etc, so not a big deal since I do get some alone time (not as much as he does!) and couple time with him but maybe just a vent..... anyone with a similar experience???
Hubby doesn't do tri, but he has a hobby which I find to be a total waste of time and energy. It only irritates me if he is doing it and ignoring us. If he does it when I am busy, I don't care. Plus, it is free.
I am a winter widow - my husband is an avid snowmobiler. We live in San Antonio, which means between December and March he is traveling to New Mexico or Colorado every three weeks for a long weekend. I used to be frustrated by it, but have made my peace with his snowmobile. First, I recognize that it makes him incredibly happy and is really a part of his identity. Second, I feel more flexibility in finding my own passion outside of husband and children. I have taken up running and my "extracurricular" activity inconveniences him sometimes too. As a part of our marriage, we try to allow each other the time and space to be the people we want to be. Of course, I am feeling positive right now. Ask me again in January and I will have a totally different answer! good luck!
Hmmm- it is the opposite in my household - I am the one who does the triathlons, road races, etc. I go to the gym at 5am every day and my kids (3.5 and 2) get up around 645. I am home by 7 but then head to work till about 545 (hubby and I commute together so we get some time together other people don't). I give him the evenings to go play handball or whatever he wants to do and try not to hassle him about it even though we are all awake when he is working out. Honestly if exercising keeps your husband healthy and happy (as it does me), you should find a way to be more supportive. If it is breaking your budget, then you guys need to discuss and set aside only a certain amount for races a year. There are some more sprint distance tris near me that are free or low cost. Maybe he can do a few Longer ones a year and then some shorter, cheaper ones and work on his speed rather than endurance to switch it up. I would also make watching the races a family event or have someone watch the kids and go there yourself at different stages to support him if you aren't already. Endorphins are a funny thing -- you may find if you talk your husband into lessening his activity level that he will become a grumpy evil-twin of himself (happens to both me and my sister-in-law). I think maybe you also need alone time in the evening to do something you enjoy -- like I do with my husband -- to even things out. Good luck! I know it is difficult to balance it all. Often my husband gets shafted on evening workouts and "his time" if things come up.
When I dated these things were on my checklist:
any hobbies that take a lot of time/money?
any excessive love for sports?
It is impossible to change the man if he had this passion before you married and had a child.
My father was doing yoga, meditation, taking the car apart and back together, building a tree house, etc. My mom said that all those activities are a waste of time and an excuse to not participate in child rearing...
So I asked a lot of questions when I dated and observed the guys - and those who were too busy... never got too much of my time.
Now, I guess, you are stuck...unless you want to train as well and he would have to take care of the child while you do that or hire someone.
