Any Suggestions for Dealing with a Picky Eater?

J., you're already doing a good job -- variety of foods, variety of serving "styles," etc. -- except for maybe that "force-feeding one bite at a time" thing.

I know you're ready for him to "get over this pickiness at some point" but that point may be years away. My daughter is seven and at this age I can reason with her about trying new stuff, and she might, but she remains "picky" about anyting she deems "spicy," which is many things. My friend's son who is 13 now will at least taste most anything but does not sit down and chow on the international foods his mom loves.

At age two, your son is getting used to new textures and flavors and little kids, as I'm sure you've heard, are really sensitive to food textures, which you can't change or beg or bribe away. Also, I recently saw a news account that said that scientists now think humans instinctively reject new foods at around this age as a hard-wired and ancient way to protect themselves from poisoning--not that adult humans are trying to poison them these days, but the human creature is programmed from ancient times to protect itself by being very selective about its eating, and this kicks in at the age when today's adults want our kids to "just try this"! So some of the pickiness is just hard-wired and has to be overcome once the child is old enough for his curiosity or our convincing to overcome that instinct.

So keep offering, asking, making a game of tasting new stuff, but if you force it -- and if your husband keeps pushing bites at him -- this will become a power struggle, not a feeding issue. Kids realize very, very early that we adults cannot MAKE them eat and cannot MAKE them use the toilet, which is why feeding issues and potty-training issues are constantly on Mamasource! They can control these things at certain points and they will. Eventually your husband, though he means well, will push the spoon at your son one time too many and your son will realize that clamping his mouth shut means he, your child, can be in charge and get a reaction from the grown-ups too. Even negative reactions are reactions and at this age kids will take either kind.

One last thing: I'd never bribe him if I were you. I know some parents do the "eat this and you get dessert" bribe but our kids are so exposed to cupcakes at every preschool event, sweet snacks at friends houses, etc. that the bribe of sweets (I believe) only builds that sweet tooth. That's just me.

Keep on offering, don't make him too much stuff that you think he might reject so you don't waste food. And don't despair! My daughter just fell in love with asparagus so there will be gradual victories!

my daughter is a great eater but sometimes she decides that if she refuses food at dinner time and then asks for something later she'll get something yummier like fruit. so i started keeping her food after dinner. if i expect that she is playing this game i simply offer her dinner again when she asks for food later at night. she seemed to get the idea pretty fast that this was her dinner and if she didn't want this she wasn't going to get applesauce instead. maybe i'm a little hardcore and my daughter is a little older (2.5 yo). i also don't do this with foods i know she hates. i also have given her foods disguised as other food. peas in pasta. spinach on pizza. broccoli and cheese omelets. this allow them to acquire the taste of a vegetable a little at a time. kids also seem to be more eager to eat the food if they help cook it or grow it. good luck!

I have a daughter almost two who is in a similar boat. I am told by her doctor this is a natural stage to go through and do not force feed. Force feeding will only set your child up for very bad eating habits later in life. Even if a child seems to get little food in per day research shows they get the nutrition they need.
What has helped me not to stress so much about her not getting a "balanced" diet is giving her vitamins everyday and also veggie/fruit juice combo. She loves the veggie combo juices and is getting her daily veggies without knowing it. Some good brands are Vrut and a couple others that are sold at Whole Foods. I think each 8 oz. is 4-5 servings of daily fruits and veggies.

Try making food funny. For example when you make a grilled cheese sandwhich use a cookie cutter to cut out shapes. Or build a smile face using an olive for a nose and grapes for eyes and a pickle for the smile. Try that with pizza too, u can use broccoli for the eyebrows. I use a star cookie cutter and always tell my little girl she is my star. She loves it. Use your imagination. When serving spagetti tell him the sauce is like lava coming out of the mountain. Also, make making food fun, let him stir a bowl of somthing. Sure it's going to get everywhere but heck, it will help and screw the mess. One day your kids will be gone before you know it so have fun while you can!!

My son went through the same thing. My pediatrician said that if what he was eating was healthy not to worry about it. I just kept trying and now he eats a larger variety of foods. One thing that helped was letting him eat food with toothpicks. For some reason being able to pick the food up with a toothpick was fun. I was able to encourage him to eat broccoli by having him pretend to be a dinosaur eating "trees". Also, My son also loves "dip" aka ketchup or ranch dressing so I allow him to dip his food. Hang in there! This too shall pass.