here we are: my little one is 17 :) !
so what about the cellphone?
I found the greatest way to communicate with my daughter:
she is not very talkative in real life,
but when i text-message her to the other room in the same house,
she responds immediately,
and she is full of wit, and loves-it !!!
it's a new generation, R.!
they grow up with technology
and they consider it not a luxury or convenience
but an utmost necessity, a tool that helps them to live...
we cannot change it, this is another era.
What we CAN do,
is to set up rules.
Actually, this is a TOOL FOR YOU,
to make sure she behaves
and has all the chores and homework done:
if you know that she's attached to her phone so much, USE IT !
"You have chores-homework done, all is well:
here's your phone-cell.
"You missed one homework, - minus one hour of the phone,
put it on my desk and go finish your task.
You do not behave well, cellphone walks away for a day,
and oh, you cannot go out with freinds
if we do not have connection!
(this is crucial: moms and daughters
need to have connection at all times, right?)
Now, if you do want to go out, can you take the phone for coupe hours:no honey remember, this was the agreement
and you need to remember:
all is cool
if you follow
one simple rule:
you do allright
you have the phone, and all again is good."
did you try it?
It works absolutewly WONDER-FULLY:
and please, to not get upset, or angry!
stay happy, and smiley: you are a FRIEND.
For this simple rule to work,
before you start this awful 'punishment',
you need to talk to her first,
and set this rule up TOGETHER:
ask her for timing:
for how long she misses the phone when she:
~ did not submit homework
~ forgot to make some chores
~ misbehaved
~ whatever she sometimes does not do right...
you can ever write it down and place it next to the calendar:
this enables her to know the consequences,
and she cannot be angry at you:
it was a teamwork, to set the rule up,
and now it is not you who punishes you, but she just has to follow the RULES: unemotional, and impersonal.
You only remind her: 'sorry, honey, go read the rules-note..."
P.S. when I text message her, i do it awfully slowly,
but she likes getting my messages,
so she is patient to wait,
and answers promptly. :)
I wish you both all the best!!!
P.P.S. Are they not great, our 16-17 year olds ?!
:) when she was 13, she told me, on my approaching her,
usually so cozy and hugable:
"MOM YOU"R IN MY BUBBLE!"
This was the very first sign, when I realized: I have a teenager in the house! :)
They require a little different approach,
but they are so cool!