Any Firewives Out There?

Dear C.,
I'm not a fire wife, but I know one. We are such close friends that we consider ourselves family. I actually met her husband first. As a single mom, he offered to help me move and when I called the number he gave me, his wife answered and was not too happy at first! But, then she calmed down and thought about it....it is so like her husband to do something like that. To offer to help anyone that he can. Gosh, that was 11 years ago.
I have forwarded her this site, but she is a teacher and very busy in her own right. She doesn't have time.
But, her husband has worked for CDF for 25 years. Their oldest child just started college. The youngest is my son's age.
I often wondered how in the world she could handle her husband being gone so much. Especially during fire season, there are weeks that she doesn't even know where her husband is and we all watch the news about the fires he is sent off to fight.
Thank God he always comes home.
As a teacher, she has summers off. So she keeps herself busy. She reorganizes the garage or paints the house or we go and spend the night with her or go fishing, swimming, or camping just us and the kids. We go to church. We cook together. I've had her kids at my house and done things with them just so she can have a nice long soak in the bathtub.
I'm not a preachy person, but her faith really gets her through. That and keeping busy. It becomes a lifestyle after a while. And, after all these years, he can't wait to get home to her and she can't wait to have him back.
She is very supportive and sometimes, after being on the fire line, he is tired and stressed and gets grumpy only because he can't be in two places at once and feels like he doesn't do enough at home. She never nags or makes him feel bad. She does everything to let him know that she is capable and things will be fine....home is right there waiting for him.
You've got your hands full with little ones and you are right. You need some support. And I hope you can find it.
It would seem that your husband has been a fire fighter for some time and that is probably a very big part of why you love him and are so proud of him. I'm sure he does his best to try to juggle everything and you need to do your best too. Another long term dear friend is married to a police officer. He goes on sting operations and surveillance. She's got kids younger than yours. He was a cop before they got married 8 years ago. They too have one of the strongest, happiest marriages I have ever seen.
It can be done. I promise.
Like I said, with a new baby on the way and in a new area, I really hope that you can find a support system.

Best of wishes!

Hi C.,

I'm a firewife too, my husband works in Santa Cruz County also. Although we live in Los Gatos/Cambrian area, all/most my friends are in Santa Cruz and know plenty of local 'firewives'. Feel free to send me an email to chat offline if you'd like. I hope I can offer some great ideas to keep busy and not focus so much on the time your husband is gone. I am a mother of a 2 year old girl.

Hi there, I'm a firewife too. We have 2 girls, 6.5 & 4.5, and I'm due with baby #3 in 3 weeks. Is there a ladies or family auxiliary to join in your dept? If so, I would highly recommend looking into it as our dept's offers a ton of support to families and it would be a great way to get to know the other wives. In any case, hang in there...

C.,

I belong to a Moms Club in San Lorenzo. Our member base is stay at home moms in San Lorenzo, San Leandro, and Hayward. We offer support to stay at home moms - play dates, events, etc. We currently have about 27 members. One of our members is a firewife. We are having an open house on Monday, October 6th from 10 - 12 at the San Lorenzo Village Homes Association building. 377 Paseo Grande, San Lorenzo. I am not sure where you are located but if you are local to us and a stay at home mom you are welcome to come and bring your 4 year old.

Hi C.,

I am not a firewife but I am a copwife so it's pretty much the same. Where did you move to? I live in Plumas Lake and we have a great moms group. If you are in Yuba City there is Moms in Motion which is quite active too. You can email me directly if you would like. I know what you are going through. I moved here two years ago when I was pregnant and it was hard with my husband working all the time!

J. W

MOPs International is a worldwide organization for moms with children 0-kindergarten age. They usually meet twice a month at a local church and they provide childcare for your children while you attend the meeting, you are welcome to keep your kids with you if you choose. During the meeting you will start off with a breakfast of some sort and then usually they will do announcements, speaker, game, or craft. It depends week to week. It is specifically designed for moms to come together within the community and give you the support you need. You will meet many differant women, a great way to get connected. If you do a search on MOPs International, you can type in your city or zip code and they will locate the closest one to you. I found one in Aptos, which is right near Santa Cruz. They also have a few in Los Gatos. Also, when you have your baby they will typically have someone coordinate meals for you to help out with the new transition. They also have playdates that your 4 year old would love. Check it out and hopefully it will work out for you.

I'm married to a firefighter as well, and totally understand you post. Unfortunately, I live a bit far away (Benicia/Vallejo), but if you wanted an email buddy I'd be glad for the support as well. I have two girls, ages 6 and 4 1/2, with a third girl due in 4 weeks. My husband works 48's, but we depend on a certain amount of overtime to make ends meet. Although we have been married for 8 years, I still find it very difficult to get into a rhythm with his schedule (especially with the OT thrown in).

Hi C.,
I'm a fire wife living in Santa Cruz. I have a 19mo boy & 3 mo daughter. Santa Cruz has a great supportive community for pregnant women, and I know a couple of other fire wives - Feel free to email me for support