My sister and her husband are such rude people. They will burp around anyone and her husband will fart pretty much all the time.He doesn't care who he's around. This is so rude to me. Am I the only one out here that thinks this is so nasty? This past weekened they came to my house. We were sitting around talking and all of a sudden I smelled something really foul. I automatically gave him a dirty look and he had a big grin on his face and started laughing. About 5 or 10 minutes later my husband walked past him and he farted out loud so everyone in the room heard him. He has no respect for my house and his wife and kid. My sister thinks it's funny. He has lost his manners so much that my 3 year old won't go around him. She says he smells bad because he farts!
My sister on the other hand I think is out of control. She will eat and burp out loud. My own baby girls will tell her that she's nasty to do this and she doesn't care either. One example is my family went to her house and she maded pancakes. While at the table with my 7 year old daughter, my sister burped several times. My 7 year old daughter started gagging her food because of this. It's at the point now to where I am really about to go off on them. I love my sister, but they can be so nasty and rude. How would you handle this situation without hurting someone's feelings? My brother in law is around 34 or 35 years old and my sister is 29. They are too old to be doing this especially around their own daughter who's 8 years old.
Thank you all so much for all of your comments and suggestions. I have decided to let my BIL and Sister know when they come back to MY house that they will have to stop with the stinking up my house or they can hit the door, because I don't want my kids to be influenced anymore by their behavior.
That's discusting and inappropriate...sounds like they have "no class". I wouldn't worry about hurting their feelings...they obviously don't even care!! Just tell them to grow up and to quit being so gross!
good luck with that!
I was married the first time around into a family like this and I took a different approach because I felt like saying anything to the perpetrator would simply reinforce the behavior. (If they are embarrassed, now they need to laugh more, or make me look like prude. If they are trying to get a rise out of me, well then they would have succeeded.) Instead, since I spent a lot of time talking to the kids about manners anyway, and I included this as part of the lecture series. Also, part of having manners is dealing with people who DON'T have manners. We don't want to make them feel awkward, so we pretend these faux pas never happened. It really worked like a charm in our house, although I will admit to second-guessing myself a time or two. Everyone else would be cracking up, and the kids and I would just be going about our business. I never had a problem with the kids emulating the nasty adults in their lives. I do remember a time when my husband let out a nasty, loud one and my sister-in-law asked my little boy (4 years old) if he was impressed with his daddy. He told her in a whisper, "Oh, Auntie C., we pretend we don't hear it so Daddy won't be embarrassed. It is really stinky though." Brought down the house.
Don't visit them or invite them over. Really. I don't care if they're family. Just meet them in public places, parks or perhaps the zoo (where other animals with rude behavior live) and that's that.
You have your own family to raise and model for, keep your sister at arms length... literally.
Sorry to be so blunt, but why bother having them over? Okay now a more serious response- USE that as a learning tool for your children. If they do it, turn it RIGHT back to them by pointing it out to your children if your sister and brother in-law are in YOUR house. "Son/Daughter, isn't that gross when you hear or smell that?" That is BAD manners and I don't want ANYONE to think that you were not raised properly or don't respect other homes- that is why I tell you that there is a time and place for things like that, and the restroom is one of them. Now if the "Charming" in-law and sis have kids, Grab the book, 'Teaching Your Children Good Manners: A Go Parents! Guide' and give it to them without sparing the feelings.
Sorry but coming into your home with THAT, is NOT exactly respectful to you or your family. Better yet just tell them- "I am glad that you make yourself at home here in my house, but that would be the two areas I insist that you LEAVE at your home. We are working on teaching the kids about manners, and I wouldn't want them to think that you are gross, nasty and stinky"
SO SORRY That you have to deal with that!
All you can do is just tell them how you feel. You don't like it and you definitely don't have to put up with it at YOUR house.
Set the boundary and stand firm.
If you're at their house and they do it, leave.
If they are at your house and they do it, tell them it's time to go.
I will tell you this......anytime you decide to set boundaries with people, most of the time, they will not like it and you will be ridiculed. Be prepared and stand strong! Hold tight to what you believe in.
Good luck!
My MIL was just over this past weekend, & she does it all the time. I tell her she's disgusting & move away from her, but she thinks it's hilarious. My MIL has no manners & no class. I have no idea how to take care of this. It doesn't bother my DH because he's used to it. He does think she's inappropriate sometimes, but he won't say anything against her. Last night our whole house smelled bad, & I sprayed air freshener all over. Next time I'll just leave the bottle next to the couch, & I'll go spray her like a dog every time she farts.
I just am trying to teach my son to go to the bathroom to do it, & I tell him his granny is disgusting & has no manners when she's not around.
Tracey,
don't worry about hurting their feelings, they after all are hurting your feelings, disrespecting your home and tramatizing your children. If its your sister, then I would speak directly to her (let her talk to her husband). Try pulling her aside or having a sister day and let her know, you love her but you find it offensive and if she doesn't stop then you won't go around her, and/or you won't let her come around you - if its that serious.
How about anonymously emailing them this post? lol
I wouldn't associate with them much if you find it offensive (which I do as well!). They're adults & you can't change them, but you can choose your company! Family or not!
Tracy, let me tell you I found myself in a very similar situation, except it was my husband's brother that did it and it bothered be me a lot. What I did was talk to my husband (who actually thought it was funny and didn't bother him at all) and I told him how I felt, and firmly asked him to speak to his brother no to do that around me.
I guess what you can do is set your sister appart, tell her exactly how you feel and then set boundaries... maybe tell her she needs to speak to her husband because you've decided to have to ask them to leave your home next time they do it. So that way you are giving them a chance to change, and if they don't, they already know the consequence and when you ask them to leave your house it won't come as a surprise.
Honestly, if they haven't gotten a clue yet, they probably never will. I think all you can do is try and limit time around them (especially during meals) and to reiterate to your children how this is NOT how you behave and you expect better behavior in your house, etc.
Does he have IBS? Sometimes they laugh about it, but it's just because they can't do anything about it. Dunno....it is pretty gross, but I'd ask if he had it. And I wouldn't invite them to dinner or whatever.
HOW GROSS!!! Bless your heart--what a sticky situation! I would tell them they can do that at their own home, BUT NOT YOURS!! Especially if it disturbs your children. It's YOUR home and you should tell them exactly how it goes! I know that is easier said than done! Good Luck!! :) C.
