Any Advice???

Wow, that's tough.. I really think the basics are in order such as spending as much quality time with the 11 mo old as possible, holding, carrying, playing with, cuddling, going for a walk, etc. Anything mentally and physically stimulating is best, since a tired, calm baby is more accepting and tolerant of anything that is bothering them. I would get a sling or carrier and wear him on you more. This closeness reinforces love and security. Remember that the newborn can sit in the swing for a short time while you play blocks, cars, hide and seek, peekaboo with the older baby. While nursing, you can let the older one keep your other side warm or look at a book together. This is a herd age because they truly are not emotionally or physically ready to not be the only baby. Try to be really understanding that he can not rationally understand his role or place and will undoubtedly feel that his place is being taken by the newborn. He is still very much a baby himself :-) Love, love, love and lots of closeness and security! Best wishes!

my two kids are 14 months apart and he would not touch her or come near her.Well now they are best friends i got him used to her by blowing rasberries on her belly.he loved blowing rasberries so i had him blow them on her belly and now at 28 months and 16 months he still does it

Seems no matter how old they are they all feel a twinge of jealousy when a new baby arrives. I can tell you with raising 5 kids that this is something I still deal with and my youngest is three now. When she was born my youngest son was a major mommy's boy. He never left my side. He really hated sharing me with his new sister. I had to set aside "mommy & me" time special for each of my kids so they did not feel left out. Even if it was just leaving the baby with daddy when when one of the kids went grocery shopping with me. One loved to help me cook, another just wanted extra time to talk about his books that he was reading, My oldest daughter needed more attention than the boys though. I think it was harder on her being the only girl for almost 9 years. Because she was the oldest I could do more with her, and she eventually allowed our baby to participate in some of our "mommy/daughter" activities but still needs me to herself sometimes.
Okay I know, I ramble. My advice is find time to set aside for your 11m old that is just the two of you. Also see what he can teach the younger sibling. With them both being under a year this can be harder, but possible.

Hi K.,

Congratulations on the new addition to your family! My boys are really close in age - barely 10 months apart, so I can relate to what you are dealing with. What worked for us was to make the older one feel bonded to the baby and to make special time for him. We had him sit with us while we were holding the baby... paying a lot of attention to him while doing it. I'd have big brother give the baby a kiss and pet him a lot. He couldn't talk, but he could say, Bub - so that's what we called the baby ... Baby Bub or Bubba! (Thankfully, it didn't stick!) I made him feel like the baby was his, too. I'd tell big brother that Baby Bub needed "us". Big bro would crawl (or push his walker) to the baby and "help me" quiet him, change him, feed him, everything. I also worked on getting big bro to learn to play independently by having a box of special toys that he only got while I was busy with the baby. A friend gave him the Baby Mozart video as a Big Brother Gift and that was a life saver! It would hold his attention for at least 10-15 mins so I could rock the baby to sleep. When baby was sleeping, I gave big brother a lot of attention and kept him busy. (We went outside a lot - played in the yard with the baby monitor in my pocket). I also would put the baby in the Bjorn carrier several times a day so that I had my hands free to play with big bro. I remember that I didn't think I was going to make it thru some days!! I sometimes didn't take a shower, talk on the phone, go on the computer, or speak to an adult until the day was almost over and I was too exhausted to want to do any of them! I worked really hard to get them to take one good nap at the same time everyday so that I at least had time to eat something healthy, clean up the house a little, and plan dinner. I would actually put a note on my front door that said, "Both babies are asleep! For your own safety, Do NOT knock or ring the bell!" Anyway, my sons are 8 now and they have always been very close - best friends with just a few squabbles now and then. The only thing I would have done differently would have been to ask for help from friends and family instead of thinking & acting like I had to do everything by myself. When the boys were 1 & 2 I would have a 12 yr old neighbor girl come after school 2x a week and play with them. I only paid her $4/hour - but she was thrilled to get it and I got a ton of stuff done. I should have had her come when the baby was a newborn, just to play with big brother.

Good Luck and God Bless!!

The best advise is to let it work itself out. You can try to have "special time" with your 11 month old by reading a book or playing a game. If they can bring a diaper and help out or get a blanket when you need one that too might help. Include your 11 month with simple tasks to make them "feel needed". I know your giving lots of hugs and kisses so keep that up also :) Your doing great!