Anti-Bullying Programs

Thanks, Denise! I don't feel so bad about laughing too!

When I read this, I immediately heard my daughter's voice in my head saying, "It's opposite day! Yes means no and no means yes!" She is also a dawdler and constantly asks to do other things when she's supposed to be getting ready for bed. He's just testing boundaries. I would handle it exactly the way Denise said to.

I'm sorry--gotta LOL!
Sounds like you have a future attorney on your hands.
Good luck!
(Kind of like when my "Be An Independent Thinker" spiel comes back to bite me!)

I'm laughing because I can see my kids doing that! So not funny when it's your kid, but I'm appreciating the fact it's not me!

I'm not sure you need to take it to the program director, as much as directly address this with your child. (However, I'm not sure that telling a bully you're a "free fish" will stop the bullying, and might even increase the bullying!) First, at a separate time when you're not disciplining, talk to your child about the difference between parenting and bullying, and that using anti-bullying tactics against parenting is not appropriate and will not be tolerated. Then discuss what the consequences will be.

When your child does this again, start implementing consequences.
N: I'm a free fish...
You: Ok, free fish, you just lost privilege X, and if you continue to take no notice of me, you will also earn chore X (or whatever your consequences are). You have to the count of 3 to start your bath or brush your teeth.
N: (hopefully will start to take notice of you, but if not...) No, you can't bully me!
You: We discussed this. What is my job? (to parent) What is your job? (to listen and follow directions) Do you need further consequences? You have to the count of 3 to start your bath or brush your teeth.

Then make sure you follow through on the consequences. Good luck!

So it I read this correct he is interpeting your normal disipline as bullying?

You and the program director need to have a sit down chat with this child. He needs to understand that he has to follow house rules and listen to Mom and Dad.

It would help to know how old he is.

How old is your child?

Your child, is "confusing" bullying... with your disciplining.
That is the problem.
The child does not understand what "bullying" is.

Jaw dropped! What?! That's awesome, LOL!!! (awesome because it's not me....yet).
I don't know if I'd bother with the program director on that. Since I'm not sure what the free fish thing is, I can't use that in context but basically would say "This is not your bully class, I am not your peer, I am not a bully but your mother. Your are not my peer, but my child. Get up NOW and brush your teeth while the water is running in the bathtub".
I give my children choices on what to do first, but if they don't make a choice, I will do so for them. They don't like it, it takes their "empowerment" and "feelings of independence and control" away. And that's exactly what I'm aiming for. I don't want them to like it that I'm making their choice. Next time, maybe they'll remember to obey and keep that empowerment for themselves.
But since it's not my child, I'll just sit back and giggle....because that sounds really cute.

That cracks me up! As a school counselor (formerly of elem school) I know exactly what your son is talking about. It's not really an anti-bullying program, but it is a great book for kids called Simon's Hook. It teaches them different strategies in a clever and humorous way. It mostly helps them tackle everyday meanness on the playgrounds, not hardcore bullying (but, IMO, if we teach kids to handle the little things confidently in primary grades, they will be more sure of themselves and adept at handling the tougher things in Jr. High/HS).

Anyway, the book has nothing to do with standing up to your parents so I think it's very cute that he is trying to translate that over to the homefront! God bless him. Not gonna work, huh mommy? ;)

The more important question here is why does your son connect you and your parental expectations to the lessons he learns at school about bullying? That's actually pretty unusual! You have to explain the difference, I guess he is too young to understand.

You need to stay in power, while giving your child control. This well benefit them all their life. From the example you gave: when he said "NO"; say, that's not an option, you can take your bath or brush your teeth. What's the big boy going to do? and if he still says no, just remind him that isn't an option, repeat and walk away.

kids will push the boundaries, just stay firm.

Okay - who says this is bullying? It sounds like a child rebelling.

Sounds like a child who needs to learn the difference between bullying and discipline. If one of my daughters considered that bullying, I would pick up the phone and tell her the number for CPS.

Just read your SWH - so after a 'performance' your son feels empowered and calls foul. Okay. Got it. He is testing his boundaries. My daughter's are good with that. Especially since I became a SAHD. However, just passed six months and we're getting there! I just stay the course.

I don't really understand the "free fish" thing, but I don't do the count to 3. Once he said "No, I don't want to" I would have swatted his behind and there would not have been any further discussion. I don't allow a straight out "No" An "Do I have to" or something along those lines is acceptable but never "no"

Ugh! I hate it when I hit answer before reading all the previous posts. Here's my 2 cents...I'm all about your choices approach to handling your child. Also I like giving children a warning then a deadline.

With that said, your child needs to understand that the information he is receiving is designed to help him communicate with other children. He is not to respond to you with the tools to deal with other children, because you are not only an adult, you are his parent. Your child also needs to understand that this type of response to an adult is disrespectful and even though he is learning this at school, if he responds to a teacher in this manner he may receive some unpleasant consequence.

Additionally, I think there would be some benefit to you discussing this situation with his teacher, so there are the same consequences at school as at home when your child is disrespectful.

Now, I as many parents support the teacher, but not all parents do. If you're not, you will create a manipulative monster.

Be sure your requirements are met with by the teacher.l