Answering Silly Questions

Updated on December 21, 2010
N.S. asks from Buffalo Grove, IL
10 answers

My SD has started a new phase where she asks questions all day long! All the questions are ones that either she can answer herself, or have no real answer. It's getting to be really annoying! Also, she's not four, she NINE years old!

For example, she will watch me take out a box of macaroni and cheese, see me put it in the pot and then ask me what's for lunch. If I say "what do YOU think is for lunch?" she will say "macaroni and cheese!"

Examples of questions "Why is my friend's name Paige? Why are you wearing a red sweater? Why do you drive a blue car? Why did you sit on that side of the couch? Where are we going? (She will ask this when we are parked in the Target parking lot and walking toward the store!) Why does this doll come with a black dress?"

None of the questions have REAL answers except for "I chose this red sweater." She asks a lot of questions with obvious answers, like we'll be going into the library like we do EVERY WEEK and she will still say "are we going to look at books?" We look at books every week at the library! She'll see we are sitting in the parking lot at the grocery store and ask if we're almost home. Obviously not, I haven't even left the grocery parking lot yet! And we drive to the SAME grocery store EVERY WEEK.

I started with turning the questions back at her. If she says "are we going to look at books?' I will say "what do you think?" And she will always answer her own question. My husband and I are getting annoyed with the nonstop questions all day long and he will often tell her to just stop asking questions. When I'm thoroughly annoyed with it I will tell her that I'm going to ignore all questions except the ones that are really important and then I do. Eventually she'll stop for the day, but continue the next day.

Any other handlings you know of? We've even sat her down and told her that we're happy to answer any real questions she has, but she needs to stop asking things that she can figure out for herself or questions that have no real answer (like why is Tide soap called Tide soap?) There hasn't been much change. She doesn't do this at her mom's, just at our house.

The ONLY thing I can think of is she has a 3-year old sister at her mom's house who is in the question-asking phase and maybe she's trying to copy that? If so, why over here and not there? And how do we curb it?

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So What Happened?

Thanks all! I tried a few things and found something that worked. First I tried silly answers, but she thought it was a game so she started coming up with more silly questions and wouldn't stop. So I tried taking her questions VERY seriously. I started guiding her toward finding the full answer, which meant looking it up in the encyclopedia or on the internet. We would sit and research the answer, or if we weren't by any information source I would ask her a lot of questions about it.

She asked why a glove was lying in our apartment hallway. So we went inside and researched Newton's law of physics. She wanted to know why it was lying on the ground! She was SO NOT INTERESTED in wasting her playtime learning about Newton. A little later she asked why my sweater was green. So we went to the chapter on light and color. Again, NOT INTERESTED in learning about light and color in her free time! That was the last silly question I heard so far. We'll see if it continues to work!

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

In my family we have a phrase:

"Ask a silly question; get a silly answer."

Car speeding down the freeway. "Are we there yet?"... "Yep, go ahead an get out." or "Not for at least 3 more days."

"What's for lunch?" ... "Pickled Elephant."

"Why is her name Paige?"... "Because the sorcerer said that everyone who is 14.5 feet tall has to be named Paige."

"Why are you wearing red?"... "I'm not. I'm wearing leopard print, but the leopard got hungry."

When the inevitable "But moooooo-oooooom..." or objection happens... "Ask a silly question; get a silly answer." :)

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

She's probably just trying to start a conversation or be involved in adult talk, but not sure how to approach it. Maybe a little lesson on that would be helpful.

Also, ignore the questions, respond back to talk to her by starting a conversation:

"Why are you wearing a red sweater?"
"Do you think it looks nice? I couldn't decide between red or blue, which would you have chosen? Why are you wearing that green shirt?"

"What are we eating for lunch?
"What do you think would go good with this macaroni... fishsticks, carrots, peaches? You decide and we'll make it."

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hmm...perhaps she's trying to be the "baby" in your house?

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Oh my gosh that would be really annoying!!! While I try to encourage asking questions, this is way over the top.

I'd love to hear the answers. LOL you poor thing!!!

I would just look at her and smile. I would say "you and I both know you know the answer to that." Or "you are so smart. I know you can figure it out without my help." and then walk away....

Good luck!!!!

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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

Seem like one of two things to me (1) She is just trying to make small talk, wants to be in the loop of everything and that's the only way she knows how to do it OR (2) she is being sarcastic because there is monotony in her life and she probably thinks it is boring, so she asks the obvious. It would be like there is no surprise for her because you go to the same store, same library week after week, etc. In the case of the macaroni, it is not because it is not obvious to both of you (because she did answer you with the right answer), but she is probably looking for you to maybe engage her by saying more - such as "yes, we are going to have macaroni, and maybe some chicken to go with it. What else do you think we can add to that? If she is being sarcastic, then ignore her questions and say "I would prefer not to answer than now, because you know the routine!"

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K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

I know how you feel , my daughter asks those kind of questions all day long aswell , she also asks Q's about a movie she is watching and has seen a million times (like sleeping beauty) , "why is sleeping beauty crying" . She knows why she is crying , if I say "I don't know" she says "it's because she's not allowed to see prince Phillip again". So she knows why but asks anyway. My daughter is 5 (not sure that makes a difference) , but is wears you out , I feel drained by the end of the day from all the Q's. I do not know what to do about it , hopefully one day it will stop!!

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

I feel your pain. My stepson did the exact same thing at that age and it went on for years - asked questions all the time that we could not or did not really have to answer, things he was perfectly capable figuring out for himself. We did the same thing, just asked him, "what do you think?". Honestly, it was just a phase that he eventually matured out of but drove us nuts in the meanwhile. Once I said something to him about all the silly questions he kept bugging us with and his response was that he was a kid and he was supposed to ask questions. *Sigh*

He also went through a phase where he was obsessed with time - he needed to know what time dinner would be or what time we would reach our destination if we were driving somewhere, or how many minutes it would take. Or he would ask what time something would happen, we would tell him, and then he would ask, "So that's in X minutes?". We had to start telling him approximate times, and sometimes just saying, "I don't know." or "We'll get there when we get there."

The other thing was he would ask something, we would give an answer, and then he would say, "Oh really?" or "It is?" so we ended up answering more than once. "YES!"

Personally I think it was all about attention - he has a brother a year older that was never like that and he probably did these things to get more attention focused on him. He's finally outgrown it (thank God!). Sorry I don't have any great solutions but maybe trying to give her attention at other times will help. And keep asking her to figure it out for herself. Or ask her why she needs to know. Or say "Just because." or "No reason." Or ignoring it. Or telling her she has a 3 question limit per day. Or you are just not going to answer any questions that she should already know the answer to.

EDITED TO ADD: Read the other responses - love Riley J.'s approach!

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I have one of those. This last week it's been "what's your favorite Star Wars Character"
If you were in Hogwarts whose wand would you use? And on and on
I usually just ignore those and talk about other things.
Eventually they outgrow it.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Do you think she's just striking up a conversation b/c she wants to talk to you?

Have you tried continuing the ignoring into day 2...3...4?

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

does she have 'conversations' or just asks questions???
Try teaching her to have 'conversations' and conversational skills.... real handy, even for a child... great skill to have.... some adults can't even do that! LOL

that's what I do with my kids....

But yes, I do the silly answers to silly questions too... some days... that's all I have the brain power for....

all the best,
Susan

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