ANOTHER Shower?

I don't know if this is a situation where my suggestion would be helpful, but I was given a shower for one of my children where the hostess asked everyone to bring a freezable meal instead of a gift. We really didn't need any baby things at that point, but the food was a tremendous help (and also a lot of fun to sample over the next couple of weeks). It was nice to not have to really cook while recovering from giving birth.

If you don't want a baby shower, maybe a nice "greet the baby" party after it's born would be more fun.

For my friends, if it's a 2nd or more baby, we generally do a diaper shower, so she has plenty, since that's what she needs most.

Personally, I would decline the offer to have a shower thrown for my third baby in under 4 years.

And yes, all babies deserve to be celebrated and acknowledged--but let people do that on their own, not by a shower invitation.

Even babies that do not get a shower are celebrated and welcomed!

I think you have the right idea! It's nice that your family and friends aren't assuming you need nothing. But let them know you'd rather just have a get-together for fun. It will still honor you and your baby, and it will take a lot less work for the hosts.

If gift-giving seems to be really important to these people, maybe you could tell them know that although you have almost everything else, you wouldn't mind being inundated with diapers of all sizes. I wonder how a party room could be decorated with diapers....

(Side note: a friend and I went to a wedding shower several months ago and looked at the beautiful kitchen things the bride and groom received, and talked about how everything we got from our weddings umpteen years ago has worn out... and decided that there should be twenty-fifth- anniversary showers! But we were just joking around.)

I think that would be fine and wonderful. I have 5 kids and a baby shower for each one.

In our family, every baby gets a shower. But the NEEDS of each family are different. Some need everything, some need very little. One buys according to needs.

A young family just starting out and broke might need everything.

A wealthy family with multiple kids might not "need" anything, so that's photo albums, artwork, girls&boys nights, books, big sister T's, trips to the zoo/afternoon off, a day to sleep in, etc. "Extras" & "Sanity Savers"

Most people are more 'in the middle'... where $500 worth of diapers IS appreciated, regardless of if it's their first or tenth child. (10 people all spending $50 on diapers is a HUGE relief to many families)

I believe that all babies deserve to be welcomed into the world.

You had a girl a year ago - now you are having a boy....

I would say THANK YOU - a SMALL one - and just let her know that you are VERY MUCH APPRECIATIVE of her doing this!!!

CONGRATS & GOOD LUCK!!

Yes. Have One. Maybe make it a themed party:
1. Scrapbook - ask each person to make a scrapbook page and bring it. And no other gifts.
2. Quilt - ask each person to bring a fabric square and no gifts. And then make a quilt.
3. Journal - ask each person to write a welcome letter. and no gifts. Bind it into a keepsake journal.
Or have games and a raffle. Ask them to bring a pack of diapers to enter the raffle. And no other gifts. And just have fun.
Or simply have it, but just register for small things that you actually need. Register for diapers, formula, bibs, etc.
Enjoy and congrats!

I am having my third and my mom and MIL are throwing me a small shower with just close friends and family. My church is throwing one bc they do that for all mothers at church. So I am actually having two!! At church they ask what you want and I just said diapers! I didn't register or anything. For the one with my close girlfriends and family, I am not registering or mentioning gifts, it is just a small get together to welcome the new addition. So if you feel more comfortable just ask her to keep it small or you can suggest a diaper shower. Then your friends can come and enjoy celebrating your little one bring some diapers and your third wills see pics from their baby shower in the future ;) I am happy I am getting one, just for the photos! I know my first loves his baby shower pics ;)

keep it super small and much less formal, but only if you have good relations with the guests and are pretty sure that they wouldn't feel put on the spot. Congrats!!

You'll probably get gifts from close friends and family anyway, so why not have a small shower with them? Besides, who doesn't love buying tiny baby things? :)

Go ahead and let her throw you a small simple party. Dont register for stuff and let her know to tell the guests that gifts are not needed. Just a nice visit maybe after the baby is born for them to see the new little one and enjoy some refreshments. Some will bring gifts anyway but it at least lets them know you have what you need but want to celebrate the baby and share the occasion with them. The wording on the invite can reflect that too. Congratulations.

My in-laws took me out to lunch and then we did some shopping afterwards for my third. It was nice. Maybe do something like that.

I always felt that way, too. I was given showers for all 6 of my children. When I would protest the idea, the hostess-to-be would object to my protest. One was a nice lunch with some close lady friends, and a few gifts. It was perfect. I love it that my friends have seen each of my babies as special in their own right, wanting to give them something special just for them. They wanted them to have something other than hand-me-downs. :) Sweet. Enjoy the love they want to show your baby.

there's absolutely nothing wrong with telling her, "i really appreciate it, but to be honest we are in really good shape, and i don't want people to think i am asking for gifts." then suggest either an informal brunch or maybe like a diaper shower. be honest. your intentions are good. no one will be offended if you are up front about it. i agree that a big blowout with tons of gifts is a little inappropriate.

Personally I think more than one shower does seem greedy. I had my kids 4 years apart too, and different sexes. I had friends offer to have a shower for me. I said no thanks. I had everything I needed. I appreciated them thinking about me, but just felt awkward about inviting the same people basically asking for another gift. My close friends got me cute outfits or whatever when they came over to see the baby after she was born. Just my 2 cents.

I would accept and mention that you really only need things like diapers and bottles etc. And also as you suggested make it a very small affair.

I would have a "light baby sprinkle" instead of a shower. It can be more of a celebration/ party instead of people buying large or expensive gifts. You can even have a co-ed bbq with your friends and the husbands.

Well, you didn't have a shower with these same people in your hubby's family for baby #2. I'm still old fashioned in thinking a shower is really for a first baby, to shower mom with her essentials. I think it's fine to decline and let your "hostess" know that while a celebration is lovely, you feel it's not appropriate to ask for gifts again. Maybe she could make you a diaper shower if you use disposables, or perhaps rather than a shower, she would look into a blessingway type celebration.

My pastor's wife when having her 5th child really didn't want a shower, but some of her friends insisted. So she asked that gifts be only diapers or Target gift cards, which she donated to a group helping teen moms in our area. Basically we all got together, ate, (no games, she doesn't care for them, lol) talked about babies and had a great time.

I'd let the family member who called know you really don't want or need one, and thank them for their thoughtfulness and concern.

And, CONGRATS!!

What about doing a shower AFTER the baby is born? And don't have people bring gifts, just have them come and meet the baby?? I agree that many showers is too much, but you seem to already think that. I had one with my first, not my second, and a surprise one with my 3rd. My neighbor has had two kids and is very prego with her SEVENTH since I moved here 3 years ago. She had two showers for each baby she had while we lived here. Luckily we don't get along so I didn't have to go or give anything :).

I think it would be fine to accept her offer and let her know that you really don't need any gifts and are uncomfortable with people feeling obligated. That if people "insist" then she could suggest that diapers will always be used, but really, you said outright that gifts are not expected. Let it be just a fun lunch with friends, since you expect to be so busy after that it might be awhile before you are back in the world of adults, lol.

I come from a community that virtually expects showers for each child, even if it's your 7th or 12th. :) It's perfectly OK to suggest that only consumables (diapers, wipes, lotion, baby bath etc.) be purchased. It's also OK, if you and/or your friends are crafty, to have a shower in which everyone helps hand tie a quilt. The hostess usually binds it afterward and delivers it to the mom and/or baby.

Congratulations! :)

Maybe shower is the wrong word, but why not have a celebration? I had a shower with my first and I didn't want a shower for my second. My best friend insisted we still celebrate because it's joyous no matter how many times you go through it. We ended up going to a restaurant with about 15 people and each paid their own way and pitched in one extra dollar for my food. I had an amazing time and was so glad that my friends did that for me. They surprised me with a Baby's R Us gift card too (not saying you should ask for that one), but there were no games and no gifts to open. It was perfect, simple and so appreciated. I think you should just tell your family member that you don't want a traditional shower at all, but you wouldn't mind having a get together to celebrate. Congrats to you!

I would hate to be invited to a shower that has multiple kids & several showers for them I would not go,the firt shower great i'll go & participate after that you should of kept your things or buy them again for your other children you have.I would be the one to say ANOTHER showere how many does a person need she has young kids no I will not go so please don't bother with the invite.If it were me I would so deny having one,yes I would be the sister ot SIL to talk in front of your face & behind your back on this.Sorry if I seem harsh but really you have had many showers this is your 3rd baby & your babies are still young that you don't need but the clothing & diapers

I don't blame you for feeling this way. I don't like people making a big deal over me, or spending money on me in the first place. I think you should just be honest with her. Tell her you really appreciate her offer, and that you just don't feel you need an all out shower, but if she wants to put something simple & casual together, and requesting diapers, you would love that.

That's very generous! Usually a subsequent shower is thrown in a case where years have passed since the last child has been born. That's said it is not wrong by any means to do this differently. I think it's okay to accept.

Ever thought about a mother's blessing/blessingway? Its a way of celebrating the mother, and can be a very meaningful and fun get-together. Ask her to do that instead. Or go with the sprinkle idea and ask that no gifts be given unless you would like diapers to be included.

If you do have another one request it to be a diaper shower! :)

Definitely decline but suggest that if she'd like, you'd love some help organizing a "meet the baby" get together after the baby is born. In our family that's normally accomplished with a party after the baptism but if you don't do any sort of religious service when your kids are born you can just have an open house and I bet with 3 kids under 4 it would be a treat to have someone else take over the hosting duties.

To me it sounds like a little much. My cousin had two showers for her first (and only right now) child. One thrown by her mom and one by her MIL. since I am one of her best friends I was invited to both. She is very non-materialistic, and knows I am on a tight budget and did not expect me to get her a gift for both showers, but seeing as we are so close I felt obligated to anyway. (she also had two showers for her wedding too! the year before) the thing is even if you don't expect gifts people might feel they need to get you something anyway. Personally I think that the idea that you have other kids means you dont need knew things for your new baby is dumb. I have a two year old, and yeah we will be able to reuse his crib and his carseat and infant seat, but that is about it. My next child (who is a girl) is going to be a winter baby, so we really can't reuse any of his clothes (since he was an august baby) he is still using his crib matress (since he has a toddler bed) and of course we cant reuse his diapers lol, but still having another event when you already have had so many might seem a little much to people, though I can understand trying to talk someone out of something once they get the idea in their head can be hard. Good luck, and congrats on the new little one.

Do it!....make it small and register for only small things, or dont register at all and people will mostly buy stuff they want to give not feel forced into.

Im totally having a third shower with this baby, AND a diaper party for the men.

Im only going to register for a few items, not expensive. Even though i gave away all my baby stuff and will need it all again my list is MUCH smaller.

If you have something before the baby is born, everyone will still feel compelled to give you a gift when they visit the new baby for the first time.

So that's two gifts.. and as it's the third child, it does seem a lot to ask people. I don't know anyone who has had a baby shower after the first one. I do like the idea of a diaper only gathering -- or a meet the baby party after the baby is born (if you feel OK having a crowd in your house at that time -- which you may not). But the party plannners can't pretend "if anyone wants to bring a gift, they'll suggest diapers" -- as everyone will absolutely buy a gift (what else do you do on such an occasion) and all may not ask for suggestions. So you need to put "Gift of diapers only". Even then, people will feel stingy if they just get you one pack. So then they will have to get you enough to feel like it's the equivalent of a gift. And then it doesn't really matter what they are buying you, if they are shelling out the same bucks as a regular shower.

Don't know why their insisting on doing this despite how you feel about it. And if they are ready to have it whether you're there or not, it really seems just about the gifts.

I still think it's OK to say no, if not -- I'd explicitly say on the invite "Diapers only for gifts -- and maybe limit the amount of packages.

I think what has been suggested (consumables like diapers, lotion etc.) or a meals ready to eat plan like Heathly Creations or Dream Dinners is a good idea. Also just a celebration of friends and family.

Personally, I felt deprived because my husband (in his fifties, his first marriage, his first and only child - no other children, also my first and only child) would not let me have a baby shower when I gave birth to our son in 2006 (and no wedding gifts in 2002). He said if I wanted something I should buy it myself, not expect others to spend money on me since I am in my forties, and already have everything I would need.

That created a panic in me just weeks before my son's due date, as I did not have anything ready, did not really know what and how much I needed, and did not know any other moms (I had been working professionally 15 years all my life since university, and did not have any mom friends - now I have only mom friends - a community I built with the birth of my only child and stopping working full-time).

Coming from a European country where baby showers are not given (did you know this is an American thing?) and family provides help nearby, I had agreed to my husband's demand not to have any shower, but I felt that I missed out. My husband is American, raised upper middle class, but in his fifties.

Please enjoy the celebration for your new baby! Any reason to get together with friends and family is a good one in my humble opinion.

Just my personal opinion, if I had a shower only one year ago, there is no way I'd be comfortable having another shower this soon. My oldest daugher is 7. I had ONE shower before she was born. My son is about to turn 3, and instead of a shower, 5 of my closest friends took me out to a nice dinner before he was born. The same five friends are taking me out to dinner again to celebrate the arrival of my third baby...due in October.

This may be a moot point as your post is over a week old now, but my first thought when I read this post was that maybe on the invitation they could put - in lieu of a baby gift, we are collecting donations to the local womens' shelter. Imagine what the women in that shelter would think if they knew we were posting about NOT wanting yet another opportunity to receive brand new things for our babies.

I thought people only had them for the first baby, I am pregnant now with #2 and was surprised that people were wanting to give me another one also, especially since we really dont need anything :)

I think putting on invitations, "no gifts please, we just want to join together to celebrate this new little life"... In our church small group, we do a "gifted" shower for first babies and "no-gifts" showers/parties for subsequent births. It is wonderful that she wants to celebrate you. :) And yeah, if someone is just insistent upon a gift, have her suggest diapers.

I had a diaper party. I didn't need to buy any diapers for almost 5 months!!!

Why don't you have a "meet the baby" party after the baby is born. Another shower sounds like too much.

I guess I see showers (or sprinkles or celebrations...) as more about getting together and having fun because a new baby is soon to arrive. To me, it's really not about the gifts at all but the couple of hours we get to stop and just celebrate. I am certainly not offended by people who have a shower for each child :) it's nice to celebrate babies; esp because most of them make it clear that they don't really want presents....Actually, i don;t really like wedding showers b/c those often are about the gifts, BIG gifts. but i love baby showers :)

so we've done book showers (everyone brings a favorite book with an inscription to the little one), freezer ready meal showers, scrapbook showers, diaper and wipes showers, a fun lunch and a joint gift card showers, etc If other people want to celebrate the baby and it is not a big shindig which would make be uncomfortable-- i'd say yes and just have fun.