Baby Shower with Second Baby??? Right/Wrong?

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for people who love showers, i suppose it's not the end of the world. but why so many responses from folks who believe that babies aren't 'celebrated' if there's no shower? there are SO many other (and better) ways to celebrate babies.
khairete
S.

OMG! I can't believe some of the answers I am reading! Since when is a baby shower ever WRONG? My goodness, if someone wants to throw you a baby shower, by all means, let them. I wouldn't think twice about attending a shower and bringing a gift to any mother, regardless of whether it's her first or fifth. I don't go through the registry looking for what they need; I know what necessities I need, and that's the type of gift I'd bring. That and a dish that's easy to make, maybe a couple of recipes, and an offer to come by and clean the kitchen or cook her a meal sometime... It's hard to believe that something as innocent and kind as a baby shower could be construed as a petty little get-together that's been poo-poo'd by so-called 'experts' in the field of baby showers. Please.

G., you go girl! If I could, I would throw every one of my girlfriends a baby shower with every baby! Enjoy whatever you get, be it a 'sprinkle' or 'diaper shower' or what-have-you. Life's too short not to celebrate new life. Have fun and I hope you get some useful gifts! *smile*

I'm a believer in only one shower, no matter the gender. The friends who would come to the second shower are probably good friends- people who will, no doubt, be coming to visit the new baby and bring a gift to welcome him/her. After getting gifts from these people for the first shower, then maybe when that baby arrived, then when this baby arrives, I'd feel embarrassed having yet another gift-giving occasion when they feel the need to bring something. If it were me, and someone wanted to give me a second shower, I'd thank them profusely and tell the host, as well as contact each invitee, to let them know that under no circumstance should they bring a gift. This "shower" is just to enjoy each other's company!

I think it is SO tacky to have a shower with your 2nd child- unless there is a huge gap between your first and your 2nd- regardless of the gender. I have two girls, and even before I knew the gender of my 2nd baby, I refused to let anybody throw me a shower for the 2nd.

It depends on your location & social status & culture. In some regions/ strata/ cultures it's a major no-no, in others it's an 'of course'! So you'll always be rude if you do and rude if you don't in SOME people's eyes. I'd suggest doing what makes you happy.

If someone else wants to give you a shower, there is no reason to say no.
If you want a get together to celebrate the new baby, there is no reason not to.
I really never understood the whole thing about only being able to have ONE baby shower.... for your FIRST baby. ONLY.
All children should be celebrated and it doesn't have to be about gifts.
My kids were different sexes and 10 years apart. Should I not have celebrated that?
Gifts didn't enter into any of it. We wanted to share with people who loved us and supported us.
We didn't call it a shower.

There is always call for celebration, in my opinion.

Best wishes.

I live in North Carolina, and it is actually expected to have a shower with every child you have. I am currently expecting number 2 and know that I will have at least one shower, if not two. People down here love any excuse to get together, and they love showers!

Anyways...I won't be registering for anything (even though my first and second will be 5 years apart), and will just ask for diapers, wipes, the basics. If we are lucky enough to have a girl this time, then I'm sure I will get some girly basics, but I won't ask for any of that. Hope this helps and good luck!

Every baby is special and deserves to be celebrated!! :)

Well I agree that every baby should be celebrated, I'm not a fan of 2nd baby showers. Many people witll give the baby a gift once he/she arrives. A small get together with close friends or with immediate family members is a good idea.

There are different camps on this, but I am FIRMLY in the one shower camp unless there is a specific reason. Having a different-gendered second child is not a good enough reason - you will still use the same crib, pack-and-play, swing, stroller, car seat etc. so presumably you can buy your own clothes and diapers, and people will give those things after the baby is born anyway.

I did have a shower for my second son, but he was 6 years younger than my first, I was single with my first, and the guest list for the second (with the exception of my mom and sisters) was totally different from the first. My first was small and last minute and kind of hush-hush (oh the SHAME of single motherhood lol), the second was for my new in-laws and friends who weren't there the first time around. So a situation like that, where you've got a whole 'nother guest list and want to let the in-laws celebrate their new baby is OK I think.

I also think that second showers are OK for twins or when there is a big gap between children and the parents have already passed along all of their baby stuff.

While there are those who say that all babies should be celebrated, a shower celebrate and benefits the parents, not the baby. Of course I think that all babies are worth celebrating, but in my family we take care of that with a Christening. For families that don't do a formal religious thing, hosting a welcome baby party after the baby is born is a nice way to celebrate the birth and let everyone meet the baby, and most guests would bring a little gift to that anyway.

Ummmm...no. Not appropriate. Showers are for "new" parents who have nothing on-hand for a baby. Hosting a "meet the baby" party after the baby gets home. Friends will still get the baby gender-appropriate gifts.

In a word...wrong. That certainly doesn't mean to not celebrate the new baby with a diaper shower or friends luncheon with little outfits and cake!

If someone wants to have one and someone wants to go and someone wants to receive those gifts-then I say WHY NOT? Actually, some people had a shower for me for my second baby. I was thrilled. My older one was five years older.

I think it depends on how you do it. If you throw yourself a shower and expect tons of gifts etc. then that's a little tacky. But it you're throwing a party to celebrate that there will soon be a new arrival in your family, that people might bring gifts to but aren't expected to, that's totally different. You should have a blessingway. Those are so beautiful and so much fun.

I have never been to a baby shower for the second baby. No one I know has ever mentioned going to a baby shower for the second baby.

My dds are 5 1/2 years apart and nobody offered to have a shower when I was pregnant with her.

Showers are traditonally thrown for the first baby because the new parents pretty much don't have anything. But you can do whatever you want; just be prepared for some mixed feelings from some of your invitees. I like the idea of having everyone over after the baby is born, maybe in the 3rd month.

Absolutely not WRONG! I love being able to celebrate with a friend the joy of their child. I think that true friends are not put off by this at all but instead want to celebrate with you. If people think it is inappropriate they can graciously decline an invitation-we are adults. Also-as parents we go through different seasons in our lives where the friends we had when pregnant with a first child might be different than friends that you now have. I don't think that you need to define what gifts a person should give either-let people give from the heart-you may be surprised at how thoughtful and creative people are.

I think each baby should be celebrated but the second baby won't need a full blown shower, so just a baby "sprinkle". Clothes, blankets, stuff like that if it's a second baby of a different gender...or just diapers and a few new special items for the same gender.

Are the babies really close in age? If you are having a different gender I think it's fine (just asking for clothes, etc. I wouldn't really ask for things like a swing or bouncer unless your kids are a few years apart) We didn't really have one for our son (who is nearly 4 years younger than my daughter) but I know we could have. Hope that helps a little, congratulations!

I had a shower with both of mine...my first pregnancy actually had 4 (!) showers and I got bigger gifts than the second. I initially turned down the offer for the second one, but my family wanted to do one. They idea for the second was to bring a frozen dish for after the baby comes...which was a great idea and saved me from almost 2 weeks of wondering what to do about dinner. People who didn't want to cook brought a grocery store gift card or diapers. I don't think it's tacky at all if the shower is thrown by someone else...if you need stuff, a shower is a great way to get it, but if you don't need baby things I would shy away from a registry...you can always edit the guest list to be folks who wouldn't be offended by a second shower and let everyone else give a gift after the baby comes if they are so inclined.

I think it is very, very tacky.

EVERY BABY SHOULD BE CELEBRATED! and the moms too for that matter! I had three and the were all beautiful!

I think it depends on how long ago you had your first. My friend just had a baby and we had a shower for her because her first is 5 so she had no baby stuff left.

I would suggest a diaper shower if you are having same sex or had your first with in the past 2 years. Or you could always have a welcome baby party a few weeks after you have the baby.

Congrats on #2

I don't think there is a right or wrong when it comes to showers. If you think it's over the top, just RSVP regrets.

I thought it was odd when my friends wanted to throw me a shower for my second baby, it was something I had never heard of before. That being said, it was WONDERFUL. Lots of "girly" things as my first was a boy, diapers, essentials. Etc. I didn't do anything like register or anything, but it was so fun and really helpful.

I think if you want to have a second shower for someone then you should do it! If you know the gender of the baby is different from the first and it is OK to let people know, then you could theme it around that. Do worry about what is right or wrong. Do what you feel. Life is way too short!

When I found out my second one was a girl I opted not to make a big deal out of having a second baby shower since I still had all the stuff from my first and didn't need anything additional. I didn't even register for anything. One of my friends wanted to throw me a shower and I didn't sa no but I did mention that I wasn't going to register because I didn't need anything and she put that on the invitations. I got mostly stuff I would need regardless - diapers, baby shampoo/lotion, nursing supplies, some clothes. It was nice. Some of my friends even commented that it was nice not to have to worry about fulfilling a registry..

I didn't want a second shower with my second baby, but my awesome cousin wanted to have a "sprinkle" as we called it. Just about 10 of us (close family and friends), we had brunch in the backyard and did some gifts. It was perfect, wish I went that low key with my original shower. I most say that I think the reason we did this was because I was separated from my husband at the time....I think folks were trying to cheer me up, otherwise I probably wouldn't of had a second shower.

Updated

I didn't want a second shower with my second baby, but my awesome cousin wanted to have a "sprinkle" as we called it. Just about 10 of us (close family and friends), we had brunch in the backyard and did some gifts. It was perfect, wish I went that low key with my original shower. I most say that I think the reason we did this was because I was separated from my husband at the time....I think folks were trying to cheer me up, otherwise I probably wouldn't of had a second shower.

I had an "all out" shower for my first- a boy. I also had a shower thrown for me for my second baby (a girl) with mostly family. I only invited my very closest friends to the second shower. I have been to second showers for many of my friends. I don't mind, and I don't think it's rude.
The second shower was much more low key, and was great to have my whole family together in one place, which was is so rare. I just wish we had more babies in the family!

I think if people want to throw you a shower then let them

We are military so we get rid of all the baby things each move (7 moves in the last 7 years... and 3 kids under the age of 5.) We always get a shower and hold a shower for every kid we know about in our military circle as we always need that stuff again.

If your friends/family want to give you a shower accept and say thanks!

I have a 3 yr old boy & a 1 yr old girl. My first, I did have a shower. My second, I did not have a shower & regret it. I was told that it was tacky to have a shower with them being so close in age. So, I didn't have a shower. I had a couple of people who wanted to throw me a shower but I said no. Now I regret it b/c I have nothing in her baby book about a shower & I'm feeling like I didn't celebrate something special.

My family and friends held a huge shower with my 1st daughter and a "Baby Sprinkle" with my 2nd daughter. The Sprinkle was held after my daughter was born because we really wanted our out of town family to not only attend the shower but have the opportunity to meet our newborn. Our girls are four years apart and even though I saved everything for a second child we could always use bath and diapering supplies and of course the handprint/footprint molds and all cutesy stuff for each child. I'm sure if it had been a boy my family would have held another huge shower for clothing as well.

Go for it! If that is what you want. There is nothing wrong with having another one. They are lots of fun.

I guess it just depends. How close was your 1st baby? I had a shower for my first, my second was less than 2 years later and no shower, but baby 3 was 6 years after that and I had a shower. I didn't ask for any of the showers, so if friends think you need one, they will approach you with doing a shower. I've heard of having a viewing...after the baby is born, invite others to come visit and see the baby all at one time. Another idea is to remember if someone throws you a shower, you probably won't invite as many people to it as you did your first. I don't think it's wrong. I've actually been to many 2nd baby showers, but the gifts are usually more specific to the gender and/or practicle/smaller items than the 1st.

There is no right or wrong on this. I have had three baby showers. The same friend has graciously offered each time. I assume she has done this because she wants to celebrate with me my new life I am bringing into this world with our friends. I think she also realizes that because of the age space between my children, I need 'things' to get started over again.

By the way, my showers have always been well attended. If there was a growing resentment, I am sure that individuals would not come. But then again, my friend throws a great gathering. :)

Go celebrate that baby. People will give what they think is appropriate and will come if they can and if they think they want to be there.

Congratulations on that baby!

If someone throws you a shower, then COOL!!! But I wouldnt throw it for myself or ask anyone to do it. I dont think its necessary to have a shower for a diff gender, my 1st was a girl and 2nd was a boy. I already had all the major stuff, so all I really needed was clothes, which my sister gave me a bunch from her boys. And of course when people came to visit my baby boy, they brought him clothes. Like I said, if you throw your own shower, or expect someone to do it, I think its tacky.

I think it would be okay. It's up to that person really...

we had showers for all our kids, though the first was a huge deal and the following ones were small, family, at the house kind of thing. it was nice :) more about good wishes and happiness than the gifts. do whatever floats your boat, youll never make everyone happy.... and anyone who is gonna have something to say about celebrating a new baby (who "counts" just as much as the first baby) isnt really someone that you need to worry about what they think anyway, yes? if it really bugs you, make it a "no gifts please" party, or donations to _______ in place of gifts or something nice like that.

We had a baby shower for a lady at church and invited over 30 people. She had something like 4 or 5 boys and they were not very well off. But they really wanted a girl and this last baby was going to be a girl. So we planned a really fun baby shower for her so she'd have lots of new girly stuff. Only the two of us hosing and one other person showed up. when we asked everyone why they didn't come they said it was not proper to have a baby shower for additional babies.

I just thought that was sad. I could not wrap my head around that. I think if you get firm RSVP's then go for it. If everyone seems to be undecided then perhaps a different type of celebration is needed. A welcome home baby party or something else.

it's not a faux pas to have another one - besides, YOU don't throw it for yourself! if someone wants to throw you one why refuse? i do think that a different gender is a good enough reason - most pack n plays, carseats, etc, are color-coded pink or blue, these days. of course if you don't need them because yours are gender neutral, don't register for them. i don't think people will think badly of you. just don't be greedy with your registry, people can tell if you are asking for practical things that you need, or just junk. (i once bought for a couple's wedding registry - they had PAGES of video games and gaming systems on their registry, oh and movies. i thought it was super tacky. they had been living together for quite some time and apparently didn't really "need" anything)

If the gender is different a full blown baby shower is appropriate.

Don't think there is a right or wrong. Guess it depends if the mom that is expecting, is comfortable with one and if her friends\ family want to celebrate another one. In some cultures, it's more accepted than others. My husbands family only throw showers for the first baby. My family likes to celebrate with a baby shower for every single one, even if it's your sixth baby. Dosent bother me either way. I had my baby shower with my first ( by my MIL) and didn't expect a second one, but I took a trip while pregnant with my second to visit my family, and my family threw me a surprise baby shower. Both were very fun and different!

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I had a baby shower with my first (boy) and the last (another boy). The last was a surprise baby and I had already given away all my baby stuff.
With my second a very nice lady at church offered to throw and shower and I declined even though the second was a girl. We had already been given a lot of stuff, but I wish I hadn't said no. What I failed to realize at the time was that this was an opportunity for others to celebrate the baby. It may have been more appropriate to have a "meet the new baby" shower/party after she was born.
As someone else already stated, every baby should be celebrated.

Personally, I find it a little tacky unless there is a big gap between the first and second. I have a 3 year old daughter and 17 month old son. When I registered for my baby shower for my daughter I made sure I selected neutral colors for all the large items in case the 2nd was a boy. Most people will send an outfit or two when the baby is born and close family members will probably give even more. If you still have all your basics from your first you shouldn't need much more even if the baby is the opposite sex. Congrats and I'm sure you will do what is right for you!

Go at it! Have fun! It's a different gender so it's all new! Best wishes and God bless!

It depends. Did you have a girl/boy for the first and is the second the opposite gender??? I don't see anything wrong with celebrating the birth of a baby but if you for example, had a girl the first time and you are having a girl the next time, what is really the point of getting gifts again that you probably saved from the first baby? Most moms save everything, especially when they know they will have more children. For me, I had a baby shower for my first born. I had a girl. I saved everything, knowing I was having more children. Then the second was a girl so it worked out that I didn't have to buy anything...and I never expected a shower the second time around anyway. Then the third baby came along but I didn't find out the gender until after he was born so since I had had all girl stuff from the two previous and then I had a boy, ladies from my church hosted a "meet the new baby" party and I got some much needed boy gifts. I was done with 3 children so I got rid of everything....but surprise, surprise, I am pregnant with the 4th (unplanned/unexpected) and we found out it's a girl so I am having a baby shower, hosted by my church, because I had gotten rid of everything.

So, I personally do not think it's totally appropriate to have a shower if you saved everything and can use if for the second baby...but if the second baby is the opposite gender, then I would say some sort of gathering is definitely appropriate. If anything, perhaps a "meet the baby" gathering and if you get gifts that is nice, but it wouldn't be totally expected from the people who attend. I think most people wouldn't show up empty handed either way.

I so think you should have another one. In fact, I think I will have it for you...HEE HEE!

My coworkers surprised me with a babyshower at work. It was such a surprise... The giftcard they bought was used to get the infant carseat (since the one we used for our first was a hand-me-down and would've been over 5 years old if saved). There's always something you need for a new baby.

However, I think it's tacky how some people use baby showers and baby's 1st birthdays to get more and more material stuff. If it's not your intention, that one thing. But to focus on a shower as a potential cash cow is icky.

I did however throw our 1st born daughter a 'Big Sister Party'. The invitations specified gifts were not expected but we still got both baby and big sister presents. I didn't intend the party to be a gift-getting bonanza; we just wanted it to be a way for our eldest to feel special and had the focus on her for a day.

Second showers are tacky. There are other ways to celebrate a baby.

A shower is for new parents that have nothing for a baby. I also think it is tacky to have a shower for a second marriage. The couple (should) already have everything for a house. If a friend wanted to have a second shower for me, I would let her know I was honored she thought of it, but I would decline.

I have a friend that is having a second shower soon. Her and her hubby both have good jobs, so the baby is in no way a financial hardship for them. She called to confirm my address for the hostess the other day. I don't want to go, but I don't want to offend her. I think my son will be "sick" that day.

Totally ok to have 2nd baby shower whether its the same sex or not.

M

Absolutely. The idea that it is tacky is such bad advice.
The celebration is for the baby. If anything make it a theme. Like everyone bring favorite childhood books intstead of the "normal" first shower gifts. A diaper party. A scrapbook party, where everyone creates a scrapbook page coming together at the party. If you research the topic online you will get plenty of ideas.
Congratulations!

Who decides right and wrong? I had 4 babies- all boys and 4 baby showers. What do you put in the baby book under the baby shower section? Leave it blank? You don't throw yourself a baby shower anyway, someone throws it for you and your baby's honor. Yes, yes, yes...by all means accept a baby shower.

mmm... I think if someone is going to give a gift to a family for the birth of their baby, they'll do it whether there's a shower or not. First baby shower is typical because the family wont' have any baby stuff. subsequent.... I dont' think it's a good idea. People get invited to enough baby showers for FIRST babies, cant' imagine for 2nd and 3rd babies, etc.

If you REALLY want to do it, you could have a baby shower for the mom, but have guests bring items that will be donated to a local pregnancy shelter. It could be a way to get together to celebrate and also do good in the community!

My husband and i just had this discussion today. We are pregnant with our 3rd, a boy. Our other 2 are girls, so of course we need a lot. But we decided its not about the presents, more about getting together with friends and family to celebrate the birth of the baby! So we think its okay.

I am all for celebrating the birth of a new child. I had a full shower for my first and my fourth, which was 18 years later. What fun to celebrate a new life in our family :) I had sprinkles for my daughters who were born in between. To me, there is nothing better than a new baby, But if your family/friends does not feel that way, then don't have one :) To me, it is not about the gifts, it is about the celebration. I have had many showers for family members, and the whole focus is just on celebration of a new life, but not the "stuff" that comes along. What fun -- everyone gets dressed up for a fun meal, gives bits of advice to the new mom, and a little gift if they can do so, Meanwhile the new mom feels supported by her family. What can be better?