Another Potty Trainign Question!

Hi C., first of all twin girls, how fun. My first question to you is, what are the consequiences to your girls for NOT OBEYING YOU and using the potty? if there is no DISCIPLINE for DISOBEDIENCE then that would explain all the problems you are having with the potty training that you just explained. I am 51 and I have raised 3 kids, 2 boys and one girl, I used reward and discipline, my fist son I started him at 20 months old took him completely out of diapers, by 21 months he was potty trained, during that month I only had to discipline him one time. My second child also a son, wanted to wear big boy underwear like hi brother, he at 19 months wanted nothing to do with diapers cause his brother wasn't wearing diapers, so a little over 19 months my son was potty trained, my third child, my daughter, I was concerned aboutpersonal hygene with her being a girl. started her at 20 months, then we got orders to move to Japan do with all the details to that I put the potty traing on hold until we got to Japan, and she was potty trained by 22 months, if you put pull ups on them at night, your confussing them, it's OK to pee on your self if you are asleep but not when your awake? all 3 of my kids were dry in th mornings starting at around 17 months, my advice to you, is YOU be charge, be firm be consistant, and don't let disobedience go un punished. J.

I have potty trained only one child, so I am by no means an expert, but I followed the advice of others that have gone before me and it was a painless process. I'm thinking that maybe your girls are not ready yet. I know I had it in my head that you potty train at 2 years old, but my oldest was not ready at 2. I tried at about 2 1/2 because I thought FOR SURE he had to be ready by then - not so. I tried again at 2 years 9 mos when I felt he was really ready, (not when I thought he SHOULD be ready - that was months earlier). And he pretty much trained himself in one day. My sister said it was the same with her daughter, when it didn't work, she dropped it and tried again later. When her daughter was ready, it was no trouble at all. With my son, we kept him in a diaper at naptime and bedtime, we did not even address that, we just worked on daytime potty training. Just after he turned 3, I really felt he was ready for nightime potty training, so we told him "no more diapers" and put him in the big boy underwear at bedtime, too. Never had an accident at naptime, has only had 3 accidents overnight, but I would say he has done great, and it's been about 3 months. Now, I have heard that he is actually pretty young for nightime training, a lot of kids aren't ready for that until they are older. So don't think there is anything wrong with your girls if they just aren't ready. For daytime or nightime. I've also heard - stay away from pull-ups. Kids just think it is a diaper anyway; stick to underwear.
So I would suggest, separate the daytime from nightime and only work on one at a time. And possibly just wait a few months.

Just a couple of things here, seperate potty training and staying dry at night. Just work on the days, most kids can't/won't stay dry at night until ages 5-7. Some are very lucky and it happens at the same time but wetting at night does not mean a child isn't pottied train, heck I peed the bed in to my late teens! LOL

Second, don't ask if they need to go potty. Rather, you could say, OK girls, it's time to go to the bathroom and all march or dance to the potty. Or you could say, to give them some control, "which bathroom do you want to go in? Your bathroom or mine?" Since you have two you are teaching at the same time, "let's go to the bathroom, who is going first!?" etc... but tell, don't ask. Most kids will always say they don't have to go and minutes later oops, they've gone.

Lastly, watch their cues. You've got the pee pee down. The poop can and is usually easier since most kids poop around the same time each day at this age. So about 30 minutes after a meal or whenever they usually go, just say, OK! Time to go poo poo! Keep in mind, if they don't go right away, don't force it. No one can force a poop out if it isn't ready to come out. Try to set a poop routine, figure out the set times that they go, make sure they are comfy (feet on the floor or step stool, read or play soft music).

One more thing, a book that is worth reading is The No Cry Potty Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. This book gets us parents ready first and gives us the tools we need to have success.

It sounds like you are on the right path. My daughter didn't potty train until almost 4 and my son 3, they just weren't ready. You'll get some great advice here, you may be able to use some of it now or have to take a break. Either way, they'll get it soon, I'm sure!

Best wishes to you,
M.

While I wouldn't necessarily agree that not being potty-trained is a disobedience problem, I can tell you from experience (I have a 4 year-old girl who doesn't tell me when she has to go when we're outside the house) that it sometimes it helps to be firm. But not for everyone. I was so worried about making it a positive experience, I was such a pushover and now I've gone and messed everything up. Or maybe...she's still just not ready.
Anyway, with twins, that must be difficult and you should be commended for your hard work. I will give you this one tidbit though: Every kid is different and what worked for one may or may not work with another. My sister-in-law told me she had these problems with her little girl (while her sons did it in ONE DAY) for YEARS. After trying rewards and stars on the refrigerator and encouragement, when the child was five, my SIL gave her a spanking and VOILA! potty-trained child. The funny part was she is really not a spanker, but by this time, she was so frustrated that her child responded to none of her efforts, she finally tried it.
So don't give up and get frustrated because the advice you get may not work. Listen to your daughters. What are they telling you?

Good luck!

Ditto Amber! It sounds like the girls have mommy trained! LOL I would give it a break and wait until they are closer to three.

I think you need to lower your expectations a bit. My girl didn't pee train until the week before her third birthday. Now, 3 months later, she still doesn't poop in the potty and she needs a pull-up at nite because she sleeps hard.
When we lats saw our pediatrician, she said this was perfectly normal and she'd prgress when she was ready.
I know it must be hard with 3 little ones, but just try to breathe and know they won't go to elementary school in diapers.

Hi! I have two girls, five and two 1/2. I have barley started talking to my youngest about potty training, mostly because of how it went with my oldest. I tried and tried starting when she was two. It sounds just like your exsperience! And one day, right before her third birthday, she just woke up ready. She wanted to go on the potty and never wore a diaper again. I just don't think you can force it. AS MUCH AS WE WANT TO!! I know some kids that will potty train a 1 1/2 and others almost 4! My advice is keep trying but don't stress too much. They know what to do, and when they are ready, it will happen. GOOD LUCK!