We went to a neighborhood party and there was a little guy there that we had never met before. He was 3 1/2 my daughter is 4. They played beautifully together...right up until he bit her.
We got there around one and this happened around 6:30. He bit her hard enough to draw blood. So of course she screamed and cried for a while. I got her calmed down and tried to find out what happened, but all I could get was, "He bit me." Normally my daughter gets over things pretty quick but she wasn't about to let this thing go. So marched right over to this kid and said, "You bit me and made me cry." Then went over to her dad and told him the same thing. Then dissolved back into tears and wanted to go home. My husband was in the middle of a game, so I told him to give me the keys and I would walk her back.
She said bye to everyone, including the other little boy. I apologized to the mom, not for what happened, but I knew that my daughters theatrics were a bit over the top and that other mom was mortified. (I would have been too if my kid had bitten another) She just looked at me and said, "I'm glad she is, maybe that will teach him a lesson."
On the way home I asked her again what happened. I didn't see the actual incident. One minute they were playing with a ball and the next she was crying. She told me, "He bite the ball and then he bite me." So now, pieces were falling into place. The bite was on my daughters finger, right along her nail, which seemed weird. Usually when a kid goes to chomp you see vertical marks further down the finger. my daughters were horizontal on the edge of her nail. Hmmm. Now I wondering if they weren't play biting the ball and her finger got in the way. So I called my husband back (who was still there) and told him what she had said. At this point I was thinking it was probably an accident, the boys parents were pretty shocked that he bit, so I knew it was out of the norm.
My husband passed on the information and they thanked him.
I had given the mom (whom I also meet for the first time and got along with very well), my number and we talked about getting the kids together for a play date. We live close and she is also a stay at home mom. I didn't get hers because she was feeding her baby at the time. The kids really had played wonderfully together before the biting took place. Even running around with their arms around each other saying, "This is my BEST friend."
Now I wonder if this lady will call me because she was embarrassed about what happened. Would you call someone after your kid bit theirs for a play date? Especially after the dramatics? Or would you secretly hope to never see them again?
I forgot to add, I did tell my daughter that she didn't do anything wrong. That no one has the right to bite her for any reason. I just re-read this and realized it sounded like I was just telling her to get over it. That's not what happened at all. :)
Jo, actually the dramatics was unusual for my daughter. In fact this kid had tossed something at her and clocked her in the face (also an accident, they were playing catch) she cried for a minute, because it hurt, then it was over. Same thing when they ran into each other (both cried on that one). One minute of tears, then it was over. I'm thinking the dramatics were more related to the fact that they had played for 5 hours and she was tired. ETA to your ETA (lol) I didn't know at the time when I was telling her that. It took a while to get that out of her, because she was upset. She is only four so she didn't understand that he got her by accident. The biting of the ball and the biting of the finger were two separate incidents in her mind. It was only me piecing the clues together that I got the whole story out, by then we were gone and at home.
I think she'll call. No worries.
This is normal little kid stuff. Lots of times we NEVER find our what REALLY happened!
He's not evil.
Your daughter was most likely shocked/surprised by the bite pain.
Likely they were both getting tired & cranky, hence his fervor and her dramatics. It happens. Doesn't mean she's forever a Drama Queen.
It sounds like it was just an accident.
And, btw, "bite the ball" sounds like a fairly gross game!
I wouldn't call but not because I was embarrassed about the accident. I wouldn't call because I would be in fear as to what other accidents may cause over the top drama.
I can't stand overly dramatic kids.
I am not saying you did anything wrong. I am impressed you called her to tell her you think it was an accident. It is just I have four kids, I know how many accidents can happen and the thought of getting theatrics every time would cause me to run and never look back.
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After reading your what happened, why didn't it occur to you to explain to her he didn't bite her, he bit the ball, her finger got in the way. If she doesn't learn to differentiate between the two you are going to have a very dramatic future. If she didn't jump into no one has the right to bite me for any reason all of this could have been avoided.
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Ahh got it.
Hard to answer your question. I think it is a toss up. I do commend you for not over-reacting. My son (when he was 9!) bit his best friend in an emotional moment. I WAS MORTIFIED. My son was a goody two shoes that had never done anything like that. He is 26 now..... I'm still a little mortified. they were playing at my house and I had to confess to the mother. My son DID get in trouble because it was on purpose!
My son used to bite. He did it at school to a kid or two. It is rather hard for the parent of the biter. She might be too embarrased to call. The boy was probably tired, stressed or couldn't use his words at the time. If you see her again, encourage a playdate.
This stuff happens all the time. This case seems like an accident. You had your husband pass along the information, which helped them understand what their son had done. I would be VERY alarmed if my daughter bit because she has NEVER been a biter. It would totally shock me and I would be happy to hear that it happened as an accident rather than out of anger/frustration, etc.
I would not let it cause me to not contact another mom if we had children who enjoyed playing together. Children are quite resilient. I'm sure your daughter would love to play with him again. Ask her if she'd like to play with him again and then follow up...I'm sure someone in the neighborhood has her information...You can then also offer another apology or have a giggle over what happened...
I don't it will work out fine. Stop worrying. Toddlers bite each other sometimes. :)
