Another Baby? - Excel,AL

Updated on September 27, 2010
A.D. asks from Excel, AL
11 answers

My husband has recently been wanting to have another baby since our 2 boys are both in school now (ages 5 & 10) I kinda would like to go back to school or maybe even find a full time job. I would love to have another child (maybe a girl this time) but I'm kinda confused on which way to turn. I am 34 and getting older too.

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So What Happened?

I am just wanting to go to Cosmetology School, which doesn't take that long to get your degree, if i decide to have another baby, I can always go while I'm pregnant or wait and get pregnant after my degree. Thanks for all your responses, it helps to hear from others who have went through the some of the same things!

Featured Answers

S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

I had my last one at age 38, a friend had her last at 42. No big difference except a bit more tired and less ball playing outside with them, etc. I had more to do and was a bit slower getting back to 'normal'. I now still have the strength to baby sit grandchildren and although not all day everyday I do have them often. So it's up to what you want and feel you can handle not age but how you feel overall.

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C.M.

answers from Springfield on

Never live with regrets. If you and your husband want another baby then have one. 34 is not too old. Whatever you decide don't put yourself in the position where in 20 years you look back and say " I really wish we would have had more children"

I stopped at two and have always wished I would have had at least two more.

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E.M.

answers from Phoenix on

I had my first baby between semesters of my second year in law school and we are having our second any day now, between the bar exam and accepting a full time position. I am 34. It's hard work, but you CAN do both!! Even at our "advanced age"...lol...!!

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

You need to really think hard and find the answer and have peace with it. If you go to school or get a full time job, will you regret not having another? Or if you have another, will you resent that you didn't go to school? Neither is a healthy attitude.

Could you start school now, til you get pregnant and maybe thru the pregnancy. Take a break when the baby comes and then do school part-time or online when baby is a little older? And finish up by the time baby is in pre-K or K?

I was 34 with a 10 year old and 7 year old when I got pregnant with my youngest. I was 35 by the time I delivered and it was no big deal. I worked full-time thru the whole pregnancy and after. I will say, it was a lot more tiring at 35 than it was the first time at 25 LOL. Both of my kids were a big help though, then and now - my kids are now 18, 15, 8.

Only you know the answer......good luck.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I have never felt that I wanted another--O. is good for me and my husband but wanted to tell you that 34 is NOT old. I had my son at 39. Totally personal decision. You may have regrets either way, so pick what's best for you at this point in your life. Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Lincoln on

You have plenty of time for school and work. You can do that up into your 80's if you want to. Having a baby is a now or never kind of thing. Go for the baby, you won't regret it.

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K.F.

answers from New York on

34 is still young. My cousin just gave birth this past March to her 4th child, a healthy baby boy. She is 45 and her other children are 23, 19, 9 and now the new baby.

School and work will always be there but having a baby won't. If I were to have an error of judgement I would always want to err on the side of life. Who knows, this baby could have the cure for cancer. Your other children will be helpful and it will be a while before you have that empty nest, which is also nice. Just be certain hubby is taking his place with the actual hard work involved with babies too.

It's your choice.

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

My only response is 34 is not old ;) I was 36 when I had my 3rd... and I know lots of my peers "still" having babies at 38, 39 and 40.

J.

I.M.

answers from New York on

A.,
I can only tell you my experience. I have two boys, 12 and 10 and a girl 9. I had my girl when I was 34 just like you are now and I tell you this; although I wish I had more, I am happy with my three and happy with the fact that I had her at 34, any later than that I think it would've taken a toll in my life. You have to have lots of energy to deal with all three of them. But then again, my are closer in age than yours, maybe your oldest can help you out when you have another one. I have a friend that had an unexpected baby at age 43, her son was 13 and her daughter 7 when she had the baby, but they both help a lot. So I guess it really depends on you. Some might say do it now, don't wait any longer; and some may say take your time and finish school first. I say, lay out all the pros and cons and see what your options are. Don't lose your sleep over this, just take your time and be wise in your decision; it will affect the entire family, so think about all of them when making the final decision.
Blessings

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

I had both of my children at ages 36 and 38, and having children later won't take a "toll" on your health or life. If you're ready -and with the ages of your other kids -go for it if you really want another. Sit down and deeply weigh what it truly is that YOU want. If you really want to go back to school or go back to work, then do it. Depending on how long school would take you -you could do that now and still have plenty of time for another baby in a few years. You could also try working full time to see how you like it and if you just want to stick with that. Age is definitely an issue and part of the equation, but you DO have several years!

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

No, you don't want to live with regrets, but that applies to going back to school and getting a job too...You have two great kids and it is not wrong to think about yourself a little bit too. 34 is certainly not old but think about the age differences between your kids. Your new baby will be almost like an only child, depending upon when you actually get pregnant and have the baby. I was 5 years younger than my only sibling and it was fine, but we didn't play together much and had a very tumultuous relationship growing up! Now it's great, but then it was hard. If you want another child, then of course it's not too late, but you have to decide which of those paths in the right one right now. It is a tough choice, but you probably know the answer, just find it inside you!

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