Annoying Neighbor Child

I understand your frustration, but I think you are being a little harsh. The 8 year old sounds lonely--plain and simple. Post a note on your door that says "Do NOT ring doorbell". I don't think it's strange that she wants to "play" with your daughter... big girls love babies and conversely, babies love big girls. If you really are that annoyed, talk to the girl's parents.

Hi B.,

There must be one in every neighborhood..haha! We too had a girl, new to the neighborhood and she would come ring the bell, look in the windows, and just came in one day while we were having a family party and was checking everything out, dipping into the food, etc!! She was picking up my young daughter and I was afraid of her dropping her. I ended up talking to the mother because the girl was also yelling at my son for things...he has Down syndrome and doesn't understand things as well...plus he was young too! That was the last straw for me. I spoke to her mother and she has kept her distance...from me anyway. Good luck and don't feel bad about wanting her to keep her distance too. It's up to the parents to teach her what is allowed, polite, etc. Some folks like their privacy.

I don't think it's odd that the little girl wants to play with your daughter, because a lot of little girls that age like to play with babies. I do understand your frustration with the little girl bothering you so often, though, and I would simply approach the girl's mother and explain that you have another child to tend to and a napping schedule and that her daughter is welcome to visit between this time and that time, on this day or that, but to please keep her daughter from coming over any other times.

Dear B.,

I, too, would be SO annoyed with this girl & more importantly her parents! She is way too old to be playing with your daughter, first of all. And secondly, an 8 year old has no business wandering the neighborhood with parental supervision. I think you should tell her parents as kindly as possible that your young toddlers still take naps and that you don't want anyone just "popping over" all the time, ringing the doorbell and waking up the kids. You could also explain to this girl that you don't want her to ever ring the doorbell or just stop by because your young toddlers still take naps and you don't want them to be awakened during nap time. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. This girl would drive me crazy! And if her mother stays at home, where is she?

B.,
I don't necessarily think that it is odd that she wants to play with your two-year old. Kids like to play with younger kids sometimes too and sort of play the big sister role. Since she is so persistent, I suspect she is lonely. But even so, she needs guidelines. I'd get a Do Not Disturb sign and point out to her, that when this sign is up, it means that your kids are napping and that you don't want the doorbell to be rung. If it persists, maybe you can say something really diplomatic about it to the mom. Good luck.

I too do not think that it is strange that this girl is lonely and wants to play with your daughter, especially if there are no other kids on the block to play with. The advice that you have gotten about a do not disturb sign seems pretty bothersome for you...did you remember to put out the sign today?
Why don't you just tell the neighbor girl that she can only come over to play when you are outside with your kids. Tell her and her mother that you don't appreciate her just popping by when she feels like it because of your kids schedules and such. But if she sees you outside she is more than welcome to come over and say hello. That way she is not interupting you and you can supervise their play time together.
Good Luck!
J.

Wow...she is a eight year old little girl...not an adult, right? I think you would need to guide her and let her know that from this time to this time, your daughter and son nap. She probably just wants to play with a girl since she has a brother. My daughter is the youngest on our street and the 13-15 year old girls love playing with her and she loves playing with them. Although, because she is so young she doesn't understand half the things there are doing and ends of entertaining the other kids. You should be happy that your two year old has a friend on the street and is popular already! :) Best Wishes!

I too would be annoyed. Does the mom even know where her daughter is? Neighborhoods aren't like they were when we were younger, where all the kids played outside together. That being said, it doesn't mean that you can't form a relationship with this girl. I have a neighbor girl who is seven years older than my oldest and she is wonderful! I adore her, but her mom does not allow her to just come and ring my doorbell. She comes over whenever we are outside. I also have her over for "play dates" so I can work or get things done around the house. I am very good friends with her mom too. Try reaching out to her mom and let the mom know your kids enjoy her daughter, but the kids are still on nap schedules. If that doesn't work put a stop sign or red circle in the window when it is not ok to come over.

I dito everything Dana S said. I also loved playing with babies and children when I was younger. I think, since she is only 8, that she just needs some guidelines. You may also find her helpful if you can have her play with your two year old while you tend and spend extra time with your 6 month old. Try to find a way to use her to your advantage. Like Dana said talk with the little girl and the mom and say that she can't just "stop by" but you would love her help from such and such time and on such and such day. Of course if you don't want her help then you will have to word that as well to the mom. Good luck and I know it is annoying but try to put a different spin on it and it may work to your advantage.

I do not think the neighbor girl wanting to play with your daughter is odd. Girls that age LOVE playing with kids younger than them. My niece is awesome with my two younger kids! I would not be concerned with that. I liked the idea of putting up a do not disturb sign or poster to let her know when not to ring the doorbell. I would for sure also talk to her mom about this "code" so the mom can reinforce to the girl when she is not allowed over. Who knows, maybe in 5 years you will have the best babysitter who convenianty lives next door! What a perfect situation!

B.,

I too would be concerned that this little girl is running the neighborhood unsupervised. If you feel that this girl is too old to be playing with your children than that is what is correct. You make the rules. If you are uncertain on how to approach the Mother/Father of this little girl perhaps, for the time being, do what you CAN do to remedy your troublesome situation.

Why not tape a colored poster paper or something on the front door and explain to this little girl that whenever she sees this colorful paper on the door that she cannot ring your doorbell. Explain to her that your babies NEED their sleep and every time the colored paper is taped to your door that nobody is to ring your doorbell. At least this may eleviate your initial concern. The concern about confronting the girls Parents or concern over the little girl in general, can be handled when and if you are ready.

Isin't it a shame? We have a boy like this in our neighborhood or should I say........We have parents like this in our neighborhood.

I wish you well.
K.