An Unusual Potty Training Question

There is a medical term for people who don't/can't use the bathroom away from home. As adults this is usually manifested by people not pooping while on vacation or away from home, etc. I guess I wouldn't worry about it. His bladder at this age is perfectly capable, physiologically, of holding it until he gets home, so I would let him do that. Otherwise it gets into a fight over his body you can't win. If he was wetting himself I guess then I would worry, but since he's able to hold it, let him. When he is older if this becomes a problem, you can address it then. But at his age, I would just wait and see if he grows out of it. The bigger deal you make about it I think it may become a control battle that isn't worth it. Hope that helps!

This is very difficult to bring up... but have you asked him why he doesn't want to use the bathroom at school or with the teachers? Have you asked him if anyone has hurt him or touched him there? I know that this is something that we as mothers don't want to even think about, but being a child who was molested from 2-?? I have to bring this up.
My mother was always supportived of me and told me I could tell her anything... but kids do have a way of knowing what's right and wrong and might be ashamed (yes even at 3 years old) or scared to tell you. It can't hurt to just ask.

You could try peer pressure having all the other kids go. Make it a little competative who can go first.

If he is only there in the mornings, make sure he goes before leaving home, and praise him for going at home as soon as he gets home. Holding it for a few hours shouldn't hurt or constipate him, but longer could make him constipated and that could become a long-term problem. If he is not comfortable going at school, I'd suggest asking the teachers to not make him try - that could exasperate the problem by building up fear/pressure. This isn't an uncommon problem for boys. He may also be self-conscious about wiping at school. It would be natural for a little boy to be uncomfortable with anyone but mom or dad helping him wipe & he may not be big enough to do it all on his own...

My sister almost NEVER goes to the bathroom in a public place. This was true in school and is still true now. I don't have any idea why other than she may be undiagnosed OCD.

Personally, I have a difficult time using public restrooms due to a mild sense of "germ-phobia" and a moderate case of claustrophobia.

If the doctor says it won't hurt him to hold it, and he does well at home, I would push the issue personally. My sister never had a history of bladder infections.

Does your son use the potty in other places? Stores, grandma's house etc? Is school the ONLY place he avoids? If that is the case, then I would look into whether anything ever happened to him at school in the bathroom that could have produced a fear there.

I wish I could be more helpful- but I can only say: my sister turned out ok :)

My daughter did this at daycare when she was 2. I brought in a potty chair from home and she preferred it over the toilets but she never really warmed up to going potty at daycare when I wasn't around. (She peed on the potty chair while I was there dropping her off in the morning.) Fortunately I had my second child shortly after she quit diapers and stayed home with my kids. Once she started preschool a few months later it wasn't an issue.

Have you tried asking him why? Is he afraid of something (germs)? Sometimes people can say something that is seemingly harmless, but really freaks out a little guy. If he'll go while your there, maybe you'll have to go there mid morning to help him out. I know that it would be a pain, but it might be worth it for a little while and you can gradually cut back. Just an idea.

Just idea that has worked with our son in other situations - maybe try a story with pictures of the potties/toilets at school ans words about him successfully using the potty at school including the steps he needs to complete this successfully. I hope that you find something that helps him with this issue.

My son was like that in Head Start, but only when it was time to go a #2. He would hold it so long that he would literally get sick at school with bad stomach pains, and double over. My husband would freak out, take him the ER right away and they could never find anything wrong. We were very concerned. That happened a few times, then one day I was at school and see their bathroom. The children didn't have any privacy when they went. The next time he was sick like that, I told my husband what it was, he was still freaking out, but I told him to just bring him home instead of another medical bill. Well, he came home and he would hold it soo long at school, he would be constipated and it would hurt him. So I basically made him go and talked to him and the teachers about the problem, and it was fixed. He just didn't want to go #2 at school cause their was no privacy. In fact, he's in middle school now and right off the bus every day, that is where he is. Some people are just like that I guess. But you know, he can only hold it for so long and then he'll just have to go, or he'll mess himself. They should still give him plenty to drink with breakfast, make sure he has his privacy and turn the water fosset on when they are trying to make hime go. That'll usually do it. or even putting one of his hands in warm water. Kinda odd measures, but maybe once he knows he can go when he has to, he will. He might just be scared to. Hope it all works out!! :)