Am I Wrong? - Norfolk,VA

So, I feel kind of wrong for feeling like this. But my husband and I separated and we've been separated for a year. We hung out a few times and we recently came back from a family reunion with our kids. He is always asking me to come back to him and at first, I told him I would give him to the end of July to show me what he's got and maybe we could make the move back under one roof. Well...it's nearing end of July and I still love the man, but I feel like if I went back to him, I would just be settling. Trust me, I haven't talked to any other guys, but being away from him gave me the time to really think about what I would like in my partner in crime. He's a good guy, but when I step back and examine the relationship we had...most of the time I wasn't too happy. He likes to hang out with his friends and he still does. He has calmed down a lot though and I do see a man more focused on building a life for himself and his children...not necessarily relationship wise to me. Every now and then I call and text him to see how he's doing; but I don't get the same back. It's only when I stop for about a week or so that he will...and since I have the kids...I would expect him to at least call every night to say good night to them, but there's times we may not hear from him like two days in a row. If you have the ability to, how can you not at least tell them goodnight? And then, on our way to the reunion, we drove my car. I don't allow any smoking in my car. So, he respected that, but wanted to roll one in my car. Absolutely not! He flipped! Said I was being childish, petty and I should wonder why it didn't work out between us. That I don't understand him and I should be ashamed of myself for getting upset over him trying to roll one in my car. It's my car right? And that whole situation made me just step back even more and think, do I really want to go through that again? I don't deserve that and who really flipped? He really doesn't have any respect for me and it's just wrong what he said. He brought up that I never liked things that he does and I'm always the one to bring our relationship down and what not. I don't want that....it's too much of a headache. I don't know, I feel guilty for feeling that way, but also comforted because I feel like I can let him go finally, but hurt that I might hurt him. But he hurt me by saying those things, so I guess it would be even? I hate even.