Am I the Only One Who Does This?

I don't expect anyone to clean my home when they are a guest in it. That's my job.

If you choose to clean when you're a guest in someone else's home thats up to you, but I don't think it's reasonable to expect this from others.

I will strip the sheets, but would not expect my guest to. I would never allow my guest to clean the bathroom, ever! I don't care if they stay a month and are the only ones to use it, they are guests! I would not be annoyed they do not clean, I would be upset if they did.

I don't CLEAN the bathroom - but I do pick it up - towels, etc..if there is gross neglect in the bathroom - I may try and clean it - but I do my best not to make a mess in someone else's home.

I DO take the sheets of the bed and put them in the laundry room - if I know where the new set of sheets are - I put them on..

I would never expect a house guest to clean up after themselves!
As far as being a guest in someone else's home, sure I tidy up when I leave, but it wouldn't even occur to me to pull out the cleaning products or change the sheets (though I usually do strip the bed.)
ADDED: When you host a dinner party do you ask your guests to prepare, serve and clean up?!

Wow! Really? I would never in a million years expect someone to clean before they left. Invited guests are just that...guests. That being said, I wouldn't expect a big mess either. When I stay somewhere, I do offer to take sheets off for them and make sure things are picked up but have never looked for cleaning supplies to scrub the shower and toilet. I would never want my guests to do that either. But everyone is different! If this is something you do for these oeople, you could casually mention at the end of their stay where to find things to clean...

I feel weird doing laundry at someone else's house, I usually ask if they would like me to strip the bed, and have never had anyone take me up on that.
I would swish and swipe the bathroom, but would also fully expect them to come back and clean again no matter what i had done.

but that's just me, I bet if you hinted they would offer.

I was brought up like you were. Granted I wouldn't go so far as to say mop a bathroom floor nor scrub a toilet, but I always make sure to wipe down counters, sinks etc. I always collect my towels and sheets and ask the hostess where to leave them or if I should start a load of laundry. I make my bed every morning and make sure that everything in the room is picked up. If you are an adult, there is no reason that you shouldn't pick up after yourself. No reason whatsoever!!

That being said, the majority of my guests (both friends and family) return the favor. At a minimum, the guest room is neat and tidy either with a stripped or nicely made bed, and the bathroom is picked up. The notable exceptions are my sister and everyone in my husband's family. Here's how I've handled it:

My sister is quite frankly a difficult house guest. She not only doesn't pick up after herself, she also doesn't control her 2 yr old. She lets him play dress up in our closets leaving clothes and shoes everywhere. She lets him play with his food (including putting bowls on his head at the dinner table and doesn't pick up the spilled food off the floor). She tends to wear a good bit of make up, and has no qualms whatsoever about taking my expensive, embroidered white towels to wash it off. Finally I had enough. I confronted her. She went so far as to tell me that I should know better than to give her white towels. Now, in prep for her visit, I bought cheap, dark colored towels from TJ Maxx and a pack of cheap washcloths. Sorry, no more of my $50+ Turkish bathsheets for you. We place plastic garbage bags under the seat assigned to her child. It's plainly obvious that the guest bed and bath and stripped down for her visits, and she took the hint and got better.

Now my husband's family is a completely different story. When they come to someone's home, they expect to be "kept" for at least 2 weeks (my MIL has stated that it takes at least a week for her to settle and be comfortable before she can enjoy a visit). They expect clean towels DAILY. They expect cooked multi-course meals. They don't make their beds. They open their suitcases and leave their stuff everywhere. They expect a pot of coffee served to them with breakfast and dinner. Well, I am not their maid. My husband has told them we don't allow guests for longer than a long weekend. That hugely helps curb the problem. We eat out most nights because my husband and I work long hours and that's what we prefer. Come or don't come, but this girl isn't coming home from a 12+ hr day to cook for 4 adults who have been vacationing ie watching TV all day (oh did I mention that when the in-laws come they bring their 2 adopted handicapped children who are now 30 and 25 respectively). I showed my MIL how to work the Keurig and where the coffee pods are. If you want coffee it's single-serve-help-yourself.

Ultimately, I feel like if you want full maid service, go to a hotel and pay for it. Generally, that's what my hubby and I do. If you want to stay in my home because you want to share company, then you are there to SHARE company and it should be enjoyable for both parties. There is no reason that 1 party should be there to service the other. I have never understood people who go to someone else's home and don't try to minimize the intrusion and treat the hostess respectfully. My mother, my brothers and all of our adult friends get this. Why doesn't my husband's family nor my sister? I couldn't answer that question for you. I just know that I don't tolerate it.

And please...don't get me started on the lost art of the hostess gift and a handwritten thank you!

I don't if I'm staying somewhere other than my parents. I also don't expect others to when they are staying at my house. If they are my guest, I don't want them to feel like they have to clean up my house. If it was an extended stay, like a month or more, that might be a different story, but I would discuss it before hand. It would just feel weird to me to have a guest scrubbing the toilet. I think as long as they keep the bathroom picked up, meaning no towels or dirty clothes all over the floor, then I will do the rest.

I don't expect guests to clean the bathroom or change the beds when they leave. All I expect them to do is pick up their own clutter.

I do whatever cleaning needs doing while they're staying with me. If they offer to help, great. If not, fine - it's not their job.

The host is normally responsible for cleaning. I was brought up to be taught that while it's polite to fold up any bedding...aka if I sleep on the couch then I should fold up the quilt, blanket, etc. then offer to put it up for the host for the day & even offer to help in someways like help in the kitchen at meal times or help around the yard, offer to help w/dishes, etc so I won't look like a guest that's lazy or inconsiderate but if it's on the bed then the host is responsible for that, not the guest. It's great that you want to go the extra measure to help but I think it's rude to expect or even ask your guests to 'clean'. I'd expect them to straighten up their mess, fold up the bedding if they're on the couch; if they're on the bed then I'd expect them to 'make the bed' & keep their mess to a minimum & clean up after themselves...like don't leave dirty napkins or the like laying around to throw them away themselves...but to actually clean like change sheets or use cleaners to clean up is a bit extreme for a guest to be expected to do. After all, they are 'guests' in your home. I think if it were for an extended time, more than two weeks, then I think I would ask them to help clean in that instance but not if it's for a short time.

We usually stay at my dads when we go back "home". I always take the sheets and covers off. Clean up the bathroom and etc. I even offer to wash the sheets. My step mom insist I don't because I am a guest. But I wouldnt feel right about not doing so.

You need to tell them your expectations, especially if you reciprocate and visit them and clean up after yourself and family. They aren't mind readers and most people need to be told flat out things like that anyways.

I think it's very kind of you to do this when you stay somewhere else, but this is not the norm. They are your guests, not tenants, coworkers, or children you are raising. That said, I think it is a perfectly reasonable request since your hospitality probably gets a bit taken advantage of due to your fabulous location. When they arrive, just point out the cleaning products to them and tell them where the clean sheets are.

Its common courtesy to clean the place when you stay with someone and make sure you make the beds and put fresh sheets on. The next time people want to stay with you, tell them before hand that you are implementing a new rule that those that stay, need to clean up and put sheets on before they leave---just say you love the company, but it gets to be to much to clean up after all the guests. GL!

***IF they don't want to clean up after themselves, they can alway go and PAY a hotel/motel to do that for them----

M
M

I think it is cultural. My husband is from Europe where if you stay with someone you always strip the bed etc. before you leave. (Of course often you are expected to have your own linens and towels with you as well.) I always follow the custom when we are visiting over there. When I am visiting my family/friends I usually ask what they would like me to do to clean up when getting ready to leave. However, at my house, I really wish that they would just leave the bedding be. I know it is the custom to strip the bed, but for me it is unpleasent to go in and see a big load of laundry waiting to be done, much better if I can do it my own way at my own pace.

When we used to go see in-laws I always thought it was odd that she never had clean sheets on the bed when we arrived. She would sleep in every bed in her house over the week and then her cleaning lady would come and changed every bed for her. But it never failed, we would show up, for a planned visit, and there was never a clean bed. So I would strip it and make the bed with sheets from the linen cabinet. I washed and dried the dirty sheets while we were there and when we left I always stripped it again, replaced with clean sheets and made sure the washer finished and the sheets wed used were in her dryer. So for my weekend stay I did the bed twice. Well, the last time we stayed with her as we were leaving she said, "why do you have to leave me with a load of laundry to fold everytime you come?" You can guess why that was the last time we stayed with her.
I always leave the bed with clean sheets or at least stripped so the host can make it for the next guest. I always wipe up the bathroom too. But I never expect my guests to do it for me. We dont have many over night guests but because of a sewing room, and an office, we dont have a guest room so anyone who stays here gets a nice air mattress or the couch. Ive only had one person not fold thier blankets and let the air out of the mattress in the morning. Everyone else was polite enough to try to clean up their sleeping space before they left. It was nice of them in my opinion. Oh, that one person was our daughter.

I don't usually change the sheets or clean the bathrooms when I leave someone's house. I do clean up after myself. I don't leave a messy bathroom. I try to straighten it up the best I can. I do make the bed that I have slept on and make sure I don't leave trash or anything else out. I would almost be a little uncomfortable cleaning someone else's house and I would not ever LET a guest clean my house (or just bathroom). I have my own way of cleaning and I am very picky how it is done. Also I think it would be rude to expect a guest to clean like that.

I just don't make a mess, but I don't expect my guests to clean up after themselves. They are guests not people that live there everyday.

I don't have a lot of overnight guests but I often have people for meals. around here we tell them 'foods great--service sucks.... help yourself'.

Yes they should help with the clean-up especially it they are there a few days. Next time they visit show them where everything is; many people feel it's an invasion of privacy to open someone else's cupboards and closets.

No, you're not ridiculous at all . . . sounds reasonable to me.

I pretty much do what Cheryl O. does - it does help if you know where the clean linens are.

How hard is it to peek under the sink to discern whether there are at least Clorox Kleen-up wipes or something along those lines? Having boys that's what I usually look for so I can at least spot-clean the toilet.

Anyway, no, I don't think you're ridiculous at all.

They should absolutely clean up after themselves-esp since they stay that long. Laundering the sheets is not necessary as long as they strip the beds and make them with the comforters.

I would probably do like you because I value cleaning so much. But I would never expect anyone to clean in my home.

Maybe it's the "Southern Hospitality" in me but I would never "expect" anyone staying in my home as a guest to clean up. I think it's rude to assume that or to ask it. If they were "living" in my home different story. I don't expect them to take advantage of me though. Meaning me having to pick up after them on every aspect. As long as they were trying to maintain their clean space then I would expect that but for them to clean my bathroom and their sheets!!?? Sheesh if I were staying somewhere and they expected that from me I wouldn't even feel welcome into their home. I want my guest to feel at home and like I said maybe its the southern in me but maybe not!?? I never really thought about it-It also depends on the guest though too. If it were someone I was comfortable with then I might but it's not like they are moving in so I would feel awkward to ask that or expect it. However when I stay with someone such as family whatever I will offer to help out. Do you need help with the dishes? Do you need help with some of the laundry? Do you need help with anything? So perhaps me asking to help out suffices for the end of the stay!!??? I don't know maybe it is a cultural or generational thing???

Since they are guest in my home, I do not expect them to clean bathrooms and change linens when they get ready to leave.

No you are not wrong to feel that way. How rude of them to leave your house a mess. Next time let them stay at a hotel, that way they can leave it a mess.

I think it would be fine to leave a little card in the guest quarters welcoming them to the space , and telling your guests what is expected of them and where the cleaning supplies are . You may want to include tips on what to see in the area . If that seems to harsh soften the blow with a plate of chocolate chip cookies !