Am I the Only Mom Who Doesn't See Her Kid(s) off to School

You are lucky to have a very involved husband/dad who is happy to do the morning routine. You shouldn't feel guilty at all for sleeping in. Just because you're a SAHM doesn't mean you have to do everything.

Don't see the problem. Since I head off to work right after DS's bus picks him up, we all get up together. I suspect once he is in high school (way earlier), he will be able to wake me up and say goodbye before he heads to the bus stop. Which he will be perfectly capable of doing by himself.

I don't see my kids off to school... but it's because I am already at work. Super jealous about the sleeping in!

I leave at 6:30/6:45 am and take the two younger ones with me to drop them off at either of the Grandma's. Grandma gets to do the pre-school drop off and pick-up for my middle child.

My oldest stays at home and gets ready for school with dad, who drops her off at her elementary school. He is very proud that she has 0 tardies. He takes his job seriously :)

I don't think you're weird, every family does what works for them!

If it's working for your family it's OK. Her Dad is with her. If she had no one see her off I'd be concerned. But not in your case.

If this works for your family, then there's no issue here. I sometimes sleep in and let my husband see the kids off in the morning. Sometimes I let him sleep in and I do "morning duty". We don't BOTH need to be up to help two middle schoolers and a high schooler, do we? You are not crazy.

I think that as long as your husband is there, it's covered. I strongly believe that when possible, every child should be seen off by at least one parent in the morning. My husband's father left for work before he got up and his mother slept in every morning, so throughout middle and high school, he just got up and left in the morning without any family contact, which is kind of sad. It's one thing for neither parent to be there if both leave for work early or one has left for work and the other is sleeping due to shift work but my husband's situation sort of said "eh, I don't care."

So...because your husband is there in the morning, that morning contact is covered. I'm sure that if he left for work before your daughter got up, you'd figure out a way to adjust your schedule to be able to have some time together in the morning.

All that said...have you ever taken a diurnal cortisol test? It tracks your cortisol levels over a 24 hour period. Insomniacs often have cortisol cycles that are out of whack - your cortisol should peak between 6 & 8 AM, allowing you to start the day refreshed, then taper off throughout the day to a low point at around 10 PM, allowing your body to sleep. If that cycle is off, your sleep will be off. Thyroid issues and cortisol often go hand in hand. You might want to look into taking this test (you can order it from Canary Club online for about $100) to see if that's part of the problem. There are then some things you can do to re-set your cortisol cycle. I have always been a night owl and used to run on 4-6 hours of sleep but as I get older, I just can't function that way. I did a detox in February that focused on hormone balance - including cortisol - and for the first time in my life, I'm consistently tired at 10 PM and ready to get up at start my day at 5:45 AM. Life's too short to be exhausted!

I hope you are working with a good endocrinologist and therapist. I had demand to be taken seriously and for them to figure out how to help me. They really helped me to get my thyroid under control and helped me mourn and then deal with my health.

I still need a nap in the afternoon, but at least I can sleep most of the night. Tonight I am waiting for a phone call, that is why I am up so late. You deserve to be able to sleep so you do not miss out on what is going on during the day with your whole family.

I know plenty of moms that are in the medical profession that are not always home in the mornings to see their children off for school. One is an OBGYN. Her husband is a stay at home dad and he has always been the one to take care of the kids in the mornings. He is the one that was always available for their care.

I have another friend that when her children first started school, she missed a lot of school mornings and afternoons because she was on buying trips. The kids were fine with their dad. Heck sometimes it was a nanny that took over in the mornings or afternoons because their parents were both out of town.

I think it is so nice that she has breakfast with Dad. Special moments are being created. All my kids were a year apart and very self sufficient!!! They had it worked out that they all got out if the house on time. They just figured out who did what first, last etc. as for me, I stayed our of their way. Did not want to get in the way. Worked well for all!

Dad in am, Mom in pm! Lucky girl😃😃😃

I've never "seen my kids off to school." I guess I'm crazy too.

I get up every morning and see my kids off to school. They are in 6th and 3rd grade. I also have a 3 year old. I have a feeling I will be up with kids for a while. sigh.
I think it's AWESOME that your daughter gets that time with dad. I never got time like that with my father. I am jealous.
I think it sounds like it works for YOUR family and that's all that matters.

If I had a nice husband spending quality morning time with the kids you bet your butt I'd be in bed, GUILT FREE!!!

You need your sleep more. And she's 14. It's fine. You see her after school. It's a good time for dad bonding.

But you need to get your thyroid condition under control. I assume you're hypo? Aren't you taking Synthroid or some alternative? Within a week of beginning to take my thyroid med, my exhaustion went away.

Since Dad is able to do it, I see no problem with it. And she's old enough to be basically handling it on her own. If you said she 6 and she was on her own, that would be different.
We all have different circumstances and situations within our house. You may "sleep in" but your also up all night. Being a good parent also means taking care of yourself. If you were sleep deprived, that would lead to issues for you and your whole family.
Whose to say what your friend does that you may find crazy!! With my 3rd baby I had an awesome lactation consultant who when I was trying to explain something I was doing to, she looked at me and said "Look, being a parent is kind of like being stranded on a desert island. You do what you have to do to survive." Simple, but deep :)
You're fine. No need to validate yourself to anyone!

If it works for you and your family who cares what anyone else thinks.

I think it's really cool your daughter spends the morning with her Dad. Wish my kids had that.

:)

Nope, not crazy. Your daughter sounds very happy and cared for and that's ALL that matters!
Besides, when you're not a morning person then it's not exactly like it's happy quality time anyway. I HATE driving my daughter to school every day because we're usually both so cranky :-( but I have no choice (husband works in opposite direction, the school is about five miles away and there are no buses.)

My kids are almost 15 and 12. They both have always gone to bed on their own and gotten up on their own. I also stay home. I could sleep til noon and know for sure they would make it to their buses on time. My 15 yo has to leave at 6:30 to get the bus. They both get their own breakfasts if I'm not up to do it for them. I don't understand what your friend has a problem with. I mean, if you have older kids who are unable or unwilling to get up and take care of their own needs in the morning then I guess you should be working on some independence for them. JMO. Good luck.

When I was a stay at home my kids went to private schools so no bus, but there was a carpool. I always slept in on the days I didn't drive. I have capable kids, no reason to baby them.

Oh, sleeping in was 8:00, I still had to go up to their school and do one of my million volunteer jobs.

Right now I am calling in my 13 year old's 10 minute warning. She doesn't answer, I don't expect her to, it is just a ring to remind her. She has been getting herself on the bus since the beginning of last school year at 12. Like I said, capable children, no need to baby them.

I thought this was going to be elementary kids running to the bus and not a high schooler. My husband puts all 3 of our kids on the bus, one in middle school and two in elementary. He gets the middle schooler off and I'm home to get the younger two off. One of us will probably ALWAYS be there for them, but that's us. I see NO problem with you not doing it if your husband is. Count your blessings and ignore the negative Nancy's of the world :).

I don't think this post should be about seeing a teenager off to school - it should be about your insomnia and thyroid problems...those are serious issues and need to be addressed. I hope you are seeing a doctor about this... I can't tell you how much a sleep study changed my youngest son's sleep habits!!

As to kids and school? I get up at 0600 to talk with my freshman before he goes off to school at 0630. I walk my middle school child to the bus and then walk our dog around the block, come home, exercise, shower and work...

I get up because I want to - not because I need to - and to show my kid that he's more important than sleep. We get some nice, quiet time together.

I almost never take my 3rd grader to school. Her dad does it. It is not a luxury for us, I am at work at 7:00 a.m. and she starts school at 7:40 a.m.

I have missed 4 first days of school, without regrets. I don't envy those moms who have to leave their emotional little ones behind on the first day of school.

You do what works for your family.
I never "saw my daughter off" to school once she was in high school. I was busy getting myself ready for work while she was getting ready for school. She got herself dressed, packed her lunch, and grabbed a granola bar on her way out the door to eat while walking to the bus stop.

If she has dad in the morning, I think you have a great routine. My husband leaves for work an hour before we even get up in the morning, so I have to do all the morning stuff, but if I could, I'd sleep in and let him do the morning stuff. He does it on the weekends while I sleep in.

Sounds to me like it's a win-win. Your DD gets valuable father-daughter time and you get to sleep in. I would tell your friend it works for your family and it provides everyone something they need. I bet your DH also enjoys this time with his daughter. My cousin's DH works nights so when he comes home, their DD is getting up. He also does breakfast for his kid and really tries to make the most of that time when they're both awake.

At 14, she shouldn't NEED you to get her going.

In my teen years I lived with my single father, who left for work very early in the morning. There was no one in the house to wake up the 4 of us; (ages 16, 15, 13, and 11.) We had to get ourselves out of bed, dressed, fed, and to the bus stop completely on our own. My older brother was pretty bad about it at first (we had previously lived we our grandma, who was the type to wake us up and have breakfast on the table for us before we had to leave.) It only took him one time of having to walk to school after missing the bus (about a 2.5 mile walk.) to motivat him to be more self-sufficient.

I think that whatever works for you is fine. :)

I do everything but make my daughter breakfast in the AM and walk her to the bus stop. That is 100% my husband's job. I help her pick out clothes, do her hair, make her lunch, push her along - but I work and have to get ready. And I do all of the nighttime work. I figure the least I can do is delegate breakfast and the bus to him. He can barely handle that, by the way, without yelling!

I don't think you're crazy. Your husband should pull some weight.

And BTW - on the first day, I did walk her out. It will be another year before I am out there in the AM again unless my hubby is too sick to get out of bed!

You sound a lot like me, in terms of some of your physical struggles--not able to sleep, hypothyroid, trouble losing weight. Have you been tested for PCOS? I went to more than one endo who told me I didn't have it--finally I went to a reproductive endo who knew exactly what tests to run--in addition to blood tests, I did a 3 hour glucose tolerance test. Just a thought.

This doesn't sound strange. Your husband sees her off to school. I see my kids off because: a) My husband can't see the kids off because he works nights. b) I am up getting ready for work anyway. c) I'm not sure my kids would leave on time if someone didn't tell them to go (time management isn't their strong suit). d) I am paid to do before and after school care for anther family as well.

My older son is 12. Both boys walk to school. This is the last year I will do before and after care. Next year I may take a job that starts earlier, therefore the boys will have to leave on their own, so I suppose we had better start working on that.

It sounds like they have good father/daughter time. I wouldn't worry about it!

So long as your husband isn't resentful and your daughter seems ok, should be fine. Does your husband ever seem annoyed he always has to get up? If not, then no problem. And like others have said, so long as one parent sees her off it's ok. If neither of you did I'd say you should get up and then go back to bed.

I am at work, so my hubby gets both our kids up and ready in the morning because I am gone. Although, I did see my son for a few mins this morning, he was up early. I leave at 6:15 am school is 8:30 we don't wake the kids till 7:00 to get up, eat and dressed for the buss at 8:05.

Hey Cooking,

i see NOTHING wrong with this arrangement, especially since it sounds like it's working for all of you.

Speaking as a mom of an only child, I know it's important for my DS to have some alone time each day with each of us. My DH does the mornings, breakfasts, pack lunch, drop off etc... I do the afternoon pickups, drive home, snack and homework assistant and we all come together for dinner in the early evening.

For us, it's the best of all worlds and I am savoring it because I know, now that he's 13, his time and attention will start to become more socially divided so I treat every hug, kiss, snuggle, hand holding as possibly my last.

Savor the time you have with your daughter, she sounds like a great kid. Also, don't forget to lavish some attention on that husband of yours. He also sounds like a winner. I know I'm so blessed to have a husband that coparents with me as a team. :-) S.

She's a sophomore and should be more than capable of getting herself ready and out the door on time. I think its actually great that she has that time every morning just with her dad. That will be great memories for her.

makes sense to me. my dh has always had to leave ridiculously early, so we couldn't do your sweet set-up, but as the anti-morning person, i'd totally have done it if we could have.
your daughter isn't a tiny, and is clearly self-sufficient, and your family routine sounds close and loving. don't sweat the small stuff.
khairete
S.

I don't get to sleep in, but I don't see my kids off to school either. during high school football season I have to drop my band daughter off 3 days a week for morning practice, other wise I leave for work while they are still home. I don't make breakfast but I make sure they have money in their lunch accounts to have breakfast at school. I have a co-worker who has to be in at 6am so her kids are asleep when she leaves the house, She doesn't see her kids off either.

My mother couldn't be bothered to drag herself out of bed to see me off in the morning. I love my mother, but trust me, her absence never escaped me. I make sure I'm always up with my kids, no matter what, even if that means going back to sleep after they've left. I say this not to make you feel bad or suggest I'm better, but as the kid of a mom who didn't get up with me, it really hurt my feelings. You asked...

We split the duties. My husband works third shift so if he isn't home in the morning I take over. I work second shift and mornings are hard for me. Not because of my health but I am usually not in bed till 2a and 6am comes fast!

My husband and my schedules overlap so my retired father in law puts the kids to bed for us on nights we are both gone.

Nope. My hubby gets the kiddos up by himself and gets them to the bus stop. They eat at school so there isn't any food prep.

I have a friend who gets his daughter up at 6am so they can spend some time together before school and work. He's a hands on deck sort of dad and I think it's very sweet. Mom is a school teacher and doesn't get up until later but she goes to the shower and gets ready for work. She lets them have their time of a morning.