Am I Teaching My Baby to Use Food as a Soother?

No! She's 11 weeks old! She's growing like crazy right now and most likely is crying because she is hungry. You're doing the right thing.

You are absolutely doing the right thing!!! It is the suckling that is soothing her, not the milk. She may not even be actually sucking milk out, just suckling. I did the same thing with my son (it was the ONLY thing that ever soothed him!) and he is a happy, healthy 6 year old with no food problems or issues. I hope this helps!

Hi there C..
That's a pretty tough situation. I know how that feels when nothing else will soothe them. If you read Babywise by Gary Ezzo, it helps to get a really great schedule down to where you KNOW when they're hungry and what they need. Babie do cry a lot at first and that is hard to get used to. But definitely try the Babywise book. You can get it on Amazon.com for really cheap. Make sure it is the very first babywise book. There are lots of books and they go all the way up to teenwise. This was a lifesaver for me and I hope it helps you too. Good luck! I'd love to know how it turns out for you.

I did the same thing...nursed to soothe and as far as long-term effects that shouldn't be a concern right now. My kids are 2,4,6 and are all healthy weights and they eat in spurts..sometimes like they haven't eaten for days and other days they pick and don't eat a thing. Both are natural...kids have a natural instinct for when they are hungry. Teenagers and adults are the ones who establish the "eating three meals a day" food routine, kids eat when they are hungry. That said, there is a terrible problem with obesity and conversely, eating disorders. The best way to keep you child on track later and not create an "over-eater" is: DO NOT TRAIN YOUR CHILD TO EAT EVERYTHING ON HIS PLATE! TRAIN HIM TO STOP EATING WHEN HE IS FULL AND TO RECOGNIZE THAT. That and the fact that my parents would say "do you want some more of these potatoes, there is only a little bit left" making me a human garbage disposal, led to me being overweight for most of my life. I have just now learned about hunger again. Also, I believe that eating for comfort, is caused by instances of giving your child attention and food at the same time. My Mother wasn't very loving or attentive but we sometimes went out to dinner one-on-one or would leave when she and my Dad had a fight and go to dinner...things like that...emotion and food together. I am not trying to creep anyone out with my crazy childhood, but I have done a lot of thinking about food/emotions and how they are related. Bottom line...you are a great Mom so far and attentive to your child...keep it up!

I don't have any good advice I guess, but I do this too. My son is 8 months old and sometimes nursing is the only way to get him to calm down, especailly since he is teething. I do worry that this is going to make things more difficult, but he needs mommy to help relax him right now. Hopefully others will give you some advice, but I think you are doing fine.

It's always been my experience that as young as 11 weeks, they won't overeat. Maybe the reason she cries and nothing will soothe her is because she really is hungry. Nursing babies eat more often than bottle fed babies. If she were not hungry, she wouldn't nurse, she would just hold it in her mouth, or not open her mouth at all.

C.-

It's the sucking reflex that calms her when she is truly distraught. There is nothing wrong with nursing on demand. I have a 9 mo. old son, and when he gets really upset nursing is still the best soother. If you can't nurse everytime she gets upset, try a pacifier. They truly are lifesavers!! Another helpful resource I've used is "The Happiest Baby on the Block" book by Dr. Harvey Karp. It gets some great insight on the best techniques to soothe and comfort. Hope all goes well and this time, they truly do grow up too fast!!

NO NO NO, what you are teaching your baby is security. At such a young age you are that baby's constent. You are teaching her that you are there and will comfort and nurture her. You should love and hold her, and if she wants to bf for comfort then do it! Time is fleeting. She won't be little forever. Enjoy it, hold her close and feel wonderful that you can make her feel safe and loved.

Hi C.. I don't know the psychology of it all, but I think your daughter is way too young to worry about this. Nursing is one of her only ways to be comforted at this age. This is a bonding time and she is learning that she can count on you to help her feel better when she needs it. She's too young to be able to totally soothe herself and you are teaching her that you are dependable and there for her when she needs you.
Hope this helps. Sounds like you're doing a good job.
- P.
www.tinytottowels.com

Since you are nursing and are unable to see how much a baby actually eats they eat more often. You are doing the right thing by nursing when nothing else works because that just means she is hungry. Good luck!!!

I am a sahm of 3 (2,8,and10) and I also BF all 3. My advice to use is to go ahead and nurse to help soothe her especially at 11wks. and dont worry to much about the food issue all 3 of my kids are physically and emotionally fine. Just remember that anything you do I am sure is in the best intrest of your baby and dont worry to much about the little stuff .

I wouldn't worry about that. Especially so young. My little girl is 8 months old. And I did the same when she was a baby. For breast fed babies, nursing is their comfort and reassurance that you're there, and that their needs are important. If for some reason I had to be gone all day, even if she had just finished eating, when she saw me she wanted to nurse because upon seeing me she realized how much she missed me, and needed to reestablish that connection and that security. My baby, as all babies, grew up and is now a little stronger, and has learned to self-soothe, without any help. This is a very wonderful time to be able to spend with your baby right now. Don't worry about spoiling her, either. It's not possible at this age, (at least until 6 months) and could even be detremental if she cries and you do nothing, because this lets her know how important her needs are to you. If nursing is what calms her down, then nurse her, and enjoy it. Good luck with your new baby!

Hey, I don't think you are teaching her to use food to make her feel better. I, by the way, have a boy the exact same age as yours, born 2/8/07!!! I did the same thing. I supplemented from day 1 b/c with both of mine I was not producing enough milk. So, my point, is that I would nurse even if he had just had a bottle to soothe him. I think it's part of the bonding that is created b/w the two of you. Sometimes I feel they need that closeness, it's the feeling of security. So congrats and good luck!!!
Leean

Hi there, just wanted to let you know I think it's totally normal for you to let your daughter nurse when she is upset. Until babies are 6 months old, they retain that tongue thrust reflex which means sucking is comforting. If she's truly nursing, then she is hungry and calming herself. She may just want the sucking sensation without actually nursing a lot. She will never eat if she's not hungry, so don't worry about that. We used a pacifier with our son (who is now 13 months)and he still uses it when he's upset or sleepy. The pediatrician says he'll eventually not need it. It's up to you about using a pacifier; we just felt it necessary since I didn't nurse well. I understand your concern about worrying she'll associate food with comfort; but at 11 weeks old, food is comfort!! It's probably more about the close contact with you and the sucking she is after when she is inconsolable. Don't worry too much. You seem to be doing great. Keep up the awesome mommy job!

K.

The only thing you can teach an 11 week old is trust and to feel secure. If she is crying and nursing soothes her, then do it! It'll make her a happier more trusting baby in the long run! You can't spoil babies under 6 months, you can only teach them that you are there to meet their needs and that they can trust you to make them feel better. Keep that in mind. If she's 3 and scrapes her knee and you give her a cookie, then maybe your off track, but she's too little now! Best of luck and good job!

Hi C.,
Congrats on your daughter and way to go for breastfeeding. I breast fed all three of my children, of which two are boys and one is a girl. I don't think you are teaching her to use food as a comfort at all. You have to remember that breast milk is digested much more quickly and easily than formula and it just may be that she is hungry or even thirsty. Your breast is everything to her--her food, her drink and even her comfort right now. There were times that I felt like my children did nothing but nurse all day and that is okay. When they were as young as yours they were definately feeding every 1-2 hours--I felt like a milk machine, but believe me, every minute is worth it. Good luck and congratulations.

L.

I think what you're doing is great! For the first 3 months, all my daughter wanted to do was nurse nurse nurse. It's SO comforting for baby, and there is absolutlely nothing wrong with nursing often. Enjoy this time!

Don't worry. One of the greatest things about breast feeding is you can do it on command for your baby. She is getting soothed by the nursing and feeling close to you not just the milk. The full tummy does help but its mostly the intimacy with you.

C.,
It's perfectly natural to worry. We've all been there, especially with the first child. But honestly, don't worry so much! Welcome to motherhood!

She needs you, she *needs* the breast, the liquid, the nutrition, the warmth, the security. It'll have **enormous** payoffs later. She needs it because she is growing so much, so fast, her brain is growing, and breast milk is the perfect food. They all do this,... feed for hours every day. They *need* to, and it's perfectly normal. Enjoy every hour! It's a blessing!

the thing you are teaching her is to trust you, that you will take care of her needs and love her unconditionally! Isnt that what mommies are for? Youare doing a GREAT JOB and I commend you for still nursing at 20 months!
Sam Evans LM CPM
Wholistic Midwifery

No, you're not teaching her anything... if anything, she's teaching you! Many times, that is the only thing that soothed my daughter as well, but most of the time she was hungry anyway. Now, if she was 2 years old and you were handing her a cookie every time she cried, it'd be a different story. She's not even 3 months old yet- you're only doing what is right and what comes naturally to both you and your baby.

No you are doing the right thing! BF babies just eat alot more than formula feed babies.