5 Month Old Waking Every 1.5 Hrs and Not Taking to Babywise method..HELP!

I would second the No Cry Sleep Solution! I used it with both my boys, and while not perfect sleepers, I found a way to keep them solidly asleep that worked for both of us with no screaming!

Okay - you're going to get a ton of different answers on this one and there are such strong opinions on both sides of the cry/no-cry sleep methods that you will end up so confused you won't know what to do. I don't claim to be an expert on much with babies - even though I've had 3 - but the thing I figured out & did really well was teaching my children how to self-soothe and sleep very well through the night. It has paid off big time. My kids are now 2,4 & 6 and I think it's safe to say that we have had more nights of great sleep in the past 6 years than just about anyone with 3 small kids. And for a huge chunk of that time 2 kids at a time have shared rooms. So if you're interested in a middle of the road, sensible approach that really & truly works, read on.

I've read all the sleep books. I've taken the things I've learned from all of them & implemented them - though I don't follow any of them fully - except one. The one I use as the basis of my method is Richard Ferber "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems." He's a sleep scientist and I really like science based and very practical things. To that I add a few hints from Babywise and The Sleep Whisperer.

From Babywise, the only thing I follow is the cycle of sleep, eat, play. And trying to make sure my baby doesn't graze - but gets a good feeding that can last a few hours. That's it. From The Sleep Whisperer I learned to look very closely for my baby's cues that they are sleepy (yawning, 1000-mile stare, rubbing eyes). At the first sign of sleepiness, I lay my babies down (with a swaddle for those who needed it) and with no other crutches that will not be there when they wake in the middle of the night - because they will wake - we all do. So no rocking, music, light, bottle - nothing that they won't have by themselves - without you intervening. If they cry, you let them cry for a couple of minutes (I always started with 2 min.) After 2 minutes you go in and help soothe the baby, but DON'T pick him/her up. After a couple of minutes, leave again even if he/she is still crying. Increase the amount of time you are out of the room by a minute or two and go back in. Repeat until they stop crying. The magic of this is that the baby doesn't feel abandoned. Many cry-it-out methods can actually keep the child crying longer & longer because they're scared. With the Ferber method, the baby knows you're there & learns to trust that you will always return, but at some point they realize it's not worth crying long enough to make it happen. They learn that the crib really means bedtime. Each night you do this, the total time it takes to put them down decreases and within a week or two (it usually took me about 5 days but each kid is different) you will be able to put your baby in the crib & they won't cry at all. The other thing I have is a bedtime routine that is always the same that will signal bedtime, i.e. bath, bottle/feeding, book, bed. Consistent bedtimes are also a must. There is a lot more wisdom in "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" but those are the basics. I'm here to tell you it works!!! If you have any questions about it, feel free to send me a message. Happy sleeping!

I cant remember the name of the book, might have been "Colic No More" or something like that.

This author claims that:

The two reasons a healthy baby cries most are for food and sleep. They do not cry for playtime. They would cry for pain but in a healthy baby that should not be daily, it should be rarely. Usually you will hear a difference to thier cry for pain also. His theory that what most call gas or pain is simply the child getting worked up because a basic need is not being met. The child will start out with a normal cry, but will increase the intensity of it , (along with legs drawn to chest, clenched fists, red face) as the need goes unmet. If the child's need is unmet for a long time, the child goes into a hyper cry mode, where they cannot be calmed, the cry will be frantic, ect.

The most common mistake is to not get the child to sleep/nap on time. I kept a journal of my babies natural sleep patterns since birth. If they were up for 10 mins to eat and then fell asleep- I maintained that pattern. Once they hit around the 9 or 10 week mark , where the nervous system was starting to evolve and they wern't so apt to fall asleep in my arms, I knew when to go put them down into bed. Rocking, swinging, patting, will just keep them up longer- yes, they may eventually fall asleep, but they fall asleep from exaughstion. This will eat into their normal sleep rythm, and then you have a bigger problem on your hands. Sleep begets sleep. The more they sleep, the more they will want to sleep and the better they will sleep.
As the months wore on, I added probably 3-5 minutes a month to their awake time. By the time they were around 5 months, they were still only awake about 15-20 minutes or so after they finished their bottle. and then they were back down to sleep. They were up around 7 am, took 4 -5 naps during the day, and then went back down for bedtime after a bath around 8:30-9:00 pm. All my babies slept through the night after 9 weeks, with an occassional waking period when they were ill, etc.
It may sound like the child was napping or sleeping constantly. Indeed, they should be. I think babies need MUCH MORE sleep than people realize.
I kept thier nap scedule consistent by staying at home during their first year and not running around too much
As far as feeding goes, I believe in demand feeding. I had a doctor try to limit the bottle feeding on my first newborn- to every three hours. At two and a half hours she was frantic for food.I went to demand feeding after 3 days and no more frantic baby. What a horrible idea, from a DOCTOR no less.

By the way, reflux can be a symptom of a magnesium deficiency. You could try to use magnesium oil on her skin.(you can find it online). It will increase cellular Mg .It also helps support the nerves so you will probably find you have a much calmer baby on your hands. It also induces sleep. If you don't want to use the oil on the skin, you can get a product online called babycalm. These things should be totally safe unless you have kidney problems/failure.

You let your 5mo old cry for 1.5hrs until he couldn't breathe? Thats insane!

Babies need their needs MET, not put on a schedule determined by mom, or some random book! My boys were fed on demand, nursed to sleep, and coslept for the first few months. Both were sleeping through the night by 3/4mos old, in their own beds by 6mos, and they are now 4 and 7 and no sleep problems whatsoever. Why? Because they had their needs met from birth and didn't have to wonder if mom would come when they cried or not!

He's young, hes still considered a newborn. you want the best method? Its not in a book, its in your HEART! Follow his cues, feed him when he's hungry, play with him when he's awake, and soothe him when he needs it. Don't expect him to learn to self soothe by being left alone. Babies learn to be self soothing when they know their needs will be met if they need something. Its not something you can slam on a newborn, they need ot know they can rely on you when they need something. Babies who are forced into a schedule are anxious, don't sleep well, mimic colic and reflux symptoms, and are no happy babies!

you know what is best, you know what si right. Follow his cues. This won't last forever so get past the thoughts of him being such an inconvenience and enjoy him where he's at right now. Feed him when he's hungry, soothe him whne he needs it. He's a baby, he relies solely on you for everything, so give him what he needs, and don't force him into something he's not ready for.

Also he's in a growth spurt right now, so feed him when he's hungry, don't deprive him, this will make him anxious and not sleep well.

I think parents, in an effort ot make an 'independent' child. take it too far. When a child needs to become independent is a parent who meets their needs on demand, soothes the child, and reassures the child with nursing when hungry and soothing when needed. THIS makes a well adjusted, happy, INDEPENDENT child. Please follow your instincts and your childs cues, screw the books. He's your child.

And I'm sorry if some of htis is harsh, but this is a sore spot for me. People have babie and then force them into these ridiculous routines.... but babies rely solely on their parents for everything, they won't come out matching your schedule at all, s ofollow theirs until they are older and can understand.

Baby Wise method is counter intuitive to what baby's and mothers need. Your baby needs you and to have someone tell you that you should ignore your baby's real needs just because our society thinks we have to push our baby's away from us is just sad. The baby wise method works over time because you break your baby's trust that you will be there for them when they need you. They are NOT adults, they do NOT have to "self sooth" they stop crying when they figure out that is does no good and mommy is not going to help. It's sad really. Baby's are not selfish, manipulative or unrealistic. Why our society thinks that an infant should be able to care for themselves and we need to teach them not to rely and trust their parents, I will never understand.
Try the "no cry solution" and encourage your child to be attached to YOU! Help them trust that you will always be there for them. Your child needs you and you are totally right to respond to that need and care for him!!

The part of Babywise that I used was the ORDER of the schedule, not the 'schedule' per se. Feed, awake time, sleep; feed, awake time, sleep, except at bedtime.. then feed, sleep time. (Most people do it Feed, Sleep, Awake time, feed, sleep, awake time). I never refused to feed my baby if he was hungry...even at night... but if you keep them awake at the end of the feeding and THEN allow them to go to sleep they gradually nurse longer, have longer awake periods in which they are happy, and sleep longer at the end of the awake period.

The rest of it, I don't even remember what the book said. I just remember the ORDER was crucial. And it worked. My babies were sleeping 6-7 hours straight at night by 3 months and they never broke from that unless they were ill. I didn't do any "cry it out" as part of Babywise. With our 2nd baby, at 6 months, we did the Ferber method, which, many folks misunderstand to believe that you ignore your baby. You do not. You put them to bed groggy but awake. Then you come back and check on them at intervals (beginning in as little as 2 minutes if you want), soothing without picking them up. That worked for getting to sleep at bedtime for our daughter in about 3 nights. The staying asleep was not a problem... I was just trying to avoid the 3 hour GETTING to sleep issues we had with our firstborn.
Please do not try to be rigid about schedules. You cannot just decide that you will not feed them for 3 hours or something.... You do need to listen to your baby... but the order of "activity" is what I found to be the most helpful in getting them to sleep longer thru the night.
I wish you the best. HTH

Hi A.,

I can feel your pain. My son who just turned twenty five Sunday had severe colic as a infant. The only thing that saved me was a pacifier. When he would cry uncontrollably I would feed him because that was the only thing that soothed him and I believe I was overfeeding him which was only making his stomach issues worse. So the pacifier helped to soothe him without having to feed him every two hours. Reflux can last longer then 5 months so are you sure that it is gone? I would suggest if he does not take a pacifier you try one, and also ask the doc if he can go back on the medication. I am all for sleep training I did it with both of my children, however waking as often as your son is tells me something is bothering him it is not just a sleep issue. Also 5 months is way to young in my opinion to sleep train. Have you tried elevating his crib so if he still does have reflux it may help. Do you find he sleeps better in his seat or swing when upright? My daughter was not as severe as my son with colic but she had to drink Neutramagen formula because that was the only thing that helped. She was like a different child. Also, I own a childcare center and some of the mom's have used Gripe water for reflux and claim that also helps tremendously. I am not sure if you are exclusively breastfeeding so I am not sure how you would give the gripe water if not mixing it with formula. If you can get a second opinion on his stomach. My doctor told me my daughter was fine, and she didn't sleep for her first six months. I took her for a second opinion. It turned out she had a plug of wax the size of my pinky that her first doctor did not address. When the new doc pulled it out there was blood and pus behind it. The poor thing had an abscess behind all of that wax. I was horrified she was in so much pain. So I would have him checked out. Point being I could never do any type of sleep training unless I was 100% sure nothing else was going on. I think that could be why you are second guessing yourself, as would I. Good luck!!

Hi A.,
My son was the same way. Ditch all those dumb books if they haven't worked yet they aren't going to work. Have you talked to your ped? As a parent I knew something was wrong with my baby so I begged the ped to let me go see a specialist ENT. I am glad I did the reason he couldn't sleep at night was for the simple fact he wasn't getting enough air as he slept. His adenoids were 4 times larger than they are supposed to be. He had surgery on Friday and has been sleeping like a dream ever since he was even up and around the same day. Trust me if you have tried everything ask to see a specialist it just might amaze you I know I was. In my son's case being 4 times larger meant he really could never breathe through his nose which is a big deal it is like having a cold all the time. Signs would be snoring breathing through mouth mainly. Let me know if you have more questions my email is ____@____.com also if you live in the Salt Lake area I can give you my specialists name he is awesome!
V.

I have much better luck when I listen to my baby's cues - if he cries, I unswaddle him and play with him on the bed for a while, nurse him - whatever helps him to calm down...I find he will eventually be ready for sleep once he calms down and starts rubbing his eyes again. Almost unfailingly, if I have trouble putting him to sleep the first time and follow the above method, he will go to sleep willingly (or lie there calmly until he falls asleep) the second go round. Putting him to sleep, however, can take anywhere from 30 minutes to 1.5 hours.

i read this book and used the method on my oldest. now i wish i'd done something different. he didn't sleep through the night on a regular basis until he was 2 1/2. the only benefit i found to crying it out was that it got him out of our frustrated hands at times. but it's not easy to calm yourself down when you can still hear the baby crying for hours in another room. now i use different methods such as patting, rubbing, playing music, Mylicon gas drops, a lovey (stuffed animal or blanket). at bed time, i give it three tries, letting the baby cry 5-10 minutes, picking her up and comforting her a moment if she seems more upset than usual, but mostly just using a calm voice, patting, replacing the blanket and/or the lovey, turning back on the music toy. if she is not asleep after 3 tries, i feed her. i do this because i tried crying it out and no longer believe it was beneficial. everyone in the house needs to sleep and if feeding the baby one more time makes that happen, go for it! in the middle of the night, i do the same calming things, but don't let her cry it out. a loud noise, bad dream, or random gas bubble can often be calmed easily. if the baby keeps crying or waking soon after, i go ahead and feed her. if i have fed the baby recently and she is still waking, i give her Mylicon. keep in mind that every child is different when it comes to what is comforting to them. sometimes they just have to be introduced to the stuffed animal, blanket, music, etc that will do the trick. my first and third children had reflux and as a result they were the worst sleepers. it took a combination of things to get them to sleep peacefully-- Mylicon, Prevacid, me taking supplements to increase my milk supply instead of supplementing with formula. i think your baby is telling you that he needs something else to sleep. you just have to figure it out. good luck and God bless!

This is NOT to guilt you into anything, but I believe in making a completely informed decision and part of that is looking at all sides and the research with it. There was a Harvard University study done linking the "crying it out" method to brain damage in babies from the severe stress of the situation. Here is a link to the article: http://www.nationalpost.com/news/story.html?id=a1a74c84-c...

For additional resources to alternative solutions, this page may be helpful:
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/crying-it-out-causes-brain...

Ugh! I have some thoughts for you but I am not sure it will help much.

My first child was demand fed and I got so exhausted I brought him in bed with me and he ended up sleeping with us until he was 7. Not appealing.

With my second son I was determined to have him stay in his bed at all costs. He had esophogealitis (sp?), this is where the stomach acids just sit in their esophogus with no spitting up. It was horrid! He cried non-stop for the first 9 months of his life and then quite often until 1 when it finally went away.

Like you, I was depressed and my hair was falling out. I did still go into his room at night and feed him on demand. I did not let him cry at night as I could not take it. As soon as there was a peep, I ran in his room, fed him and put him back down. Eventually, I did the ultimate sin and put a bottle in bed with him and he didn't bother me again at night (this was about at 9 months). Luckily with this one, he just liked his sleep (probably just so exhausted from crying all day).

Then came the last baby girl, good grief! I decided to use the same technique at the middle boy. Keep her in her room, go in and feed her on demand and put her back in bed. Well she would have none of that so at about 1 year I was at my wits end. She wouldn't sleep, she wanted only to cuddle, she was a nightmare (harder than the two boys combined). You would think by #3 I would have this figured out.

Finally I went to the doctor thinking that there must be something wrong with my child as I did not know any other child that did this. After doing a thorough check up and a lot of questions to me here is what he told me to do.

- Do not feed at night
- Let her cry it out (even for 2, 3 or even 5 hours!)
- Stay consistent for 7 days
- She will be over it and sleeping through the night within 5 to 7 days

Well to this day, I haven't had the energy or the emotional strength to follow his advice. He says that you need to get your child's sleeping habits in order by 2 for them to have a lifetime of good habits. Call me a bad mom, I just couldn't do it.

Today, she has become a much better sleeper, may wake once at night but nothing bad. My girlfriend swears by my doctor's method and all three of her kids sleep perfectly.

I have tried Babywise and found the book to be wonderful in the sense that you have some direction yet was never able to withstand more than an hour of screaming.

I guess you will have to decide what you can handle. Just remember, they eventually get it dialed in. It is not forever although it feels like it sometimes. I have ages 9, 4 and 1 and the only one I have a problem with is the 1 year old and she is very little problem - finally.

Good luck!

A.,
No sleep sucks!! I have a seven month old right now that is having similar problems. Reflux and food allergies. It is so hard to know when you put them down and they scream forever if they are strong willed or simply in pain. With my other son with the same problems too, I read "happy child, healthy sleep habbits" by Marc Weisbluth. Appearantly similar to Baby wise. It is a great book and totally worked. However, I didn' t realize at the time that he probably was crying because he was uncomfortable. I worry about the reflux and them getting all worked up if they really will choke! Do you have family near by or some girlfriends or neighbors that could relieve you during the day for a nap? You need sleep. I know, you know. You can get suggestions all day long from other mom's, but I think that you are the only one that truly knows your baby. Even with sleep books. I almost feel like they don't apply to high maintainance babies that have health issues. They aren't crying because they are naughty or want to drive us crazy...On that note, chances are he is going to continue to grow out of his reflux and hopefully dairy allergy and be much better. One thought...Have you tried eliminating other foods from your diet that may also be upsetting his tummy? The basics, eggs, soy, wheat, etc. It's tough, but SOOOO worth a good nights rest!! Good luck and God bless. Keep your chin up. This too will pass before you know it. Hang in there...A couple of other thoughts, sucking a binky will produce more saliva, which in turn produces more enzymes to help break down the acid in the stomach and more quickly eliminiate and empty it from his stomach. Eliminating acidic foods from your diet will also help his tummy.

I'm sorry but this scenario is absolute nuts! I fail to understand why parents follow this Baby Wise "method" Babies need to be fed on demand! They don't process food like we do-especially breastmilk. It goes thru their little systems very quickly because it is easily broken down by their system. And the trick is to feed them when they are hungry not just because they are crying. You have to interpret what he is telling you accurately. Check out the Baby Whisperer. She will help you interpret his cues better.

There is nothing wrong with a routine for baby-note I said routine not schedule. Baby will naturally fall into a routine if you help him. It is your job to teach him to sleep, not force him to fail on his own and scream alone in his room. That is plain cruel and totally against what your instincts are telling you.

How do you know the reflux is gone? Most babies don't out grow it that quickly. Try using a sleep wedge designed for cribs that goes under the sheet snugly.

Develop a routine-nurse him, bath, book, snuggle time, more nursing if needed, swaddle him if he likes that still and let him fall asleep with you. I held both of mine to sleep and they learned to sleep just fine on their own and self-soothe without letting them scream their head off.

Sleep regression is common at his age.

Try reading the baby whisperer. I used a modified version of her methods and some of Dr. Sears methods for sleep and there were very few tears. And baby needs to be older before you start sleep training!

You've got a lot of responses, and I've been through this twice, so I'll just add, this will not go on forever and when they are older, you will not regret the time you spent comforting your child. My first daughter was not a sleeper. She woke up every few hours for about 1 1/2 years--my second daughter has slept a lot better. I do not subscribe to cry it out and never tried it (for longer than a fussy 1 minute cry), but some children are sleepers and some aren't. That said, when I did night wean, I gave myself a week to do it (overnight will not work--aim to change gradually). The first three nights when she woke, I fed her for just a few minutes, less than normal. The second three, she'd already given up a feeding or two and she still awoke a couple times to eat, by the end of the week, she was waking once a night, which was okay for me. When I stopped feeding her, I would just lay next to her and cuddle and she was fine. There was no drama, no pain like so many go through. I'm sure he may be feeling your stress. Please keep in mind, you've got a lot of changes ahead of you this year including growth spurts and teething, all of which effect sleeping patterns. Children cry for a reason and you need to use your mommy instinct to decide what your child needs. It feels really awful when you ignore your child's cries only to find out they were teething or are sick. There's a lot of guilt! Hang in there, realize you are not alone and give your baby what he needs--you! It might feel like it goes forever, but this time is so, so short. And as far as thinking your child will be a bad sleeper forever: my first child, who never slept, at 2 years, decided to sleep through the night. And now does so, in her own bed, without any fuss, for 12 hours. It will get better! (I was a reader of "the no cry sleep solution" as well.)

I've got to ask. Did you try chiropractic when your baby was diagnosis with Reflux? Reflux is a fairly new term for babies, designed by the pharmaceutical companies to sell their stomach meds to another market. Hopefully, you haven't put your baby on one of those.

In years past our babies were considered gaseous or colicky. We treated colic with chamomile tea and changed our diets - if we were nursing.

If our babies were dairy intolerant - and most are - we used goat's milk not soy. Soy can cause the gas, by fermenting in the stomach. This creates more gas, not less.

Until you treat the stomach problems, your little one isn't going to sleep through the night. Find a good pediatric or family chiropractor who can re-align the body. They can also teach you baby massage that will also help with the gas.

Do your research on Babywise! After you do, you should throw the book away! Try reading Healthy Sleep, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weisbluth. We followed his methods and our bf son has been sleeping through the night since 5 months. Good luck and hang in there!

My daughters did the same thing and the only thing that helped was supplementing with an allergen free formula. Sometimes that extra supplementation is just enough to get them a full belly and keep them asleep. Especially during a growth spurt. If you are opposed to using a bottle to supplement, talk to a lactation consultant. They have a little bottle with a tube that you place next to your nipple and you and the baby hardly notice it's there. Don't give up on Babywise yet. The sleep schedule will happen BUT you have to get the eating part of it down first. The reflux issue just makes it a little harder to get the eating schedule in place. Good Luck!

BTW - Babywise was written by a real doctor! One of the other responses you received said something about Babywise not being written by a doctor. THIS IS COMPLETELY UNTRUE! It was written by Dr Robert Buchnam and he is my children's pediatrician! And he would be the first to tell you if something is not working then find something else that does. Babywise does work but extenuating circumstances like food allergies and reflux can make it difficult to do.

I think you've figured out for yourself how each child is different. I am not a big fan of babywise truthfully - I believe a baby should not run the household but that a parent's job is to listen to what our kids need individually and meet that need. Some kids temperaments can handle Babywise, others simply cant thrive under it. When a child feels safe and secure that his needs are going to be met, then he will be a calmer and more emotionally flexible baby. Schedules are a good thing but as parents, we need to learn to listen - especially with a child with a health problem. At 5 mos, you can let your child "cry it out" for a couple of minutes but never ever ever for 60 minutes. I knew when to check on my kids, even when they woke up at night. There were times I would hear them cry but I would listen to see if it was a pain cry or a panic cry - those sound much different from a fussy cry. I also listened to see if it escalated - sometimes it did and I would go check.

I would recommend reading the Baby Whisperer book by Tracy Hogg RN. She has great chapters in there on feeding issues and sleep issues as well as a test to discover your baby's natural temperament.

If your child has reflux then feeding is probably very soothing. I can personally tell you that it is really painful. Both of my boys had reflux issues as well. About every 4-6 weeks you can also expect your baby to have a growth spurt and require additional feedings. You may also find that they will cluster feed.

You have to trust your mommy instincts for each of your kids. I think you're writing today because you are trying to fit your little one into a template that isnt working for him. Be willing to listen and do what works for your child.

Case in point - my boys could not be farther apart in temperament. My first is sensitive and high strung. My second is very laid back. My first liked his binky, second hated it. My first needed a lot of help getting to sleep, my second fell asleep at the breast no matter what I did to wake him. My first liked a very long bedtime, my second was happiest when he could lay down with a bottle fully awake and go to sleep on his own. It would have been impossible and truthfully caused me brain damage to try to do exactly the same routine with both of them because they are different people.

I hope you read the Baby Whisperer book -

C.

I'm so sorry you're tired--that makes everything seem awful.
There's a middle-of-the-first-year growth spurt I bet your baby is hitting. That very real need for extra calories, combined with the natural, biological need for security and comfort from you makes his desperate cries for you seem pretty legitimate. I know you're tired, so it seems counterproductive for him to be wasting all those calories and getting so worked up crying and crying. He's not trying to manipulate you, he's trying to tell you he needs you. How great that he already knows to turn to people instead of things for real comfort--so many folks have that one backwards.
I suspect this "method" "works" for many babies because those babies are not as determined as your son--that's actually quite wonderful! You didn't want to raise a doormat who rolls over to negative peer pressure, did you? Your son does not tolerate disrespect well, and will work hard to make sure the people he loves know what he needs. Sounds very healthy and positive to me!
For self-preservation, consider simply meeting his needs. The sooner and more thoroughly needs are met, the sooner they can be outgrown.
It really is OK to just nurse him--you know it works to soothe him, it is completely healthy, it would get you some rest, and it would match the American Academy of Pediatrics' recommendation to breastfeed for at least the first year. Consider having him sleep near you for the next week or so so the up-and-down at night is minimized.
Babies are resilient and every day is a new milestone. Loving you is not a bad habit--it's what he is biologically programmed to do. And being bothered by his crying doesn't make you weak, it makes you a wise, intuitive mother. Whatever you're dealing with this week will be different by next week, so consider taking it day by day so you can get some rest (and keep your hair!)
If you really need a "method," consider reading "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. I know several mothers who say it saved their sanity because they, too, needed to be at work. It's true there's nothing wrong with having a routine, but when a schedule by any name ignores needs and is inflexible, well, that's a set-up for failure to thrive--for the whole family.
Babies are for loving. My sincerest best wishes.

I successfully used Babywise on my son, but he was a bit younger than yours. Know that you don't have to follow everything to the letter. Everyone that I know that used it, used their "version" of it. There is also an online support that you can access and have someone contact you if you have specific questions.
As far as the negativity on the book, it seems to only focus on those people that didn't use common sense and neglected their child. I don't believe that there is anything dangerous or wrong with this methodology.
I started slowly with the process - the sleep, feed, wake part, then the self soothe part once he understood the routine, etc. I remember when I first started, I got overwhelmed and tried to do too much. Slow and consistent is really the answer in whatever methodology you decide on. Good luck.

I feel for u. I used the bab whisperer which falls somehwere between CIO and demand feeding. What is good about this method is u get to hug or pat the child. I am not sure I did it by the book exactly when my guy was 10 weeks I let him cry for 5 minutes and the I picked him up for about one minute. The key was to keep putting him down. I think they realize that they can't fall asleep on you. I was super firm the first time knowing if I gave in it would be harder the next time. It was a hard process and took about 3 hours the first time. ( the goal being that they get to sleep not that they sleep for very long) the next night I think it took about an hour and a half and the next night around 20 minutes. I hate to curse it but my guy slept 8-10 after that. After about 3 months he was sleeping for 12 hours exclusively breastfeed.( I gave up milk/soy and other gassy foods) At 4 months we moved and he woke up every hour and I was sure it was the move but then I discovered teeth. So your guy might be teething? I responded not to brag but because I think that method was good for the baby and the mom( although it is a work out at first). Check out their website because the method is a bit different as the baby gets older. I have had trouble with naps and used CIO starting at 6 months and I feel your pain. It is so hard to let them cry.

Your baby isn't going to waking up every 1.5 for the rest of his life. This is temporary. Take a deep breath, treat him how YOU would want to be treated (would you want to be alone, crying, without comfort from your mom?) He's just little. This will pass. Breathe peace and comfort your baby. You'll never feel guilt about that.

Babywise does not work and really should not even be attempted, especially with an infant.
Has anyone tried the principles from The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp? I used them for my second baby and they worked wonders. I am planning on using them with my third, due anytime now.
I'd love to hear your experiences with it.

My doctor told me to always follow babies cues as to when to feed. To me it sounds like your baby is going through a growth spurt and NEEDS to eat! I don't know a whole lot about this method you are using, but I do know that there have been many mom's who have had children not grow and become malnurished due to this schedule. I personally think it is awful for children. How can they grow if they don't eat? Babies are not made to go hours on end without eating. They are growing very fast and their bodies need lots of fueling. I bet if you start feeding him when he wakes up then he will be a much happier baby and once through the growth spurt will start sleeping a little longer. You will actually get more rest too, cause you'll just nurse him 20min or so and put him back to bed.

I hope that you find something that really works! You need your sleep, and so does baby.

Well, I see below that there are many responses that are not in favor of Babywise. While everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I have had much success with Babywise with all five of my children. I have three year old quadruplets and a one year old. Sorry to those of you who are so negative about Babywise, but it ABSOLUTELY works!! I have many friends, both with singles and with multiples, who have used this method with FABULOUS results. While it may not be written by a doctor, there is nothing wrong with scheduling and routine. I did not refer to the book for the breastfeeding section, especially with the quads, but the method of waking, eating, playing, sleeping works very well...different from eating to sleep. The quads slept through the night by nine weeks and the baby by six weeks, all have been extremely healthy, no weight issues, and are all very happy kids.
Now, let me get off of my soapbox for a second and actually address your question. I think that in some ways it was easier with the quads especially as they were mostly bottle fed (go figure) because we found that when that excessive crying would happen, it was because they weren't eating enough during the day. Once we increased the amount of food they were getting during the day, they slept better. You may also need to increase the "awake time" to ensure that he is tired. We did have a time each day that was a "fussy" time where they cried more. If you want to stick with Babywise, my husband and I would love to help if you'd like to e-mail me. We've actually "coached" several of our friends through this, and they've been successful as well. Good luck!

Five months and nine months are both very common times for sleep regressions. I nearly lost my mind the first time around during both those phases. Both of my daughters had reflux (one had the projectile form, the other had the "silent" form that burned just as much on the way down).

Each of my girls had different personalities and needs for sleep. A baby wise-type approach worked well with the first one who needed to blow off some steam to settle down. But my second daughter only escalated. I found that going in for a brief hug and soothing worked more often than not. But I did limit that and tried to really read her cues.

Check out askmoxie.org for some great information and tips on sleep regressions and coping.

Haven't read through the responses, so if this is a repeat, my apologies. Nursing students, psych students, and premed classes in all of the universities I know personally put out a yearly warning against Babywise... it's caused so many problems (health complications leading to deaths, brain damage, failure to thrive, etc. in both infants and young children). No other book gets the "Tell all of your patients to avoid this book like the plauge" speech. Just that one. Sorry I don't have time for details at the moment... but DO check out the following website:

http://www.ezzo.info/index.htm

First of all, "On Becoming Babywise" was written by a man named Gary Ezzo, a Christian minister, with some very odd ideas. You can find out more about him and this controversial method just by doing some research online. It is not good for most babies (I know there are exceptions and some people rave about how wonderful it is) but it seems obvious that it is not working for your baby.

There is nothing normal or acceptable about letting a small baby cry for over an hour. Please stop and try something else! I recommend "The No Cry Sleep Solution" (by Pantley) or "Nighttime Parenting" (by Sears). I borrowed a number of books from the library and then bought the ones I liked best. There are gentler ways to help your child learn to sleep on his own. Also, some babies simply are not self-soothers! (The oldest of my four was one of them.)

Listen to your baby, respond to his needs - even it is a need to be held or to nurse. Your baby needs to be able to trust that you will respond to him. If you can put off going back to work until he is at least a year old, that would be better as well. As he grows into a toddler, he'll begin to understand limits. Right now he's a baby and can only communicate his needs to you with his cry.

I had that issue with my little guy and after about 3 days of a strict routine he was sleeping 7 hours and about then at 8 months he started sleeping almost 10 hours a night. My trick (Altho sounds stupid) Was Lavender baby wash &lotion every night! He would get his bath and lotion rub down at about 8 and was OUT by 8:30!!!! I also know about 10 other moms this worked for. But you have to be consistent with routine including feeding and naps and never give a nap within 5 hours of bed time..... my son is now 19 months old and we still do bath and baby massage at 8 and he goes to bed at 9 he sleeps until about 7:00-8:00 every morning. He then takes a nap at 12:30 to about 1:45 every day. You'd be surprised what a set schedule can do I even know when he is going to poop lol. Hope this helps and good luck IT ONLY GETS MORE FUN!!! WAIT TILL HE'S WALKING!

I don't have any answers for you because we are going through the same thing with our 6 month old- waking up every hour to 2 hours!! I'm dying too. She has been doing this for a month now but I think the big culprit is teeth- she just got 6 of them all within a month! So could it be teething?? Now I think she is just in a bad habit and I'm looking for a solution too. Good luck! I think I'm going to try what Jana S suggested as well as a few other things some people said.

I do own the Babywise book and I did only take from it the schedule- eat, play, sleep. It seems to help!

Good luck and thanks for asking the question, I need advice too!

I recommend Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. It starts where Babywise leaves off with practical advice and solutions for sleep problems. It gives you actual "how to's" whereas Babywise will just say something like "most four month olds will be sleeping 9 hours." Well, my first child was spot on with Babywise - one of those "most four month olds" but my second absolutely was not! So then what? I think you will find what you're looking for in this book. It's written by a pediatrician who specializes in sleep problems and it's research based. It's my standard baby shower gift!

Please don't make him cry it out!!! Studies have shown this is not good for babies! Truly....
Why not feed on demand like you were??
I have a 20 month old an 5 month old and both were/are fed on demand and both sleep great now! The first few months are a learnng process, but you just keep putting them to bed at certain times an stick to a routine and they do catch on! They are both happy and healthy and sleep like champs. I have no magic pill, I just listened to my heart and knew that crying it out is just wrong!
Follow your heart!

You're definitely on the right track with compassionate response techniques instead of CIO methods. I liked "No-Cry" but I also really liked "The Baby Whisperer Solves All your Problems...". Check it out. It's great when you are trying to re-train instead of starting from day one. I think my son was 4 or 5 months old when he started having nap issues and I found this book.
On the other hand, my second son was up every 1.5-2 hours until he was 9 months old no matter what I read and tried (though I never did try any CIO training) and the only thing that changed it was putting him in his own room. I really wanted kids who co-slept and neither did well, but #2 turned out to just REALLY need his own quiet room. So, if you are co-sleeping or he's next to the bed, try moving him. If he's in his own room, trying putting him next to your bed or in your bed.
Good Luck:)

I liked baby wise too, but it does not take into account these are little people and they all will respond differently. I tried it until frustration on my son and gave up. I took suggestions from the book and didn't try to follow it so strickly and did a little better and at 4 months he kind of naturally fell into his own schedule. My daughter I didn't even try as I felt like I was so focused on baby wiseing my son that I missed the first two months completely. I demand fed her and she fell in to her own schedule at about five or six months. I think this was because she had bad gas problems and would barf up whole bottles if not burped several times durring feeding. Eventuallu we started useing Dr. Browns bottles and formula with rice starch and that seemed to help a little until she outgrew it. Crying for an hour seems a bit long I never let my little ones go over 20min. I felt like they needed something if only to be held if the cried for that long. They both self sooth and do well sleeping all night . I think all kids are individuals and you have to follow your heart and thake the books as helpful suggestions (like a surrogate mother-in-law).

Have you tried just giving him water at night, my daughter used to wake everynight and after a few days of just being offered water didn't feel the need to wake up.

Instead of trying babywise look in to Dr Sears Baby Sleep Book or The No Cry Sleep Method. Hang in there it can be tough when you don't get enough sleep to maintain your wits.

Have you thought about letting him co-sleep with you so he isn't so scared? I can imagine why he is scared. Waking up in pain all the time with reflux would be frightening. Maybe he just wants to wake up somewhere safe like next to you?

Good luck!

If you cannot handle to hear him cry like that, then don't do it. There are other ways of getting a child to fall asleep by himself than that. I've let some cry theirselves to sleep, but not cry for that long. Others I have sat by their cribs, rubbing their back until they fell asleep. After a few days I would just lay my hand on them, then sit next to the crib, and just move farther away from the crib until they could fall asleep by themselves. I've also brought them into bed to sleep with me, just so I can get more sleep during the night. I've found that once they can fall asleep by themselves, they can put themselves back to sleep during the night a little easier. Good luck. You are not alone in dealing with these sleep issues.