Hi S.,
I actually live in Orange County Califronia, Laguna Beach but will be moving to Kingwood in a few weeks so I switched my Mamasource to Texas before we get there. I have had nannies for the last three years, and my last nanny that i just let go because I finally decided to be a stay at home mom, we paid her 12$ and hour. Now the cost of living here is much more (in some ways, we pay 10% income tax here!! it's unbelievable!) Anyway, my husband is being transferred to Houston. So here's what I learned. When I hired my last nanny I was working for Microsoft from home, so I was in the home at all times usually unless I had a doctors appt. etc. What I did was ask her to be a "Mother's Helper" meaning that whatever I needed her to do at any given time was what her job duties included. She is an absolute angel and since I was a manager I was able to create my own schedule and schedule my meetings that fit my schedule and wasn't at the beckon call of a boss. I paid by the hour only because some days, you just want to be with your children alone and you'd like to send them home! And who wants to pay for time not worked? So flat rates in my opinion are not a good idea. 60 dollars a half day is ridiculous, and I do not mean to sound offensive at ALL. Miss Alyse, is our nannies name, and she was told that our most important concerns were that our daughter go outside for excercise morning and afternoon, even for just and hour. The second concern was that her schedule was maintained to a tee. Now aside from these things, when it was raining or they had free time, my expectations (which were conveyed up front) were that she do crafts and other stimulating activities. But during our daughters nap, I actually ate lunch with her, or would let her nap on the couch, and even Tivo'd her favorite soap opera so that she could watch it then- that was ONLY if there wasn't laundry to be folded or something else quietly that she could do. Our nanny would take my daughter to the grocery store, I trusted her with my credit card and she would take it and do all of our family's shopping. My daughter loved to go to the store and it was a huge help for me. I also allowed her to take my daughter to the car wash, another thing she loved to do, for my nanny to get her car washed. Somedays, Miss Alyse would be sick, tired, or worn out, and we would switch roles, where I would take our daughter to the pool and Miss Alyse would cook dinner for us. Of course only the dinners that I taught her to make that our family ate. She would mop the floor, fold clothes, do all the dishes, and I absolutely expected that she clean up after any activities that they did together. This was heaven on earth. The point is, for 12 dollars and hour I had a beautiful young girl who loved my daughter and who my daughter adored, who would pick up what ever loose ends I couldn't handle, on top of looking after my daughter which was her first priority. This worked out beautifully and there really is something to be said for giving her the respect that she deserves, and I do not think you are not doing this, it's just some advice for your FUTURE nanny!!! Ask for a mother's helper, it's a great way to sort of outline the idea that you need HELP!! Not just a child's bodyguard. You need help around the house, with cooking, cleaning, and whatever other chores mothers do that take so much time and energy, hence why you need hired help. I would let her buy the things while she was at the store that she liked to eat, as well as let her look through craft books to let me know what I could purchase for her to have nice ideas for indoor activities, like magic mud, etc.
So, 10-12 dollars an hour is more than generous, because everyone needs to make a living, but make sure that you are getting your money's worth. My last and most important tip is make sure that you hire someone who does not have many "overhead" costs of their own. Our previous nanny was married with a mortgage and lots of bills, and once these people become part of your family, as they should being the caretakers of your children, I had an incident where Jacqui had a tree fall in her driveway during a storm and her insurance wouldn't cover it. She was in a position where she really needed money, and since I cared for her as a friend, I felt so guilty that I couldn't give her more money, but of course, we all have our own expenses, but it was a tough position. Miss Alyse was 23 years old, and lived with two other girlfriends, and pretty much only needed money to pay her rent, cell phone, utilities and gas, as well as clothes and getting her nails done- so she was ecstatic to be being paid 12/hr. That's how you want your nanny to feel, not that they are constantly in need of MORE money. The fact that your nanny was complaining is a very bad sign, and if she doesn't treat your children like the top priority (as if they were her own) by way of excercise and development, then she is not worth 10 dollars an hour.
It's very tricky to manage another woman in your home- but it is a two way street. You WANT to keep them happy because your most prized possesion is in their hands. But you also need to feel that you are secure finacially and that you feel your children are getting the best possible care out there.
I wish I could transport Miss Alyse to Texas because she just quit her job!!! We never gave her bonus' nor did we do benefits or paid holidays, but we were super cool when she was ill, or going on vacation, or just having a bad day.
I would ask any nanny for a resume, references, their ss#, ask them to sign a doc. allowing you to run a background check for driving records and (god forbid run-ins with the law) as well as spell out very EXPLICITLY what you'd like to have done around the house upfront!
It is possible to have a wonderful situation with a nanny in the home, but like I said, it's a two way street. You have to keep them happy and comfortable. And when this "cocktail" occurs, you will be in heaven for the help you are receiving.
When I let her go, I had to call her for weeks after asking her how to cook certain things as well as what our grocery list was, as I hadn't grocery shopped for my family in months.
I hope some of this advice helps. It sounds that you are being a bit taken advantage of, and that's not good. I am sorry to hear that. Please make the effort of finding the right fit for you, and then start enjoying life, besides, you are PAYING for it!!!
Take care,
S.
