Am I Overreacting? - Midland,TX

Well, is this the kind of husband you want? One who lives in the world of Facebook rather than being more interested in the woman who he is dating? You DO know that if you marry him, he will be LESS interested in you than he is now. When people are dating, they show the best side of themselves. You aren't going to change him. He is more interested in what other people are doing than he is in his relationship with you.

I would not continue to date someone who put me in 2nd place behind Facebook.

I recently read an article about when people play with their phones instead of interacting with the person they are with in-person. It's called 'phubbing' - phone snubbing. Not answering a call or texting back your kid, but a prolonged ignoring while looking at or doing inconsequential things. It's a problem that can happen with boyfriends, regular friends, and family too.

Sometimes people are not aware that they are doing it and will stop when you bring it to their attention. My closest friend did it once, scrolling idly through Facebook when we met up for lunch. I mentioned it and she never did it again.

Sometimes people know and don't care. That is a clear indicator that you're not as important to them as whatever they are looking at. You brought it up, your boyfriend is aware, and he does not care. His actions say that is not that into you.

If you want to give it one more try, then you need to make phones-down a condition of your spending time together. He he argues about it, or if he says he will then doesn't, it is time to end the relationship.

THAT SAID, you typed "Even now as I'm typing this and watching tv he's scrolling through his Facebook feed ignoring the show we're watching. "

You have to start this by doing the thing you want to happen. Keep your own phone/device turned off during couple-time too. You can't ask for what you don't give. Even if he is on his phone, you have to not be on yours or you have no leg to stand on to have the conversation.

My mom is like this and she's 73.It's annoying. We don't see her that often and she will spend the evening going through Facebook on her phone like it's so important. Hello? Your real life grandkids are right in front of you! I think having a date together and then bring it up as a serious conversation as something that bothers you...using lots of "I feel" statements...just to let him know this is really important to you.

Run!
This is not the kind of relationship you deserve.

Doesn't sound like much of a boyfriend to me. Why are you dating someone who just sits around on his phone all the time, and more importantly why do feel like you need his attention and compliments? If he's just not that into you stop wasting your time, live your own life, see your friends, explore your interests and hobbies.

You're watching TV AND typing on Mamapedia yet you're upset he's scrolling...

Hmm...

I'm not sure I get it. When my husband and I hang, we hang out together - it might not be for long (pretty busy around here) but it's quality time - might be 10 minutes here or there, but we're not on our devices, know what I mean? Maybe that would work better. I find you have their undivided attention :)

Also - i don't keep tabs on how many compliments I get. I don't think it works that way. I don't take selfies of my clothes or makeup though either. Maybe you're craving attention and looking for it through your boyfriend though. I think that's maybe a sign you need something in your life - that's not always something a guy can give you. Just a thought.

I've known a few people who are addicted to FaceBook.
They get anxious if they miss anything.
I suggest you two take a vacation to a remote cabin with no internet access and go cold turkey for a solid week.
You look at the trees/forest and stars at night.
You talk to each other, play board/card games, make some-mores over a camp fire.
It's fun to disconnect from the web so you re-connect with each other.

You are not being silly. Project this down the line several years into marriage and picture this: kids are clamoring for attention and dishes need to be done and you are exhausted from work and while you try to keep up with housework and entertain the kids, he's sitting on his phone as if none of this is his responsibility because he doesn't want to miss something on social media.

He would probably say that this scenario is ridiculous, but I've seen it happen. People who are addicted to "not missing anything" on their phones end up missing out on real-life relationships with their spouses and kids.

You shouldn't have to complete with a phone for your boyfriend's attention. You shouldn't have to try to think of a way to make him take you seriously. You are his girlfriend and if he doesn't already take your feelings and thoughts seriously, there is a problem. You deserve better. Think hard about that.

Welcome to mamapedia.

You were on your phone - if you look at it honestly - you were making this account and this post.

My opinion is that he's just not that into you. If you have to fight for his attention? and beg for compliments? He's just not that into you.

Move on. Find someone that is more like what you are looking for. this guy isn't it.

I'm going to go out on a limb here, but the fact you mentioned "I trust him and I know he loves me so I'm not worried about him doing something he's not supposed to" tells me the opposite. Either he has done this at some point, or you have some trust issues when it comes to him, or else, why the need to mention that in your post? And another thing I found to be a red flag was your need to get his attention, even if it's negative, by posting pictures that make him jealous. You need him to compliment you constantly. Why? Again, this goes hand-in-hand with your prior comment -- I am feeling some trust or insecurity issues from your relationship, but there's not enough of a history for us to go on. I just don't get the need for daily selfies that go out to the entire world. I could see a woman sending her friend a selfie because she is wearing the shirt her friend bought her and she wants her to see that. I can also see someone doing this for Halloween because they are wearing a costume and in the "Halloween spirit", but on a daily basis? Sounds like some extreme oversharing and need for approval from strangers. Not to mention, an obsession. I'm just saying, most people that are secure in themselves don't feel the need for daily compliments or attention, even if it's from strangers, as mamazita and Margie G. said.

I thought that B's suggestion was nice. You don't even need to go to a cabin, just spend an entire weekend without checking your feedback and posting. Can either of you do that? It'd be sad if the answer was no, considering how many thousands of people around the world do without Facebook just fine, but maybe that would be a wakeup call to you both that you're addicted to your devices and need to slowly unplug. I have to say, I agree with others that if you want him to stop with the electronics, you need to do the same. Practice what you preach, that means stop checking your Instagram selfie comments, and basically giving him the green light to also be in his own little word while the TV is playing. You may be physically together on that couch, but mentally, you're both in different worlds.

Why not discuss this with him and tell him that you feel ignored and want him to put the phone down when you're together watching a show, as will you? Designate at maximum, an hour a day while you're together to catch up on work, emails, and other mundane nonsense (like maybe while you're cooking, he can use his phone, and while he is cleaning up, you check yours), but the rest of the time, when you're together, you need to either be talking to each other or participating in activities together. If not, what is the point of having a boyfriend? Just to have a body on the couch? I don't know how long you have been together, nor how serious you are, but if he isn't willing to compromise in such a manner, then you have your answer as to the status of your relationship. Sounds to me like you both need to grow up, be adults, and lay off the electronics though, especially since they are taking a toll on your relationship. I expect this phone obsession from teens and 20-something college aged kids, not two adults playing house -- with the exception of doctors, lawyers, IT workers, or other people who may need to be on-call and have their phone available.

Move on...if you've brought it to his attention, then he perfers his phone to your company. A 12 year age difference is pretty significant--especially if you're only 18-22ish.

I get your point. Maybe you just picked up your phone before you threw it at his head!

I have even told friends that I will no longer go out shopping or to eat with them due to this social ineptness. I hate it!