My 2 year old son has started hitting when he gets really mad like when I tell him its time to put the toys away and he doesn't want to. He gets this look of fury and then takes a swat at me. I in turn get a LOOK on my face and tell him sternly "no hitting" and then carry through with what he didn't want to do (i.e. I take the toy away). It's his one swat and then my "no hitting" spiel and then that's it. He sits there angry and sometimes he cries. I tell him it's OK to be angry but we don't hit and then I ask him to tell me he's sorry but he doesn't. Sometimes he'll caress my hand to say he's sorry. If he doesn't say sorry or caress me, I just let it go and let him sit there and then when he's in a better mood, we carry on as if nothing happened. Am I handling this correctly? I'm not sure how to discipline further since he's only 2. My friend swats her daughter's hand when she hits but I really don't believe hitting back teaches a kid not to hit. Or at least, thats not how I want to do it. Thanks for your opinions!
I think the only thing you should add to what you're doing is to give him a time out. If he won't sit still on a seat, put him in his room w/ the door shut. Stand outside the door and when the 2 minutes is up, say I'd like for you to come out if you're ready to be nice to mommy. And if he's calm then let him out, and drop it. He knows what he's doing.
I think you are going about it the right way.
I think hitting back sends mixed messages and totally thwarts all you are
trying to teach.
Perfect! Don't hit him - it's confusing and ineffective.
I think it's good to teach kids (especially boys) to say sorry, but at 2, I don't think you need to focus on the "sorry" part of it. Sometimes that can drag out something that should be a quick lesson. You told him "no hitting," and he stopped hitting. So you got your required response.
Everything else you're doing is fine. Just limit the "sorry" to things that matter more.
Personally, I do believe in giving a spanking for hitting. I think that it teaches a child, that if they hit someone else, they are going to get hit back (how it works in the big wide world) and it's going to hurt.
Your way is good too though, and sounds like it's working.
I think you're doing fine.
An Infant and Child Development worker suggested this to me for my two year old and it worked. She suggested when Jill hit I should bend down to her height, hold both her hands and tell her no. After the third try, it she still hit to put her in a two minute timeout. It worked amazing for her. She was a slow talker so part of the hitting was frustration at not being able to express herself yet. It is a thought, I know it worked for us.
"No hitting" is a good start. I would add "No hitting or Time Out". If he hits you again- even if it's later in the day, Time Out.
Sometimes you can prevent the hitting if you don't do things that makes 2 year old want to hit---like instead of just saying, hey clean up, and then having bad feelings all around when he doesn't want to, you can make a game out of cleaning up.
