Am I Expecting Too Much from My Preteen?

Sounds about right to me! LOL, My nephew is 10 and he's still silly boy at times. Like others said, it's important he knows when he can be silly and when to use his manners. My son is now 17 as of this summer and I tell you honestly, sometimes I miss his younger silly self!!! It still shows through every once in a great while, but I miss the young carefree silly he used to be.

i think there's a large middle ground here. yeah, you can lighten up a bit and let your still-young son be a goof. light-heartedness is severely lacking in the world today. if there's true joy underlying the buffoonery and he's not hurting anyone, let him catapult.

that being said, there's nothing wrong with imposing a few maternal boundaries. if he's being super annoying, or breaking things, or being ridiculously noisy when you're feeling grouchy and need a little peace, or he can't seem to get a handle on his behavior, then rein him in.

there's a time for everything. surely he can be a boingy silly kid sometimes, and still understand that sometimes mom needs him to zip it.

khairete
S.

First of all, don’t beat yourself up - you might have had a snippy moment this morning, but, you immediately came on here to “confess”!

I think there’s an analogy here to that old phrase “use your indoor voice”. Something along the lines of “use your at home with mom voice”.

Ultimately it is good parenting to help your son to distinguish “appropriate time and place” for various behaviors. For example - plenty of grown men with good jobs, wealthy well-educated men, say “the f word”. That does NOT mean that those men’s mothers have to tolerate it in their presence.

Your son is not “doing anything wrong” in the grand scheme of things. You just don’t need it giving you a headache in the mornings.

Sending you strength against “the sillies”, mom - summer vacation is almost over!!

You are both completely normal! My 10 & 13 year olds act like this sometimes, and it can get on my nerves!!! Sometimes I have to remind myself that if they are driving me crazy, maybe the answer isn't that they are doing something they shouldn't do. Maybe it's more of "not here" or "not now" or "Ok, you can do this here and now but I need to go somewhere else!"

I love that Cha Cha said summer vacation is almost over! I'm counting the days :-)

Yep - you’re expecting too much. Take it from a mom with boys in their 20’s. When this phase is over, you will really miss it. Enjoy it while it lasts!

My daughter is about to turn 10...sounds normal to me! However when she starts acting in a way I do not like due to a certain Youtube video I have her stop watching that channel. This happened once with a girl on Youtube who likes to go on long rants about things that bug her. When my daughter started acting all judgemental and going on her own rants (completely copying this girl) I had her stop watching that. I actually now limit Youtube a lot in our house and she can watch a cartoon instead.

Sounds like a normal boy to me. And they don't outgrow it, which is fine. Why not be goofy, silly, active and have fun? If it gets too much and is disruptive and annoying, address that in the moment (I'm concentrating on something and you're distracting me, please go outside...your brother is taking a nap, please be more quiet, etc.) but I wouldn't push back on what is totally normal and developmentally appropriate behavior.

10 year olds ARE buffoons! That's part of the fun.
My almost 14 year old used to make this goat sound. Drove me batty! They jumped all around, wrestled, loud voices, silly, grumpy...
Our job as parents is to gently guide them, but also allow them to be themselves at home. To get their Ya'yas out. To be silly. And still love them.

He sounds like a normal 10 yr old to me.
What we told our son from a young age was "there's a time and place for playing around like that and here and now isn't it".
Running around, throwing anything, etc - take it outside.
In stores and malls, public in general and school we act like young gentlemen and watch our manners.
The playground is for climbing, swinging, spinning in circles, etc.
If some general energy needs some burning off - everybody go for a walk.
Bring a wagon so the 3 yr old can ride when he gets tired and the 10 yr old can pull him some of the time.

If you think Youtube is not a good influence or is compounding the problem, try blocking it for awhile until he can watch without imitating it.
Every parent gets tired and sometimes snaps when we don't mean to.
Cut yourself some slack.
But if you are tired, enlist your energetic 10 yr old in helping you around the house and everybody takes a nap or has some quiet time sometime so being tired doesn't overwhelm you as much.

I can think of a number of parents who could have written your post. Many are annoyed at the antics. But I also think of the parents of Steve Martin, Gilda Radner, Martin Short, Sarah Silverman, Robin Williams, Wanda Sykes, Amy Schumer and all of the Marx Brothers. How awful it would have been to stifle that comic genius!

I think you can try to celebrate it, but also have a code word/phrase that nicely says "Dial it down." Sort of like when we say "Inside voices, please" to kids. If yours knows that there is a time and a place for creativity and buffoonery, and a time for decorum (the classroom, church, a funeral,Thanksgiving dinner, or while you're on the phone), I say, let it go. If he's entertaining himself or your little one, and if he's not being cruel in making fun of someone, fine. Your little one can learn the same code words, and your older child can be the role model in showing him how/when to stop. Like playing "Freeze Tag," you know? Or when a parent says "STOP!" at the curb, and there is no going beyond that and into traffic.

If he can't control it, that's another story. But we have kids stuck on their electronic devices that they don't get up and exercise and do creative things, so I guess I'd be more enchanted than annoyed.

My 17 year old was like that and still if a major goofball. There are still times that I tell him that noise is so annoying stop. But like others have said make sure he knows there is a time and place to be goofy. I have always gotten nothing but complements on both my sons when they go places on how well behaved they are and I would look at them and ask are you talking about my boys? They have always known how to be in public.

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My 17 year old was like that and still if a major goofball. There are still times that I tell him that noise is so annoying stop. But like others have said make sure he knows there is a time and place to be goofy. I have always gotten nothing but complements on both my sons when they go places on how well behaved they are and I would look at them and ask are you talking about my boys? They have always known how to be in public.

Why is joy annoying? I think we should all be less concerned about what other people might think of us and all put a little more joy and laughter in our lives. Your son is doing things right.

I think it is better to stop letting him watch these videos on YouTube. I have a thirteen year old who was the same when she was ten, so I limited her screen time.
张燕怡