Am I Being Too Harsh?

Absolutely not! What happens when the baby comes? You'll definitely need him them. You should sit down and talk to him and try to resolve it. Hope that helps :-)

Let me tell you a quick answer that my wonderful mother told me one day, when I was complaining to her that I felt "like I'm raising these children all by myself" (because my husband worked so much)....she simply said: "How do you think he feels?" and left it at that. Enough said! As many other moms wisely told you, it's all about the partnership, every single day, for at least the next 18 years!

you want....he wants. Not always the same thing! Please find a way to be comfortable with yourself...don't spend your life waiting for him to be your companion. He's comfortable watching his games, you need to find a comfort zone for yourself. It would have been a perfect time to spend the afternoon with a girlfriend, with a close relative......

If your S.O. works a ton of hours & only has Sunday to relax, then let him have some Peace! It's his only way to reboot for the upcoming week! Time to be a big girl!!

I love Sunday because I have it to myself! I HATE football. I can't even stand the sound of the commentators talking or anything about it, I don't go near the living room when it's on. I'm cheerful and supportive of it, and I think its so fun to see the hubs (NOT an athlete) enjoying it. My husband travels a lot, so it's not like we're together all the time anyway, but I don't have a problem letting him check out from life's responsibilities and watch football because I have so many things to do, it gives me that time too. I always feel like I get caught up on a lot on Sunday-go do errands, talk on the phone a long time to friends, paint and work on projects, hang out with any kids who aren't near the TV, make a special dinner without being bugged in the kitchen. I put my son in a Steelers jersey, bring snacks to them occasionally and stay the heck outta there. Granted, we're married, been together 10 years, have 3 young kids, and don't have the same need for "quality date time" on Sunday as you may have. BUT. When we were expecting our first, I wrote "Steelers" on every onesie in a newborn pack with a sharpie in case the baby came on a Sunday.

I heard somewhere when a man was telling another man why he liked older women better, and he said, "A young woman will guilt you to death for not spending enough quality time with her all the time, and an older one will let you watch football". Sort of true!

If Sunday is the only day you have with him, then I can see how you may need his focus all day long (you spent plenty of time together that day already in our world), and you should set up a fair exchange so he does enough things with you vs the games. Otherwise, embrace football day for him and do stuff together other days. At least you like football and can snuggle with him a little during it.

Imagine how he would describe this to his friends. He'd probably say something like, "She's always known that Sunday is football day. I want her there with me. I don't send her away and tell her it's guy time, I ask her to watch with me, but she gets upset. I already had breakfast with her, went shopping with her, and spent half the day with her - what more does she want? This is my only day off - I should be able to spend at least half of it doing what I want! And it'll only get harder when the baby comes!" Seeing it from his side will give you some perspective. Don't try to figure out who's "right" or "wrong" - each of you is entitled to your feelings, but you have to reach a compromise. In a compromise, everyone gives up something. This time, you gave up a walk and a nap - is your relationship worth a walk and a nap?

Your body is being pumped full of hormones - everything's going to seem like a HUGE deal for a while. Hang in there!

It sounds like you had a really nice morning. He may have thought you had already had your time together and didn't feel like going for a walk. But, I think he should not have agreed to a walk if he had no intention. Men aren't like us and they do not want to spend all day with us like we may like to spend with them. So to answer your questions, should you be upset b/c he said he would go on a walk and did not - yes, but only upset NOT mad. It surely doesn't warrant not speaking to him or sleeping in a different room.

My husband is sitting here and says, "He went shopping with her, that should count for a lot!" So there you go, words from the peanut gallery :)

as the saying goes - plant your own garden instead of waiting for someone else to bring you flowers.

You spent hours with him doing things that you enjoyed that day. Breakfast/movie/friends/shopping/etc.

How much more did you need before he could go do something HE wanted to do? You also got to read a book and go for a nice walk by yourself! I can't even imagine that kind of a Sunday!! You are in for a rude awakening when the baby arrives. It will never be all about you ever again. It will be all about the baby.

Giving him the silent treatment is very immature. Your life is about to get so much more difficult and complicated. You'd better figure out how to handle things better now before the baby arrives.

I hate to say this but if you think it is bad now....it is nothing compared to how you will feel once you have a baby! Not only will you want him to spend time with you on Sun-you will want him to be with your child. You guys need to come up with some kind of compromise now. hopefully football is his only sport-at least it has a limited season.

I am a sports widow as well. We spend lots of time together, but not on Sunday. Men love football......I do not. I always have other things to do that I enjoy when he is engrossed in a game. My opinion is why does everything in the day have to be so planned out. You even planned the nap...LOL! I do not really see why your mad, you did spend most of the day doing things together. If you like football join the fun with your bf and friends. As long as you get your quality time together before or after the game. Please remember if this is his only day off, he does need down time as well to just sit and veg out. Please do not think I am totally taking his side, just a little on his side.

I am not a sports widow, but am married to a work-a-holic and someone with a blackberry superglued to his hand! I have to admit that "blackberry" was one of my sons first audibly clear words!!!! When he was old enough I had to explain that a blackberry is actually a FRUIT!!!
I hate to highlight it, but if he's like that now, I do have my doubts as to whether he will change once baby arrives. Mine hasn't, although as the children have gotten older he is at least a little more accommodating to them. I figure he does work hard for us, so I should be a little more understanding .... but ** I work hard at home with the kids too! I'd love to sit and watch an uninterrupted show!!
You aren't being unreasonable, but try to "let it go", the pent up stress isn't doing baby or you any good plus hormones are probably egging it all along.
Just don't hold your breath that it's going to change anytime soon. If you love him you'll just have to love him with all his faults and misgivings!! Now....I must heed a little of my own advice!
Good luck with your new job promotion in March next year by the way!

I would be upset also, but I do think you should let it go. It's not good for you or the baby to hang on to anger for any reason. It'll only lead to more problems like depression and resentment of your boyfriend. Tell him how upset you are and that next week you won't tolerate being ignored, have a good hug and kiss...I mean a really good one, then let it go!! Good luck to you!

He has worked all week and wants to watch football. Yes, you only have one day with him and you deserve his attention. but it sounds like he really wanted to just spend the entire day watching football..

You had breakfast together, you watched a movie and went shopping at
Babies R Us.. (Yuck, I cannot even stand that) so he did spend time with you doing the things you wanted. He thought he could so everything that you wanted for that day, but got side tracked..

It is up to you, if you want to spend days being pissed about it.

Being a couple does take give and take on both sides and being pregnant also makes us want more attention. You 2 are in an unusual situation since he is gone 6 days a week. You will both have to figure out how that can be worked out. I do not know how long you have been a couple, but I will tell you, my husband and I were married 10 years before we had a child and even then,..it took a lot of calm discussions and learning how to talk WITH each other, so that I did not injure him (hee, hee).

BEFORE the baby gets here, begin discussions about EVERYTHING. This can be done through letters, and through conversations.

I was always reminding my husband there would be no more sleeping in for YEARS.
There would be no more just dashing out at any moment to go and have fun, possibly for years.. No more spending money willy nilly.. That I already had a short fuse, I was going to be 10 times worse with no sleep..

Also I told him I would always love him, even if I was yelling, crying and having a melt down.. To please be patient with me.. and I promised to do the same for him.

My husband had his own issues that he was dealing with. He had never held a child, he was freaked out with the financial aspects. His work was very stressful and to stay on top, he would be expected to continue to work at any moment at their pleasure.. no excuses about a baby.. All of these things helped us keep it together over all of these years. We can just look at each other and know what we are each thinking.. We do not set up traps for the other. We know we are a team and support each other no matter what, but we also know there are times one of us, or maybe both of us, just need a selfish moment or time.. and we suck it up for the other..

Pick your battles.. there are going to be many. Look at your boyfriend and be honest about who he is right now. HE WILL NEVER CHANGE. Just like you will never change. You will both grow into parents, but you will each be your own version of a parent. Learn to speak WITH each other. Ask for what you want, but know that just because you want it, does not mean he will want to fulfill all of it.. Same for you..

Beyond just this day, you two are going to have a baby that soon becomes a busy toddler. If he doesn't have time for just you now, how will he have time for a child???

I strongly suggest you guys talk this out and get some ground rules set so that you support each other and your little one. If you can't figure it out, get books or some counseling NOW and you will save yourself possibly years of upset and problems.

Take this as the warning light on your car and have your engine checked, not just your dashboard light. (I should put this into a sports analogy instead of a car analogy, but hopefully you get the idea.) This is a sign of a much bigger issue.

p.s. check into something like TiVo. It saves time and allows the TV to wait until you're ready for it.

You probably need to discuss how you will manage your time together/apart now when you are both feeling calm/not angry. Not as an indictment of football, but because the little bit of free time you have now is going away very soon and you probably don't want to spend all your Sundays taking care of DD while DP watches football. Especially if you are planning to follow the current American Academy of Pediatrics recommendations which are no screen time for kids under 2.
Good luck,
D.

I really don't think you are over reacting at all. Even though I am sure he must need his time to relax in his only day off, he has to understand that you are alone most of the time and would love to do things together.
It's just a matter of managing the time better, let's say he can watch the game in the morning and then he can dedicate the afternoon to hang out with you. If he really wants to watch all the games maybe you can record them and after you go to the park, or go out to eat, or just hang out you can watch it together at night time while you are in bed.
I also think he is being very immature by wanting to spend all his free time (which is limited) in front of the TV watching games and with his friends without considering that you are also there and you also want to do things with him as a family (with the little one still in the oven).
And I guess getting another day off is not an option now that you are having the baby, but if he could take one at least once in a while or even a morning off sometimes it could work too.

Whoa! This is a red flag. I'm thinking you need to fill YOUR time with ALL of the things you like to do--not just watching football with him....as Kristi said, learn to plant your own garden or it's going to be a long life!

you made it known to him what you wanted and you both agreed to it and he changed the program anyway. you have the right to be irked. by giving him the silent treatment you are showing that he broke that set boundary. i'd stay quiet until he apologizes and promises not to do it again. if he does it again knowing that he'll get the silent treatment THEN you have a problem, he will be showing you that "he just doesnt give a damn about your feelings during football season". what you will do with that info is up to you. i watch all the games with my ol' man, if i want to go do something else i just know it's gonna be without him in tow.... and that's the way my world goes round.

Your husband may feel that you are trying to steal his male bonding time. At this point his age is really unimportant - you both are having this baby - even tho i know you feel alone. The only thing that will get his attention is silence, not the silence of not talking at all , just on Sundays. You have to walk and stretch to prepare yourself for the big day. He knows each and every sunday you will ask for his time and you know that each and every Sunday he will watch football, let it go and focus more on you and the new life you are bringing into this world. You have to think further into the future than Sunday. Are you able to care for you and your baby if- perhaps this relationship doesn't work out? Where can you go if you decide you are leaving him because of the lack of care he has shown you and the baby? Can you deal with him and his friends each and every Sunday watching football while the baby and you are relaxing? Do the males have wives or girlfriends that you can invite over and have a girls Sensual sundays with? Is his friends all single or doesnt have kids?This fight/ misunderstanding has the potential to break you guys up if its not talked about with him as well as with his friends. I know some will say at least hes at home- ok but when hes at home what is he doing - watching football. You have to sit him down and take him to the doctor with you as well so that he can be informed that this is the most important part of your child's life- her developing period, and that added stress like this is not helping and can only do more harm than good. Now run you a warm bath with a warm drink of non alcohol, not caffeine and soak away for an hour or so and relax your mind. Cuddle up with a great book and a lil teddy bear you like that makes you feel hugged and plan your day around that. Giving him too much attention about sunday football is really hurting your realtionship instead of helping. Get with your friends and let him have his sundays and see just how many of those sundays he would want if you pay it no attention , leave and enjoy yourself and then come home happy as you were the day you two met., and the day you found out it is a girl. :)

I believe you are being way to harsh. He spent the morning with you watching a movie and going shopping (which for my husband and sons is a form of torture). If you need to be with him set down and watch the game with him. He has 1 day a week off and really needs some time for himself. By refusing to speak to him you are being imature you need to talk or chances are he really has no idea what the problem is. But you need to listen to him also as he may feel like doing what you wanted for half the day he then should have been able to do what he wanted the rest.

it's normal to want quality time dunno what to tell you besides maybe tell him, between this time and this time is "OUR" time, friends and tv is off limits (or whatever)

Football widows? Is that what they call it? My husband LOVES to watch football, but this would bother me as he agreed to watch the later game and to do something with you before hand.

Basically, by going shopping with you, he voluntary subjected himself to torture LOL :)