Alone time...feeling Guilty : (

In order for you to "give him the best" you need to make absolutely SURE that you get time alone for yourself. You became a mother, you didn't abandon your entire sense of self. You are simply adding another hat to wear: woman, wife, friend, daughter, sibling, and now mother.

Keep giving yourself the gift of "you time" because you deserve it. You also need to sanity break, especially when your little angel hits the terrible twos and learns how to throw a tantrum!

You're doing a great job but it is important for you to get time alone from your child. Schedule it and don't look back!

Haha! This is a new first baby, right.? Congrats!

This guilt will ease over time.

Here's another idea: when BF gets home--LEAVE for an hour. It will feel like a week in the Bahamas!

And keeping an eye with a video monitor is perfectly OK!

EVERYONE needs time for themselves. That makes us GOOD mothers!

Good moms know how to take care of their children's mama!!! All for alone time.

Oh my goodness...No, you're not a bad mom. In fact, you sound like a wonderful mother!! Really! Having time to unwind, makes you a better mother. Everyone needs time to release stress and relax. (You will understand that even more, when you're little boy is a toddler :) You have to be good to yourself, to be as good as you can for your child. Taking a little time is so smart, even when it makes us feel guilty. Trust me, all mothers have the guilt. I think it's just part of how we are made :) Try to get past that and enjoy the little bit of time you get. My advice is just to remind yourself, that this time is making you a better and more calm mother!! You're doing great!

OH gosh do not feel guilty!
EVERY Mom... burns-out with their "role" and their kids.
No one, is Super-Mom nor a 24-hour "Mary Poppins."

Give yourself a break, and do what you want.
;)

I have been a Mom for 8 almost 9 years and have two kids.
*I* take a break whenever I can. Sans kids.
I don't feel guilty.
I am a SAHM.

You cannot be a 'good' Mom, unless you are taking care of yourself and your own individual needs and have your own Identity.

Tell your Partner, and plan things for yourself, and he can babysit.
This is NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL.

Don't let a partner make you feel guilty about it either.
A "Man" could not be with their kids, 24/7, without any breaks, either.
We are all human.

all the best,
Susan

As long as you have an ear and/or an eye on him, it's good for children to learn how to play and entertain themselves on their own. You sound like a pretty good mother to me. How's dad doing in the parent department? Does he take care of your son if you need to take walk to go out for a while?

Blessings......

Taking care of yourself is essential to giving your child the best you've got. And a good life includes balance – all things in moderation. If your son isn't crying for you while you're taking some time outside, you're doing fine! Babies often do well with a little alone time, too – it helps them become more flexible.

His needs may change occasionally as he grows into new stages, so be prepared to be flexible, if necessary. Some kids have a hard time with separation anxiety, and that's not their fault. Help him feel secure if that's what he seems to need at some point.

no your not being a bad mom at all, you are STILL THERE you are keeping an ear and eye on him with the video moniter enjoy the peace and talking with your boyfriend

You definitely aren't being a bad mom. If he was screaming and you weren't taking care of him, then I'd suggest you go and tend to him. You do have to work your quiet/alone time off of the baby's needs, but if he's fine, then it's fine. Often I wait until bedtime to get my free time. It's something I desperately need! I love being a SAHM to four kids (almost five), but I have to have ME time in order to rejuvenate and be a better mom.

If you ever reach a point of losing your mind, sitting baby down and going outside to cool off - even if he's screaming - is definitely not mean either! It's better for him that you cool down when you REALLY need it.

Kids need to learn that their parents need time to themselves. No, you are not doing something wrong. If this is not the baby's daddy it's kind of a different story in a way. You dont want b/f to act like a spoiled child and want your attention when you should be giving it to your child.

You have to have time for yourself in order to be a good mother!

The first kid is the hardest and if you plan to have any more, trust me it gets easier. Every little thing you do you feel may be wrong. If he is screaming his head off, and you've tried everything, the best to do is walk out of the room. If you stay, your BP and stress will go up and then you won't get to relax. Us moms have to relax at some point.

So your question are you a bad mom? No!!!! There are several moms out there that shouldn't be moms because what they did to their children. There was a mom a few years ago and microwaved her child to death!!! I mean seriously!!!!

You are not a bad mom. You are just like any other mom out there. Just be sure to check on him periodically.

Congrats on the baby boy (even though he's already 9 months)!!!

Every momma needs a little break, whether your kiddo is 9 months, 3 years old or 19 years old! Don't feel guilty about it.

However, be safe about it. Make sure your baby is in his pack & play, crib, or some other SAFE place when you step out for your break. Don't just leave the baby in the living room or house to roam around alone. You'd be amazed at what they can get into and what what they put into their mouths. Definitely take a break when the baby sleeps!

And of course, this is a no-brainer, but I'll say it anyway, don't run errands or leave the baby in the house alone. This is a common & accepted practice in Europe. Europeans go out when their kids sleep & they do this without thinking twice, but we aren't in Europe! :)

Enjoy motherhood! It's the hardest job you'll ever love!!!

You're not a bad M. for wanting some alone time, but try to schedule the alone time with your boyfriend when the baby is asleep or have someone babysit for you so he is getting some attention. If you are in the same room with him and he is occupied as spending time with his family, then it should be fine if you are not interacting with him per se!

The things we feel guilt over. Of course we need time to ourselves. That doesn't magically disappear just because we become mothers. That need increases because we become mothers. If we don't get time to ourselves and recharge, then how can we be expected to stay sane? A happy mom is a good mom. Don't feel guilt for fulfilling your own needs in order to be a good mom. It's not like you're going out partying and neglecting your child.

Hey Mama... I'm 40, mom of three (ages 18, 3 and 11 months... yes, crazy). As you progress through your mothering journey, there are going to be some things you'll *know* and can stop worrying about. But there will always be something you second guess. I just chalk it up to never having been through *this* stage with *this* kid yet.

Sounds like you're doing a great job. Hang in there.

Hello, You are absolutely normal.
Good luck with your precious son.
K. K.

It's normal and I used to feel it when I was sahm with my youngin. It's not like your going somewhere and leaving him alone. It's fine to go out on the porch with the video monitor. If I were in a house I'd do it and just make sure the back door is locked. With my old apt, we'd sit out on the porch and talk and have the video monitor on (there was no back door which is why I mentioned the difference with if I had a house lol).

I'm 23 too, but have 2 munchkins (3 1/2 boy and 1 1/2 girl) so I really know what you mean!!!! you are not being a bad mother!! actually good job for taking care of yourself and your needs!!! just though I would comment since we are the same age!! Good luck with everything!!