Almost Two!

If he throws a tantrum make sure he's not in harms way and ignore/ walk away from him. If you give him attention during a tantrum he thinks it's a good way to get your attention so therefore they will continue. My son will get a pop on the thigh. Not on the butt because the diaper just absorbs it and he gets no effect. If he eats ok what's wrong with a daily treat? It would be understandable if he refuses to eat or won't eat anything healthy. My son gets a Dum-Dum from his babysitter everyday that's he's good. He knows that when we tell him it's time to go that he can walk over and get his sucker first. It can be a nice reward for him.

If he is almost two, then this should work. Tell him that if he doesn't stop crying he will be in time out. It works for my daughters. Time out can be in a chair in a quiet room or in a corner somewhere, but he can understand this. And don't just say it, do it...for just a min or until he stops crying...my daughter was never in there more than about 30 seconds and she forgot what she was crying about and would stop. Make sure you do it at his eye level and that he is looking at you. After the first time, generally, all you will have to say is do you want time out? and it should put an end to it. At this age, he is more about pleasing then anything else. Also, hide the candy, tell him you don't have anymore. Do not let him know when there is candy in the house and where it is. I either do that, or make my daughters take a nap...depending what time it is. I tell them that kids that are crying and whining are in need of a nap...so they have two options A) stop crying and stay up with me or B) Go to bed ...normally they will stop unless they are really in need of a nap.
Do not let him win...if you let him win now, it will be a lot harder when he is older. If he learns to respect your wishes now, it will be a lot easier. Good Luck!

Also, addiction to candy is a real thing.... My daughter is very addicted. Therefore, I do not keep it in the house at all. If she gets some it is very rare. Also, I started putting lots of fruits in the house she can eat....savannah loves bananas,cinnamon applesauce, Danimals yogurts, apples, and purple grapes...those are her new addiction.....she pretty much eats them whenever she is ready for a snack and she gets soooo excited about it.

On halloween, I let her eat all the candy she wants that night...and that is a bunch...after that night it is gone...she doesn't know where it is, occassionally I might surprise her with a sweet, but only right after dinner if she has eaten all her food....but then again I tell her it is the only one I have.

I totally understand where your coming from. I have 3 (4, 22mo and 6 mo) And I'm starting to realize the same thing does not work for every child. With my 4 and 2 year old we have a bench that is on a wall that has nothing around for them to do. The bench has engraved "Time Out". Usually, and I say usually all I have to say is your about to find yourself on the bench and they'll stop. But now my 22mo is hitting her terrible 2's and doesnt care what I have to say. So, I'm having to rethink my approach with her. What I'm starting to do is still use the bench as often as I need to but I'm taking things away that she loves. Like her teletubbie she loves to sleep with or her sippy cup at nap time away. At the end of the day, I reward her with a treat (usually, sweet tarts or a small dum dum sucker) and I tell her that she was well behaved today and she gets to have a treat. Now, if I have to take something away she doesnt get it back until later in the day if she has done better. I too try to avoid spanking b/c if I'm at that point I'm just really angry and I need to walk away. But try time out in a special place dedicated to that and try rewarding for good behavior and also dont forget to take away something for some time -- it'll seem like forever to them. Hope this helps you!!

Hi! Terrible two's and sugar. No Match...
My concern is waking up from a nap to want the sugar. Could it be that he needs the sugar? Have you had his pediatrician to check his sugar level? I do not want to alarm you but just as a precaution maybe next time you get his check up talk to his doctor about this. I have worked with juvenile diabetes and it probably is nothing but just check it out..
It sounds like mom needs a break. Have you thought about the ymca or other organizations, churches that have a moms day out for a few hours?
Maybe he needs to see how other kids react when they wake up from a nap. They are not given candy and it make break the habbit. Have you tried peanut butter and jelly instead of candy? Tell him the candy angel will not give him anymore candy because she is sad about the way he is behaving to mommy.
Have you cried with him? I wish you the best.
Have a great day!
D.

Hello A.,

Number one he is plenty old enough for spanking just make sure that you are not angry when you do and before and after tell him why he is getting one. I would say not to use your bare hand maybe a small paddle(paint stirrer). Also instead of candy you may want to try fruit snacks you can get them in all different shapes and they come in neat little packs I find them on the cereal aisle at walmart you can get winnie the pooh, cars or hotwheels and many more they taste kind of like gummie bears but not as chewy my kids love them and they seem to be better for them than candy. Also you may want to check into a mothers morning out program in your area he can go a couple of days a week and it will prepare him for preschool and is not expensive it will also give you a break. Most churches have them. Hope this helps

well im not sure how to fix that problem except maybe to try something that is sweet but that isnt candy like maybe fruit cut up to feel like candy or maybe a popsicle or a bottle or a sippy cup right then. but i really wanted to ask you what you do from home because I am looking for something that i can do from home so that i can be here with my son as well. Talk to you soon.

K.

Well, first thing's first, get rid of the candy! He's too young to have any candy at all. You are in charge of what he eats at this point, not him! Make sure you have lots of healthy food around. I really object to using food to get kids to do what you want, it really sends the wrong message.

That said, you have a really tough job as a single parent, but you want to stop this behavior before it gets any worse. You don't want your child to throw tantrums forever! So you have to be firm, be consistent, and be the one in charge. ( I know, and we thought motherhood would be so much fun!) One of the moms suggested time out, and I agree that is probably the way to go. Set aside an area where he will sit if he doesn't behave properly. Warn him first, then if the behavior persists, sit him down. He's almost 2, so for 2 minutes. You will have to keep sitting him down, or hold him there. It's so hard not to yell, but try to stay calm. ( I used to yell at my 5 year old all the time, he frustrated me so much. But I decided to try and calm down, just walk away for a moment, and tell him I'm frustrated. He's so much better behaved when I don't yell!)
When time's up, talk to him about what he did, tell him it's not okay, and make him apologize to you. Then, on to the next thing. You may have to do this a lot the first couple of days, but hang in there. Think of it as life training for your little boy, he needs the skills to control his behavior and know how to respect others. These are life skills we're teaching!

Good luck, and enjoy your son! Love on him lots. Oh, and he wants your praise and approval, so make sure to give it to him every chance you get!

I recommend the book, "How to tell your toddler no", by Dr. Willkoff. He will explain how to do time outs and use the word no the best way. My daughter was throwing tantrums that made the excorcist look tame, and this book knocked them out fast. My friend tried the same techniques on her 18mo and she said life is much better now!

Well, tell him if he doesn't stop screaming he won't get any candy at all, for one thing. When he stops yelling then reward him with a little piece of candy. I would suggest keeping candy out of the house or if it is in the house, which it is in mine then put it in a container and hide it. Use time outs, which won't work at first but if you keep with it, it will work. But he obviously thinks if he throws a tantrum then he gets what he wants so stop. If he's going to throw a tantrum then tell him he doesn't get anything til he stops and put him in another room or a chair in the corner or somewhere til he stops and when he stops reward him for stopping. He'll catch on and then realize he gets more things when he's not yelling. It will be stressful for a couple of days but it will be worth it in the end. You don't want him in school doing this to his teachers. I wouldn't take away trick or treating, go trick or treating put let him have maybe 5 pieces and put the rest up where he can't see it or get to it and every now and then when he's good give him some. All of this has worked with my girls I hope it will work for you.

Do not take him Trick or Treating, that only encourages the candy habit. I have five children and they don't get to go till the age of three and that candy is so limited in this house that come Christmas there is so much left from Halloween it gets thrown away. We have 3 1/2 yr old twins. they get to go this year and they seem to ask for candy alot, more then their two big brothers ever did. Guess they learn from the big boys but I put my foot down and say if you can do (fill in blank) then after you eat lunch or dinner (depending on time of day) you can have this type candy. Tantrum is a tantrum no matter what the reason and you have to work something out with your son but don't accept it. Certainly don't give in consistency is a key word in parenting, it makes your life and your childs a lot easier. Good Luck!