Almost 8 Year Olds Attitude

Updated on September 22, 2009
C.L. asks from Denton, TX
5 answers

i have a daughter that will be 8 in December and she has the worst attitude towards me and my husband. she talks to us crazy and then when we punish her she thinks if she cries she will get out of it. when we ask her to do something she has to throw a fit and screams and yells all the way to her room. i miss being able to have a normal day with her without yelling and her being punished but i don't think she cares and just refuses to listen to us. i know she needs time to be mad or angry but she gets to her room and only gets louder and talks under her breath. what can i possibly do?

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K.K.

answers from Dallas on

Seek Love and Logic. The information is great and gives you specific strategies....makes parenting fun again. Look online for books, DVD's, anything you can think of. They can give you a list of local classes too.

1 mom found this helpful

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

Listen to Kelly! Get the books Love and Logic. Good chance your daughter is already beginning puberty. This book will help you!

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

Hi C.!

I agree that you need Love and Logic! Amy Egan is a great L&L facilitator and one on one coach! She is so awesome!

Also, is this new behavior? Has she always been like this or is this an emerging thing?

Best wishes!
S. M.
The Cerebellum Center
www.cerebellumcenter.com
###-###-####

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

I don't have an 8 year old yet, just a 2.5 year old, but I 2nd the Love and Logic. Some of the things they highlight are giving choices (especially when they DON'T matter to you - makes the kid feel like they're in control of some part of their lives, which is very good for them), letting them make mistakes (that aren't dangerous) and helping them understand why the mistakes happened (understanding consequences), and NOT doing the 3 strikes thing. The example I read was if we're speeding, a cop doesn't give us 3 strikes before a ticket - we get a ticket for doing wrong (if we're LUCKY, we get a warning). The L&L thing is warning/specifiy choice of correct behavior & consequence of disobeying (usually time-out)/then punishment if disobeyment is the choice. The kids learn that their choices have consequences, and they can chose NOT to be punished. It works pretty well for my little guy.

Check the library and half price books, and of course the stuff is on sale at bookstores and thier website.

Good luck!

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A.

answers from Tallahassee on

I have a 7yo boy who thinks he's a teenager: he knows everything, everything's an argument, has to talk back in regard to the simplest request, refuses to listen, etc. This is not all the time thankfully. He's actually a good kid despite how it sounds, lol!

What I've noticed:
1) If I yell, the situation gets worse. Keep your voice and your words calm. Do not get drawn in! Even if you lose it for a minute, get yourself together quickly. You are the adult; she is 7. If you have to, leave the room and collect yourself.
2) Do not allow yourself to get drawn into an argument. I give it 3 back and forths (which is probably way too many), then it's over. No more discussion.
3) After 3 strikes or sometimes less depending on how many times this has gone on, punishment: time out or more effective, lose 20 minutes of video game time. The 20 minutes allows me to give more punishment if needed.
4) Let her scream it out, but don't give it attention. when she's done. Let it go. Don't harp on it. It's over. Move on. Humor usually works with mine. He can't help but smile.
5) Talking under her breath cracks me up! Mine does it too. I simply say, I can hear you! One more outburst and you'll lose more video time (or whatever).
6) Oh yeah, I also start making him say yes maam, no maam -- no long-winded answers. Hates it! But it stops the flow of words for a while. I don't want to make him (or you) think his opinion and feelings aren't important, but if I've heard it once, that's plenty...no harping (on my side or his).
I've found being as calm and unaffected as possible, while still addressing what he's doing, is the best possible way to stop it. Be firm, be calm, don't get drawn in...hard as that may be. And it's weird, we have days with no issues, and days that seem never ending and unendurable. Hopefully it's just yet another phase...until the next one.

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