My son will be 4 in January. I don't know how concerned I should be that he doesn't talk much, mostly he repeats what we say. He speaks clearly when he says words, but there's not a lot of talking in sentences. He will say "preschool yeah" instead of "I had fun at preschool" He has been going to preschool for almost a month and doing ok. I doubt he talks much, and have been meaning to talk to his teacher about this too. When I or anyone asks him a question he doesn't answer. It's as if he is just ignoring the question. At home he cries and screams when something is upsetting him, and can often become upset easily. He doesn't verbalize what's wrong even when I ask him over and over. It's been really frustrating lately because I don't know if there is something more to this. I've heard 3 yr old boy and girls talking in sentences that are newly turned 3, he's almost 4! I know he can hear because he can hear me tiptoe in the hallway during naptime (he poked his out of the covers) Although he is the youngest of my 3 children he seems very baby like to me still because he doesn't talk. He still whines and cries a lot. I am considering having him evaluated through the school district that a friend of mine suggested. My husband thinks he will talk when he's ready and that I am overreacting. I'm wondering if anyone has had a late talker at almost 4 yrs old and if you had the same concerns as I did...and what did you do?
I have not read the other responses but the first thing that came to my mind was "he has older siblings"! Then I saw, yes indeed he does. That said, does he have a chance to talk or is everyone answering and reading his mind so he doesn't need to talk?! Does he talk when he's playing by himself or with others? Does he respond to the TV when watching?
Just my thoughts...
Hi V.,
It is a good idea to have him evaluated, even though there are many children who are late talkers.
You said, V., that your kid cries and screams and whines a lot and one of the things you should start doing, it is just not to act when he does this whining or crying (unless he is sick or harmed of course!) If your little one is trying to say something to you by crying, you may want to encourage him to speak by saying, for instance: "ahhh you want the blue car!" .....or as I do with my youngest.: "Gabriel, talk to me, use your words, what do you like to do, play hide and seek or draw faces", and when he answers, I guide him to speak with complete sentences"
V., to help your kid, besides having evaluated at school or with the pediatrician, it is worth to work with him as frequently as you can by talking a LOT, describe things and make him to repeat the words and sentences. Start with short sentences, describe things on a book, ask him simple questions, etc....It will help also to teach him a word for each feeling he is having. When my little one is crying or whining, I say.:" Gabriel, are you mad?" and he says "yeah", and I say. "tell me so I understand you: " I am mad, mommy", and Gabriel repeat the same. I do the same over and over with different feelings, sadness, anger, happiness, and we draw faces with different feelings and put them in the refrigerator.
I hope this helps you a little bit, but working with your child yourself and your husband, even his siblings, will have a tremendous positive impact, ..you will see. Sometimes, we don't have that time to do these little things, but they help a lot with the children's vocabulary and attitude. The more words they manage the better they can express themselves and the fewer tantrums.
Good luck!!!
Alejandra
I think I hear some real concern behind your words. I truly believe it is time for a screening for your child, & this can be done thru your school district.
& you're right: he should be clearly speaking & sharing his thoughts/emotions thru words put into complete sentences. In my daycare, the kiddies are speaking fully after that 2nd birthday - especially the kids with older siblings! & regardless of their birth order, all of the kids are talking nonstop by 2 1/2....always before age 3!
Please get him checked out, early intervention works!
V., you have a great resource in the local school district so why would you NOT take advantage of it? If it turns out that there is a language development issue then you can get a head start on addressing it and help him to have the rich, full education experience that you want him to have when he starts kindergarten in a few years. If there is no issue, then you can relax and they can also teach you methods to help him develop his language and encourage him to communicate more clearly.
Good luck!!!
R. Ann
my son didn't talk at all until he was three and I was a little concerned but not too much. But then when he got to kindergarten he was diagnosed with autism. I feel really bad because there were a lot of cues I missed and delayed language was one. I am not saying that is what is wrong but I would get him evaluated. I would see a child psychologist first rather than being evaluated by the school because there are so many procedures the school has to follow so they tend to move pretty slow. I had the school evaluate my son but I also had a psychologist too so I could compare the two. They both diagnosed him the same.
I hope this helps. And whatever the case is everything will be okay.
I would contact Parents as Teachers/School disctrict for an evaluation! This boy I watch turns 4 next month and I worked liked crazy for 2yr with him. He has a twin who speaked so fluently and clearly at age 2 and then he jibber jabbered. He also has behavioral/social issues. It took the parents a long time to realized they should get him tested. He is now going to Early Childhood Special Education and is having speech done there. He too repeats what I say...usually just the last word of the sentence. He does not answer questions well either. He will say "yes" most the time regardless if that is what he really means. He has gotten A LOT better since starting the ECSE preschool. He will say more words, but it still are turns to jibberish when he speaks quickly. It all takes time. Parents as Teachers is a great stepping stone, as well as talking to the peditritian. Don't waist time... call today! Best of Luck to you.
You almost perfectly described my daughter. She just turned 5 in July, and started kindergarten last month. We had her evaluated through the school district as well in March, and they determined that she has a language barrier (she doesn't understand words the way she should, thus causing behavioral problems). I took her in twice a week for the rest of the school year to see the language therapist that works in the school, and this year she goes once a week during school hours. I stayed home with her from the time she was born until she was about 3, and we put her into daycare. Up to that point, she would only say a handful of words, no complete sentences. Even now, people who aren't used to her sometimes have difficulty understanding her. I have blamed myself for a long time because I didn't work with her as much as I should have when she was younger. I don't know if that has any impact on how she is now or not, but it has bothered me for quite awhile. She has the communication capabilities of an average 3 year old right now.
The benefit of having him tested now is that they will have plenty of time to work with him before he starts kindergarten. By the time he goes to school, if there isn't a significant improvement with his communication and verbal skills, they will have an individualized learning program specifically for him. It's not special ed classes, but rather a way for his teacher and some other specialists working in the school to work with him to help him get the maximum benefit from his education. They will also be able to give you ideas and suggestions of things you can do with him to help him at home.
I'll admit, my sister went behind my back and called the school about my daughter, which I am still angry over. I did not want to have any part of it, and didn't want the school labelling her before she even started school. But I had to remove myself from the equation and think of what was going to be best for her. She isn't going to have a successful learning experience in school if she can't develop her communication and verbal skills, and I don't know how to work with her on that effectively on my own. Give it a shot, see what they say, and go from there. Good luck!
Hi V.,
Your son sounds a lot like my son. The few things that really concern me about what you described are: repeating what you say, the hard time with transitions, and the ignoring. My son was diagnosed with PDD-NOS which is on the autistic spectrum. He did the repeating, which is technically called echolalia. I often wondered if I'd ever have a conversation with my son. Echolalia is very common in children on the autistic spectrum. My son also had a really difficult time with transitions and would melt down very easily when it was not "on his agenda". I highly recommend you see your regular pediatrician and get a referral for a developmental pediatrician. They do testing which will help you get the services you need. I would not rely on the school system for the testing...the process in the school system is very slow and if your child needs services, you'll get them a lot quicker once you have a diagnosis. Our son gets speech and occupational therapy.
We also sought out biomedical treatments for our child and he is doing extremely well now and is almost 5. We have him on a special diet and he takes many supplements under a doctor's supervision. He now talks in full sentences and can have a conversation, doesn't ignore, his temperament is better, he still has some transition issues but is able to get through it without a major melt down. He's in a regular preschool and thriving.
I hope that you are able to find some answers and get the help you need. The sooner you do this, the better for all of you! Good Luck!
M.
I have 4 boys my youngest who is now 6 1/2 just started Kindergarten this year. He was in an early childhood class for years. I just recently got a diagnosis of Autism spectrum disorder. He was not talking at 2 1/2. He screamed when he wanted something. He screamed a lot! We were able to have the birth to 3 come in and teach him sign language. Really helped with his communication!!!! He communicates better now! He does have meltdowns and we have to figure out what triggers the meltdowns. The school since then evaluated him and said that he is not on the spectrum. Although they want to re-evaluate him again in next spring for autism. We have been going round and round with the school to get my son the education he deserves!!! We have had a very rough year. He is in a normal class room but he leaves the classroom for speech, OT, recourse and we a have a behavioral plan in place. My son also has issues with aggression. We was recently suspended for 1 day from the Kindergarten class.
Where I am going with this is I would start with your pediatrician they should be able to refer you to someone. Some school systems are great with special needs and helping but others are not!!
I would be concerned as well if my children didn't talk by the time they are 4.I have a 6 yr old who was telling full stories long and short sentences when he was 2 he spoke a little more @ 1 than my daughter did she is 21/2 now will be 3 in January she talks non stop she doesn't get the concept of story telling but says what's wrong what she want's likes and dislikes,my 6 month old babbles and is trying so hard to say mama but as always dada comes first so we'll see.Do you or the other siblings speak for your son?This can inhibit his speech development does he know colors,shapes,ABC's,1-10 or more can he speak these to you and you clearly understand him and it's not jibber?I ask this becasue I use to have a Parents As Teachers lady come out and she mentioned that parents will often say their child talks but when they get evaluated it's jiber not able to understand them because it's their own word for something.If you haven't already I would get into contact with them and see if you can begin their services.Does you dr know how concerned you are and what does the dr say about it.To set your mind at eas rather or not therapy is needed evaluation they can give you great teaching tools that you can do at home.And give the preschool a call find out how he's doing and they will also be able to help you with getting him evaluated.Good Luck and let us know how things turn out.By the way they will want to know how many words your son says so start writing them down
you have gotten a lot of great responses, and i probably don't even have to write this, but i gotta add my two cents! i absolutely would have him evaluated...but something i thought of while reading the other responses, i talk to my 3 year old ALL the time and have since he was born..his daddy works a lot of nights and weekends so often we are each others' only company. in the car is one of my favorites. OOOH adan, look, what color is that car? adan there's a police man, do you see him? wow check out that bulldozer! take EVERY opportunity to TALK TALK TALK...i have felt silly at times because i've found myself talking quite normally to my son at walmart or other public places, and this was when he was like a baby baby! i felt kind of self conscious about it sometimes. i'd be at walmart and find myself talking to him, "okay adan we need to get toothpaste, shampoo, and conditioner...help me find them! should we get the red one or the green one?" but i'm a nut lol. for what it's worth though, my son has always been a great talker. i think sometimes, when i am out in public, parents seem to kind of forget their kids are there, especially when we get busy. it's always nice to include them in what's going on, and encourage discussion. just what we do. good luck, and i am sure he'l speak up when he's ready!
You need to contact Parents as Teachers- they're great, they are paid by grants. They don't cost you anything and they come to you... they will test your child, see where they're at developmentally, and help you from there. They help with speech treatments, all kinds of stuff!!! I had Ms Julie- for my 2 boys, and they both loved her, and it was always exciting when she came- because she got down on their level and played games, ie did tests, and they just loved her!! I did too- wish they had them for big boys... because Ms Julie was a keeper!!!
Lots of good advice! Add me to those who say get him evaluated by the district. Your tax dollars are paying for these services, so take advantage of them! If anything, it will give you peace of mind.
Good luck!!
Some kids so wait to really start talking. If he's the youngest, maybe he can get everyone to do his talking for him! Or maybe he's just one of those "quiet" types. Nevertheless, it could be wise to get him evaluated by a GOOD practitioner who isn't ready to label him too quickly. There could be something else going on. I hope everything turns out well.
I pretty much want to ditto everyone elses response. Get him evaluated thru the school district. If he has a problem they can start working with him now to get him caught up before real school starts. Also talk to his current teacher about making him use his words. And be consistant at home. If he whines because he wants a drink, make him say "Drink please". Only you can be your childs advocate.
I would also get his hearing tested, but be sure to do it at a audiologist. I have a friend whose three year old was not speaking much, just a few words, and speaking those few words clearly. They had her hearing tested at the pediatrician's office and she passed, several times. They started her in intense speech therapy classes, but it wasn't working that well. They finally had her hearing tested by a specialist. She was severely deaf in one ear and profoundly deaf in the other. She was reading lips to get by, and could hear some words. I know you said you think he can hear because you tiptoed past his room during nap and he poked his head out of the covers. Some hearing impaired kids can feel the slightest vibrations. Does he answer questions when he is looking at you? He may be reading lips. Or does he answer you when you speak in a lower voice? Sometimes kids can't hear certain registers, like a higher tone, so sometimes they hear lower tones better. Does he scream a lot or whine in frustration? I know two hearing impaired kids that scream very loudly and whine. Just a thought. I would definitely make hearing a part of the evaluation. My friend's little girl is speaking in sentences now with her new hearing aids.
Good Morning V., One of our gr son's still doesn't speak as clearly as we would like, but his teacher has no problem with him, he is in Kindergarten this year. He is 5 and is the baby of 3. He whines, cries, tattles constantly at home. At school he is well behaved. When he is with us I usually have to have him repeat what he is saying 2-3 times before I get it. Or have him show me.
Some kid-o just seem to get more attention this way, everyone is asking what they want or said. Try the PAT Parents As Teachers, program and have him evaluated.
God Bless
K. Nana of 5
