Help, in the last couple of weeks my son who will be in January has gotten a really bad additude. I try to explain that he his not making good choices. But it soon leads to spankings. I swear it is almost like the terrible twos all over again, could that be. The only major changes is that I have stared college full time, but they only go to an at home babysitters for about 10 hours a week. Any suggstions...THANKS
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It is not unusual for 4 year olds, or any age, to push bondaries, especially with the recent changes in your schedule. My suggestion is be consistent. If something is wrong one time, then it is wrong everytime, and worth correcting immediately. The type of correction depends on what corrects the heart attitude. Also, as hard as it can sometimes be, work really hard to not wait till you are frustrated to discipline. You may not do that, but I know that it is tiring to stop what you are doing every time to discipline for a bad attifude. I have 5 children ages 9 to 2, and have found that life is much better for all when immediate and consistant consequenses, without anger, are felt. This will not fix the problem over night, and children will always try to push the boundaries, but it is effective. Another suggestion is Ted Tripp's book "Sheparding a Child's Heart"
Hang in there. Your child will love you.
Blessings,
H.
Read "Love and Logic." It is what ever partent should be required to read before your child turns 2.
Is he is preschool? He probably needs the actual school interaction, rules, etc to get ready for kindergarten. I know some people will say that a babysitter is enough, but it's not the same thing.
You also might try taking away priveledges (tv, etc) or toys when he misbehaves instead of spanking. Active kids really need a time out to think about it and spanking is only going to lead to him hitting his brother.
I have experinced this all ready and i know what you are going through. Sometimes spanking is the answer but I take my childrens privilleges away. When my daughter was 4 I took her away from watching tv,playing with favorite toys, and had to go study. IT didn't matter what she study but thats what she had to do. Now she tests my buttons so you have to be strong and teach your child your boss and its not okay to act or treat you like that. So we had talks and when she was really good we had mommy time doing whatever she wanted. Most of the time she loved to watch a movie together or read books.Now as for my son who is 4 and tries the same thing he gets his privilleges taken away. Like play games playstaion is his favorite. As for discipline I sit them on their beds and explain why they are there and then let them off when I said or I felt they understood what they are doing.some times they would talk back and all I would do is put them in a place where they couldn't see anyone or play with anything. If that didn't help it was bed early. Hope this things will help you.I don't always believe in spanking but sometimes you have to because when you do they will know that you are in control and they are not.
K.,
Been there as we all have. I call them Frantic 4's. Then comes the Fabulous 5's. Just stand your ground and make sure he knows you are in charge. It wont last long. Just remember it only gets worse when they hit teenage years. lol then you start pulling out your hair. this is the year when DRAMA hits all kids, and they make a HUGE deal out of nothing just to get your attention. Stay firm. If its not to late when you get home from school and he is awake maybe he can be your little helper. Ask about his day and what he did and learned. Then when you need to do homework tell him its time to do some homework and ask if he wants to do some with you. Get him involved with it. Get a writting tablet or some paper and have him write a story with pictures. Hope this helps. You'll be fine and it will come to an end soon
Are there other children his age at the babysitter or does he have any new friends? Maybe he's learning this from other children. Or maybe he is just really sensitive to change.
If you have just started school, he may be missing some one on one time, as I am sure you have homework too. Try and read or just do some activity with him, if only 10 or 15 min. and he will get positive attention from you. Tell him when he is talking nice you will listen, but when he is acting out your are not going to listen, and then ignore him or remind him that if he wants something from you, how is he supposed to talk?? Sit him on a chair and have him think about it could be a way to re-enforce when he isn't behaving also. When he can tell you how he is supposed to act he can get up.(Limits of course he can't sit there all day, Ha) This one depends on the child as to whether it works or not. Some it works , others not.
Sounds like to me he is testing boundaries. Just keep firm and follow through with the discipline. I know it feels that you are always disciplining him. I also tried to spend more one on one time with my kids when they were going through times like your son is going through. I know it can be very frustrating. I wonder if he is seeing some of this type of behavior at the babysitter's house.
Good luck!
C.
my sister in California has a VERY rambunctious 5 yr old son who has always been a test to her wits. after 3 years of trying "counting to 3", spankings, time outs, taking away toys & everything and "lectures" she decided to use a very traditional form of punishment. because of his extremely disrespectful attitude, eye rolling and sassy back talk, she , with the help of "daddy", washed potty mouth out with soap while explaing how she does the same thing with anything else in the house that is dirty. she then proceeded to warn her husband against "coddling" him afterwards so as not to negate what they just did. and you know what? it worked like a charm. not only did he immediately respond with a very healthy and pleasant attitude, he even hugged his mommy as they laughed and played later that afternoon. she even takes a bar of soap and a toothbrush with her when she has him with her on errands and such. i have personally implemented this very old fashioned form of discipline in the past on my daughter when she was 3 and you know what? there is alot to be learned from the older generations...i know there are those who will consider this response barbaric, but not taking charge and allowing your child to grow into an insecure and snotty adult is worse.
L. B
