My mama is such a babe! Her 59th birthday is coming up and I am thinking a lot about my history, her history, her mom's history and so on and so forth.
My mom became a mother when she had my sister at 27. Growing up I got to go to bed with tales of her adventures and travels as a young women/single mother. Tales of desert islands and hurricanes, "The Bush" and Indonesia, and of Australian artist communities, of the indigenous communities of Australia, of spirituality, of my sister and her in N. Africa - of adventure and lessons. It was cool (a word that she reminds me HER generation discovered ;-).
After my folks divorced, she went back to school. She started her career at 51/52 years of age. She is now a psyschotherapist, and (from what I hear) is really good at it. One of her focuses is supporting women in aging. She tells me how women's aging process isn't given enough value in our culture. She says as we age, we are often disregarded/disrespected by our societal value on youth *only*. She reminds me that it's never "too late" to try to climb towards my dreams.
So just for fun, I want to hear about your experience:
What is your *favorite* part of aging? The most surprising? What are the greatest adventures? I want to hear about what you feel is most valuable part of your aging process and what you are excited about for your future...
My favorite part of aging is no longer being disrespected or disregarded because of youth. I feel like my opinion is more readily listened to because I am older now.
I think my favorite part about aging is gaining confidence. Having life experiences makes you a stronger person. And I have found that since giving birth at 39, I am WAY more forgiving of my body and in AWE at just what it CAN do!
At 47, I feel very comfortable in my own skin, have a more global perspective of the world and issues in general, have the resources to facilitate change for the good around me, and have had a full life of experiences as a single woman before marrying and having a child. I have no regrets that I have "missed" anything.
I do feel as if I have it all. I look forward to my son's high school and college graduations, grand babies someday (God willing!), and a long happy retirement with the man of my dreams!
er, ughh... gee.... I don't know!
Probably more life experience and wisdom and things in my future that are more tangible.
I LOVE this quote by a respected woman in my church:
"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."
~Marjorie Pay Hinckley, who was 92, and full of vibrance when she died
My favorite part about being my age (44) is not giving a rat's a** about what people think about me. I can't believe how much of my "youth" I wasted worrying about other people's opinions!
Your mom sounds like an amazing woman!
It's nice to be a grown up.
But since your MOM is the same age as my GUY (sigh), I'm reminded that few things are about the calender, but ALL things are about the outlook.
And I think to myself daily, youth is wasted on the young, money is wasted on the rich, time is wasted on the idle, and speed is wasted on the average Caddy owner!
:)
I had my children late, so I am still looking forward to what I think is going to be my favorite and that is to be a grandma. But I hope my sons don't have kids for a while.
I like not having to worry about makeup and such. And, I am very thankful I am still able to do all the things I love like water skiing. My mom acted elderly when she was ten years younger than I am now (56.)
The most surprising is that I have had so many health issues: stroke, open heart surgery, and lung cancer. Thank the Lord, I really try to take care of myself or I would already be in a nursing home or dead!
For me it is hard accepting that my parents were right.
My favorite part about aging is realizing, understanding and accepting what is really important in life.
My greatest adventure is having children! I know, it sounds boring, but it's true!! I learn from this adventure every day. I get to re-visit all my favorite childhood books, I get to build forts again, I get to sleep in tents in the yard, I get to stop and look at butterflies and hold hands, I get to see the world through my kids' sweet perspective! For me, I could not ask for a greater adventure b/c now I am old enough to appreciate it and share it with those I love the most!
*I'm 37
I'd like to stay the age where I am LOL! I can handle getting older just dont' want to see the saggy skin and wrinkles. So far none. :) It is what is it is and I am happy not to be in my 20's anymore. If time had to stop 30-35 is just fine..However, l like that fact that I am settled have children and great life experience so far to help me navigate my future.
I can't wait to hear from some 20 something about the wisdom of age. :p
Seriously though it is easier to go with the negative, my knees aren't ageing well. :( Other than that things become easier. You know what doesn't work and with a little common sense you don't do it again.
I don't know what in my life would be considered a great adventure. That is the thing, what you have done is life. As it is seen by others is the great adventure. Rather than ramble about everything I have done I will leave it at, I have lived.
I remember being in my mid-20s and thinking hark! Still young enough for the teens in youth group to listen to, but old enough for the parents to hear me out a little better.
When I was 18-23, I knew it'd be "tragic" to turn 30. In fact, 30 was when I first felt comfortable in my skin. That's when I knew I really didn't have to (a) worry about what people thought of me (as a teen, I didn't *think* I cared, but I did...in that I rebelled *on purpose* to what I thought they expected....it was still caring though)....(b) I felt real love and not just head over heels unrequited crushing where I'd live my life in a sad shadow (learned with a former fiance that there is a fine line between "deep genius" and "self absorbed prat"....(c) I started really walking in a real sense of who I am as a person, reevaluating my priorities, desires, and goals, and walking in them with some support. I have seen pictures of myself and thought "Wow, I was way cuter than I gave myself credit for!" I would go skinny dipping, but for some reason wouldn't want to wear a swim suit in front of my friends. Shy about my body (although nudity? I dunno....I guess I figured once you're at a certain point the guys just weren't judging at all, lol). When I was 18 yrs old, 108 lbs, an athlete, I would wear at least a shirt over my swimsuit, if not nude. Now that I'm twice that age and can't even imagine myself at 108 lbs, I am very happy running around on the beach with my family, chasing birds, inspecting shells, digging castles, etc. That's very strange to me, but true.
I'll be turning 36 in 2 months time. I am well aware that I can experience all kinds of pain, disappointment, anger, fear, etc....but that I can go on. I have an understanding that I am a strong woman, and although I had some level of youthful adventure and faith in myself as a 19-23 year old, I have more confidence in my daily life where I know that things will turn out ok. I can experience terrible things, and continue on. There's something special about that feeling that I'm still trying to understand before I can put it into words. I am not scared of being around people, or of being alone. I have a little more patience and am less prone to give up in frustration. I know that some level of support is needed (including this site for an understanding ear to a fairly anonymous question or gripe), but that I don't need to have everyone on my side before I venture out to the next goal or idea. I have the confidence now to go back to school and start writing that book. I'm coming back to old passions I put away dismissing as either childish or too hard. I'm not scared of my own thoughts anymore. I think aging so far has been intriguing. I watched Calendar Girls yesterday and saw those ladies in an interesting light.....not just the basic "take off your clothes for a charity calendar" but more their own sense of empowerment and just continuing to evolve and still having adventures, no matter the age. I'm very interested to see what happens in the coming years. I'm surprised by how much I was "scared" of in my youth, especially considering everyone, including myself, has and/or would have described me as "fearless". I might gain a little weight in the hips or gain a few lines on my face, but I feel like I'm shedding more dead weight (anger, resentment, fear, etc) as I move on. I don't know if that's the result of a spiritual journey or just growing up.
Perspective. Perspective changes. Surprisingly so.
I am 42, married for 20 years and my only child turns 17 tomorrow =).
Favorite part? That I am OK with my "give a d*mn" being a bit busted...and don't really care if others are OK with that...LOL. Its a kind of acceptance of myself. That I can come first too.
Most surprising? That I am as strong, and as fragile as I am, all at the same time. And after realizing this, I am mostly OK with that too. Another kind of acceptance. This really came about in the last few years. My parents both died by the time I was 38 and I was extremely close to my Mom, so I struggle daily. But I am OK with the struggle. I am strong and fragile, sometimes in the same breath, and I survive and overcome it and I am better for it.
I look forward to the future and what it might bring...altho it scares the crud out of me at the same time! LOL
I agree whole heartedly with Denise. The best part about aging has been cutting myself some slack and gaining a more realistic and more favorable body image. I'm proud of what I can accomplish with this body and this mind!
The most suprising thing to me has been the course texture of my gray hairs. I always knew I would go gray. I just didn't know my soft, shiny blond hair would turn to wayward wires on my head.
Most valuable thing...Integrity.
Making sure I do my little bit of good. And try and live the most honest life possible.
My favorite part of this journey is now understanding I am not in control of the big picture. And I have to try and make the best of the smaller picture's.
I hope to think my greatest adventures are still to come...and the ones I am living in today...wowie wow I can say god thinks an awful lot of what I can take:) but it is all learning tools for things to come.
I hope at 84 I can still be happy...healthy and helping others.
Im such a rookie in life. Im just now out of my 20s, but the last 10 years were spent raising kids and developing a marriage. Im now working on my 3rd baby at the age of 30 and i have to say, that i feel as if my 30s are going to be very awesome.
From what ive heard that is the common thing, to be finally comfy in your 30s.
But so far ive learned that nobody really knows anything,mindsets change too often to stick to one idea.
I am soon to become a senior citizen....wow didn't think I would be this old ever. And thought I would have it together by now. Ha. Some of the small stuff...
I can live with the grey hair and not feel panicy about it.
I think that it was how much more powerful in mind and body I became in my forties and fifties. That was a surprise. But now in my sixties, I do forget some things...oh well that is okay too.
But the biggest stuff is....
How connected I felt after I gave birth to my first born son (with out meds) to my Grandmother. She told me about giving birth to her son (at home in Germany). I then felt the thin steel spider web of time connecting be to all my mothers, run through me. I was not just one woman standing alone in time, but apart of all women, standing, holding hands, waiting to join hands with the next woman in my line.
I did have a daughter, and named her after my Grandmother, my Great-grandmother, and my husband's mother and Grandmother. A woman standing in line.... She is as strong and beautiful as they are...were..
I agree with Brigette. I like not caring so much what others think of me. I wish I could get back those hours days and minutes I spent worrying about what people thought of me. I'd certainly be much happier and much younger!
Finally learning that things don't have to be...exact. Kids can get off schedule to bake cookies, they can take a bath in the morning instead of the nighttime before bed. They don't have to conform to any set thing if we have something different to do. Having the maturity to see the bigger picture that so many young parents don't take time to think about.
What memories will your children have of you when they are older? Will it be of a controlling parent who demands that homework is done by 4 and that snacks are over by 3:30 or lost? or will they remember the fun they had playing in the water in the back yard in the dark? Or any other fun family times.
