S.N.
My daughter is 16 now. When she was about 12 or 13, she stole money from her stepdad and mom (I am the stepmom -- my husband raised her from infancy). She then came home and stole $100 from my purse. She totaled about $300 in stolen cash at this point. She spent it all at the mall (we lived within walking distance of one at the time). The only way I'd found out (other than having missed the $100 from my purse) was by all the new stuff she suddenly had. I went into her room and found the shopping bags and receipts, and then I made her return to the mall with me and return everything. I also made her tell each clerk why the items were being returned. Since she had spent half the money by giving it to a friend of hers, I called her friend's mother and let her know what had happened. While I did not require her friend to return anything (it wasn't her fault after all - my daughter had lied to her friend, saying it was birthday money), I did make my daughter apologize to her and then do extra chores to pay me back. In short -- I think the embarassment went a long way. She has never stolen anything since.