After Losing Pregnancies... What Number Do You Tell People?

Congrats! I've had 4 miscarriages and two babies. I would just say this is my third child and leave out the number of pregnancies.

This is totally up to you! Elizabeth was my 7th pregnancy. She is my only child. Depending upon who I'm talking to, I share or I don't.

Say #3, the other two are very personal. If you say #5 you will just end up answering a lot of unwelcome questions.

I would tell medical professionals who ask what number pregnancy..."5." I would tell others only that you are pregnant "again." There is no need to make people feel awkward, including yourself. This should be a time of joy and celebration. And you should be focusing on this HEA:LTHY pregnancy with positive thoughts and not constantly being drawn back at this time to days of sadness. So... congratulations. I have 3 myself and find it to be a fulfulling number of kiddos.

I think you tell people whatever you feel comfortable to say in the situation. I had a baby who died moments before birth and then an ectopic pregnancy. I had 2 children at the time. When I was pregnant with my last baby - sometimes I would say this is my 5th pregnancy. When I talked about giving birth - I would say this is my 4th time to do this or I have given birth 3 times before. He is my 3rd living child. I know as a mom you don't want to deny your babies who died but sometimes we don't want to answer the questions.

You're pregnant. That's all anybody needs to know when you tell them.
You obviously have two other healthy children, I see no need to do any counting for anyone. People don't need to know how many times you've been pregnant. That's just my opinion.

I had a miscarriage late in a pregnancy. Thankfully, my daughter was too young to remember and it was a very long time before my son. I never speak of it. There are people who know, but when I was pregnant with my second baby, I didn't say, "This is my third pregnancy".
Third pregnancy but only one kid so far? Who wants to explain all that? I didn't feel it was necessary.
Don't get me wrong. I heard the term fetal demise the day before my birthday. It's not like I have forgotten. I just never felt the need to explain it to anybody, especially if they didn't go through it with me at the time.
You don't have to explain every single thing.

I hope things work out well for you. I really do.

i can't imagine strangers coming up to you and asking "what pregnancy is this?" you might get, "is this your first?" and you can just say like someone said, "this will be baby #3!" people who know you will know how many kids you have and probably won't ask, right? there's absolutely no obligation on you to tell anyone your life story. these won't be close personal friends asking these things. you're in a very emotional place right now, keep that in mind. don't create things to stress about. no one is going to question or judge you for saying it's #3. even those who knew about one of your miscarriages. you call the shots on this one.

You do not need to reveal a number or go through the pain of explaining everything. Tell people you are expecting # 3 or just tell them you are pregnant. People have no business in your personal affairs if you haven't already informed them. I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy. I didn't talk about it for almost 2 years. I then became more comfortable talking about it and working through the grief. When I became pregnant with my daughter, I didn't tell anyone she was my second pregnancy and those who knew were VERY supportive through those nine months while I awaited her arrival. It's my business and it's a need to know basis.

I think it's all about phrasing. I simply never put a number on it--"we're expecting another child in April," no need to explain how many pregnancies vs. live births. "DD is getting a little sister," "we're thrilled to have another addition to our family"--there are plenty of ways to say it without citing numbers. If more detail seems appropriate, I'll sometimes say something like, "we were hoping for children closer together but God had other plans," or "I had some trouble carrying a pregnancy to term, which made R (youngest DD) that much more of a blessing." Obviously, the big exception to this is medical professionals, who should know the full details to give you proper care. Congratulations!

Your third child. No need to tell anyone who already knows, since they know. As for anyone else, it is none of their business.

I think you should tell people this baby is number 3 - otherwise, you're opening the door for personal questions about an uncomfortable subject.

It's no one's business, and I promise you the ones asking are just being curious how many you already have at home. If they ask, you can simply reply with, "We have two children at home" and smile.

For me this is a tough one but but once I new (or at least had a good feeling) that the pregnancy would be going to the end I would start telling friends and family what "#" as you say that would be my next child they would see. So my answer would be #3. An Congrats on all of your pregnancies. But most are interested in your children born as the other information can lead to awkward situations.

When you are ready to tell them, or when your baby bump becomes too obvious to avoid it, just say that you are pregnant. You don't have to mention a number at all! If you do mention a number, I would say #3. If someone asks, I would say that this will be my 3rd child, or that baby will have an older brother and sister, or 2 sisters, or 2 brothers (whatever). Good luck!

Having a miscarriage is you and your husbands business know one else, to me it would be hard to explain my miscarriages, i would say pregnant with my third you dont want to go threw threw the heartache of explaining your lose A. from redding CONGRATES

I would say my third child. If you say 5th pregnancy then there are more questions to come.
Scenerio
Oh you already have 4 kids. No, I miscarried two.
Oh and is this pregnancy ok. Yes.... some emotions.... what to say....
Make it easy. My third child. I'm so happy.
If I may, Don't say anything to anyone even if you are showing. If someone asks, " are you pregnant?" Smile and say yes. Leave it at that. If any other questions come along, respectfully say you don't want to talk about it.
By the way, Congratulations! You'll be in our prayers.

We have 3 children (and have had 4 miscarriages.) I say 3....... The only time I bring up my miscarriages is when someone else is struggling with one OR if the subject comes up. I don't bring it up.

dont be confused, thats my job, ok, now wipe off the screen. all you have to say is this is my fifth pregnancy, i have two healthy children, and let them do the math themselves, pregnancy is invasive enough without inviting some stranger into your personal struggles with it.
K. h.

Tell them number 3. It is no one's business how many kids you did not have versus how many kids you do have. The only ones who need to know otherwise are the doctors.

Congrats on the new one!

I have been pregnant 5 times with 6 children. I had a stillborn son, 2 late miscarriages, 1 early miscarriage of a twin, the other twin daughter lived 17 days, and one surviving daughter, who was 5 months early and has developmental delays.

I know how you feel, because when people ask me how many kids we have, I feel like I am 'forgetting' or dismissing my other children's memory if I just answer "One."

So I say "Well, I have had 6 children, but only one is still with us." It gets hard with comments either way, but it narrows the chance that someone will say something really upsetting. And it educates a few people to be more cautious when making comments to anyone with or expecting children. There are more like me out there, I'm sure, who aren't as tough as I am. So, that is what I tell people.

You tell people that baby #3 is on the way. No one needs to know about the others (and, if they do know, they've already shown their love and support), and it will only remind you of the loss. My situation is different, but I had twins the first time and I'm pregnant with #3. I don't tell people this is my second pregnancy. I simply say baby #3 is coming. Congrats!

You are expecting a 3rd child. You are experiencing your 5th pregnancy. I think that most people are asking about the baby, not the pregnancy, so I would say 3. It doesn't mean that the other two aren't special to you, I just think that, for the purposes of small talk, people are focused on the number of living siblings. Of course, if someone asks you specifically about the pregnancy, and you are comfortable talking about the miscarriages, you could tell them that it is your 5th.

Good luck.

You say # 3. I lost my 2nd child and it was awful to say the least. I struggled with this too- but do you really want to be rehashing your memories every time someone asks and you say this is my fifth pregnancy but this is my 3rd baby that survived etc. I wouldn't tell anyone 5 except for when they ask you at the hospital or doctor for your health history. Congrats on this new little one coming----

M

I think it's no one's business how many times you've been pregnant. I'd say I'm expecting my 3rd. And if asked how many pregnancies this makes, even flat out say 3rd pregnancy too. Being exactly, accurately honest in this case is not the way to go, IMHO.

Congratulations and best wishes for a healthy full-term baby!

I would say something along the lines of "we're expecting our third child...". Those who are closest to you know that this is your 5th preganancy. Those who are not as close will be uncomfortable with the mention of lost pregnancies and may not know what to say in response.

Congratulations and I pray you have a normal, happy, healthy pregnancy!

I lost 3 before my child was born so I can relate to what you are going through.

You could say "I've had 5 pregnancies and this will be our 3rd baby" or simply, keep all info to yourself. Don't feel the need to explain your situation--you totally don't have to do that!

If someone asks you how many kids you have you can just say "I have a boy and a girl, and this O.'s a surprise" OR I have heard some people say "Two and I have two angel babies."

If I was in your situation, I would just say "we're expecting #3 in July..." or something like that.

Best of luck to you sweetie--don't make more of it than it is.