Afraid to Do a BM

Bribery. She's nine, so it will still work. Keep a small little chart for her--every day she goes she puts a star on. After a number of stars (5? 7?) she gets a treat.
For this first one, though, I'd give her a treat just for one time. She needs to have some external motivation to get going.

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Have you told her that you are worried about her having a BM in her pants at school, and that if she doesn't allow herself to go at home in the toilet that she may not be able to control it at a very embarrassing time?

A glycerin suppository should help get things moving. You can buy them at the drugstore. They are not harmful and should help break up any blockage that has probably formed if she has not gone for 5 days. I had to use it after my recent c section ( and a follow up surgery bc of complications). They worked within 24 hours and the nurses told me they used small chips on newborns that don't go. At this point it probably will be painful for her to go. This should help soften things up from the other end. It is kind if gross and she may not want you going there, but I swear it is not painful or will not cause her much discomfort to put it in (or on the way out). Good luck!

I would take her to Dr. she could have already done damage to her system. My five yr old went to a pediatric GI specialist for a similar problem

Try adding prune juice with the fiber regimen. I mixed it with cranberry juice and did not tell my son what it was until after he decided he liked it.
Now he asks for it :-) It took several days, but when he did finally go he said it did not hurt. I have no idea why because I was expecting the same painful outcome that the other moms shared. Also go to the health food store and ask for a laxative tea for kids. This will definitely soften the stool so only give it to her in small doses in the evening so she won't have an accident at school. So far we have not had a repeat and he is pretty regular. I also make sure he eats a more balance diet now because I'm sure that was the problem in our case. Good luck!

Our daughter did the same thing and we put her on Miralax for three months since she had held so long that way we knew she would go eventually on her own. We got her to go by telling her it might hurt a little but after you push the first one out it won't hurt anymore. We told her she could have 1 cookie if she went. She had held it in so long she went alot of poop for a long time. My husband couldn't believe that a child could poop that much. She was so backed up she couldn't eat until she started going. She did have blood when she went and cried and we cried with her but after a week she felt much better. She had accidents only at home and not at school so we lessened the (Miralax) slowly until we had her weaned off and haven't had a problem since.

Poor little sweetie...I understand, I was the same way and I must tell it was because my parents always made a huge deal about "potty time" and I had anxiety every time I had to poop (but for me, it was not so much in my home, rather in other people's homes or in public places, school included). Handling bodily functions is such a delicate phase of a child's life and it's not less difficult for us parents...I know it's been difficult for me with my son. So don't beat yourself up, the previous poster gave you GREAT advice and resources, the doctor is makig sure her poop is soft, so you "just" need to find a way to teach her to "let herself go", to relax her body and mind, and take the pressure off of poop time. Good luck!!

Our daughter has gone through his herself and yes holding it in that long you will see small "accidents" in her pants start to happen. Mine too had a bad experience and then held it in and refused to go for days and days on end. She would hold it so long that the build up would be so bad that she could barely urinate as so much was in her stomach it was pushing into the area that urine flows through making it impossible to pee (she went almost 24 hours without urinating :( . Our doctor recommended the stool softner (miralax) but also because of the buildup told us that we needed to give her Phillips milk of magnesia to basically force the issue - your daughter will not be able to hold it in after taking this. The biggest problem now is, is that because she has held it for so long it is going to hurt which can start the cycle all over again and as our doctor warned us once kids get used to holding it you will find them doing it subconciously even without meaning too because they have become accustomed to doing so.
Once we gave our daughter the Phillips (do it on a day with no school) she went numerous times and was basically very upset but the harm she was doing to her body while holding it in was worse for her than the trauma of making her go. We continued giving her mirilax for months to try and keep her stools soft so as not to get in a repetative cycle but as a warning it could happen again. Also because of holding it so long there might be blood, don't be freaked out (I certainly was), from hear slightly tearing from going so much. I hope this helps and doesn't scare you - our ped. said that this is VERY common in children. Good luck!!!

My son had a similar problem. The doctor told me that he probably had a difficult BM and then refused to go after that because of the pain. We tried upping his veggie intake and fiber. To no avail. He is a picky eater and we would force him to eat these things. We have tired stool softeners and childrens enemas. I was worried that he would become dependent upon these things. The doctor put him on Miralax (before you could buy it in the stores, I had to get it from the pharmacy). I told him that I did not want my son to become dependent on it. The doctor advised me that Miralax is non habit forming. Needless to say this is a mental thing for the kids. We dealt with it for several years. He is now 13 and and has no issues with it. It is a long and frustrating journey but there is an end. Hang in there.