I'm in a state of confusion and need some advise Moms. My son (who has just turned 4) we have recently been advised by the school appears to be having difficulties. They called in Prjoect Challenge who observed him for a morning and I have to say I was shocked at the report. We have always known he was a busy boy, short attention span and very touchy/feely but we never realized just how bad it was and to the extent it was effecting his school day.
His current school closes at the end of May and we had chosen First Lutheran School (Nursery Rd, Clearwater) to start in June. However Project Challenge recommend a Therputic In Home Daycare. We are told these places are hard to come by and they had one opening, we visited the lady and she does come across as very able. However these are my concerns. There are just five boys (including my son) they are all between 3-5 years of age. However these children appear to have been rejected from many schools, have aggressive issues and clearly need a great deal of help. It is clearly a daycare (not a school) with these five boys spending the whole day in a converted garage.
My son has gone to a proper school since he was 2 years old, he is used to a classroom setting and been around children who don't face so many challenges. Even though he clearly does have some issues himself, I'm not sure they are severe enough to warrant this kind of transtion. In some ways I feel we are going backwards and not forwards. Then again to date he has gone to Montessori schools where his wandering around doesn't effect the rest of the class to a great extent. However his new school would be a more traditional setting and I know this could be difficult for him.
Our plan is to work with an Occupational Therpaist and do all we can to help him but I feel we are been forced in to this In-Home Daycare that we are not comfortable with and I'm not sure is the right thing for him. Likewise I don't want to start him at school only to see him struggle.
Problem is all this has come out of the blue in the past few days and we have to make a quick decision if do want to take the In-Home Daycare place.
Any advise would be much appreciated. Thank you.
I would trust you instinct. Sign him up for VPK, although I don't know where this leaves you for childcare while you are at work. And have him assessed for any necessary services. You are doing ot, great! And have a full eval perhaps with preKAT so any othe delays can be adressed.
If I were you I think I'd get some other opinions. He still has some time before "regular" school starts for him. Jumping into something this fast, would make me nervous too. Has he actually been "diagnosed" for autism, or anything? Jamerson in S. St Pete has an autistic program, and pre school within it. If he does have some form of autism, maybe it is mild enough that he won't have a problem with "regular" school, and he might not really need this special program they are suggesting. I've seen many kids that don't quite fit in as "regular" kids but do just fine in a regular class. Sometimes it just depends on the teacher. Just be open to whatever it is he may have... Because I've also seen parents who don't want to believe there is anything wrong,or they don't see it's as bad as it is because they are too close to the situation. And who wants to believe there is anything "wrong" with thier child anyway?? They end up going to school after school and the kid just can't take mainstream school no matter which one they go to. I think that hurts the kid in the long run. It takes a toll on the parent too. You sound pretty set on that Lutheran school, so you may just want to take a little time and make sure that is the right fit for him- not just for you.
I'm sure you'll get some better reponses from parents who know way more about this than me, so best wishes. I hope it works out. Anything that seems too rushed leaves me questioning why? Take your time.
I would find a school that you feel good about and is similar to what your son is used to. Don't let yourself be forced into something you don't feel right about. Putting your son in with four aggressive children could make it much worse.
I worked in Special Ed as a teacher & Behavior Specialist for 12 years & a few things about your post either don't make sense or concern me... possibly because you didn't mention what "they" thought was wrong with your child. Does he have ADHD or is he on the Autism Spectrum, or??
The sentence, "Problem is all this has come out of the blue in the past few days and we have to make a quick decision if do want to take the In-Home Daycare place" makes me think either you are only comfortable sharing part of the story-or?? because there are major pieces missing... Schools generally do not want to pay for evals, so there must have been "something" to initiate the testing.
I agree that some children learn negative behaviors in a setting with other disabled children, however, I also believe some children make huge strides in a very structured setting. A 4 year old is not supposed to be able to make important life decisions & needs structure.
I have worked with parents that don't want their children in appropriate setting (or medicated) when it was in the best interest of the child AND I have also seen a teacher zero in on one child & make life harder than it has to be... so if this is truly a one time thing (that you don't see at home, with friends, at church, in the park, on playdates, etc)- then go w/ you gut.
If you really mean that this came out of the blue, then try the school you wanted, just have a back-up in case he is thrown out. Also, make sure they are offfering you whatever services he needs/deserves (PT/OT/Speech/counseling).
J., i see/ understand your delema. my son has some issues as well. does this "daycare" have a teacher that would be teaching him at the level he is at/and needs? it could posibly be a somewhat tramatic at first.( you know your son and am sure you can guess what is reaction would be,) but i think it could be good for him in the long run, because he should be able to get "one on one" attention, and maybe even less destractions that he can learn better. i am sure that this "daycaregiver" should be trained in such issues as your son has.so, me personally, i would do this day care, if i knew for sure that he would be taught at a correct level. and also, (at some small places like that, its sometimes easier for kids to make "close friends"). good luck! T., mom of one son.
I do not know what kind of issues your son may be dealing with, but if the school he is signed up for is willing to take him, I would start there. He can always be moved, and how can he learn if he is only in daycare?? Wouldn't now be the best time to put him in preschool and see how he does? I think you are right as he would be going backwards and not forwards. Trust yourself as a mom, and he can always be moved later. But putting him in this class you could be pre-labeling him before he gets a chance to prove himself. I don't thing just a test can make a little boy be something, I think that it would be a progressive behavior that would show how big or small an issue might be. You can always work with whatever the problem is at home. Just a mom's opinions.
J.....Don't let ANYone rush you into a decision about your son....all this in a few days? Sounds a little rushed...my advice would be to ask his Pediatrician what HE/SHE thinks....they'll listen to your concerns as well as the schools and will have a much better objective view than the school he's attending right now.I'm raising my granddaughter and she's a special needs kid to some degree....HER school started talking about her being ADHD as early as 2nd grade.....I talked it over with her Dr. and she said no way...so we continued on through elementary school without meds...when she reached the 5th grade,pre-puberty kicked in and ...low and behold...she turned out to be low on the scale of ADHD and she now is on a very low dosage of meds for it and it has helped emmensly as far as her school wotk goes...home life on the other hand can be challenging from time to time but I can live with that aspect as long as I know she's getting all she can from school.A converted garage doesn't sound all that condusive to a good start for Kindergarden. I should add,that my little girl is an honor roll student at John Hopkins Middle School,in St.Pete ,in the Magnet program and has just been invited to the AVID program as of next year...she's also musically gifted. Give your son a chance to find out what really interests him and give him every opportunity to explore that interest...even if it changes from year to year...sooner or later...ya'll will hit on the one thing that really pops his little cork and then you'll know just what to do to keep him involved in school and all that goes with it.I hope I was some help J..
B.
Maybe you never realized how bad it was because it isn't-- don't take someone else's evaluation of your son!
have you talked to Waldorf School?
Also the best source I know is ChildrenBehaviorHelp. com- they are super
For heaven sake don't let your son be labeled, and in a garage.
best of luck- and fight for your son-
k
Hi J.! First thing breath!....do not let anyone pressure you into something that you are not comfortable with for YOUR child. I am a COTA (Certified Occupational Therapy Assistant) and I work with special needs kids and adults and have been in the field for 16 yrs. I actually have treated a little girl in the same school; First Lutheran School (Nursery Rd, Clearwater)impressed with the school when I was there. However, this service was not provided through school, but a home therapy company through medicaid. If there are "issues" talk to your son's Dr. for his/her opinion and your options. I have to tell you that a converted garage all day with other boys with behavior issues in not your solution. Stick with your gut feeling...keep your son in the Lutheran school and with the O.T. and whatever the Dr. recommends. Project Challenge is NOT the final decision you are. Feel free to contact me with any questions "____@____.com"
Best of Luck!!
K.
