Advise About Family Pet

Cats and dogs can be tough, because either they are good with kids, indifferent, scared, or really bad around kids. And they never change, there's next to nothing you can do to improve the situation with the cat. The cat will likely always be mean to your kids. Separation is the best option - baby gates, cat doors, keeping it in separate rooms is going to be the best option, unless you can find a new home for the kitty.

On a side note, see if your area has a volunteer cat care and shelter group. They may be able to help find another home for the cat.

On yet another side note regarding the poo outside the box. Is the box getting cleaned out on a regular basis (once a day or every other day) Cats can be fussy about where they go. It's not unusual for a house-broken cat to go outside the box if a litterbox is to full, if the box does not have enough litter, or if the box is obstruced in some way. Is the box in some place remotely "private." Cats can also go outside the box if they feel threatened or scared. Something to check.

Good Luck!

We, too, have a cat, 13, who doesn't really like people in general -- not just kids. He prefers not to be be petted. But he is a good fellow and keeps to himself. (My younger daughter is 12 and adores him, even though he's not friendly. She recognizes this is just the way he is.)

I don't think all pets are fun and exactly the way we want them to be. Your kids have to be taught to realize that this kitty isn't fond of playing and to stay away or she might bite. Pretty easy to teach. If you don't teach them, the kitty will!

Get a litter box with a lid. She's probably just not squatting in the middle.

It sounds like she's a nice cat. I don't believe you can have an animal killed just because it doesn't quite match your expectations. The kids will learn to live with her. My kids did with my crabby cat.

Not sure if it will help or not, but feliway may make kitty a little more comfortable. It is a pheromone can a room diffuser can be used and can help greatly with stress. I know several people who have used it for urinating/defectating out of the box and also when adding new pets to the household and have been happy with the results. If she has claws you can use soft paws/claws which are little caps that go over the nails. We use them on one of ours to keep her damaging the carpet when she scratches it.

It sounds like you and your husband are already giving kitty her own time with you, which is great and you have her checked out to make sure there is not a health issue. Good luck to you and your family.

Realizing cats climb, but are you able to put a gate around the cats area so they are separated? Maybe you can remove it in the evening or during nap time so you can have 1 on 1 time with the cat.

My MIL's cat goes outside the box too. She is older my MIL thinks her time is almost up and it is one of the stages of getting older.

You mentioned that you took her to the vet for defecating outside of her litterbox but you didn't say if she had any testing done. A lab panel can identify or rule out any underlying medical conditions that could be making her uncomfortable and consequently grumpy. Cats tend to be very private and clean so defecating outside of the box could be her way of telling you that something is wrong. Has her food, litter, or litterbox location been changed recently? Those can sometimes trigger negative responses from a cat that's particularly sensitive. If you're committed in trying to keep your kitty, you might consider investing in some tests (if you haven't already). If tests are inconclusive and you're willing to go the extra step, you could also consider taking her to a specialist for a behavioral evaluation. (In Phoenix, there is a veterinary practice dedicated specifically to diagnosing and working on behavioral problems for companion animals. There might be one in your area too.) I work in a veterinary hospital and I've seen geriatric cats placed on anti-anxiety medication to treat inappropriate urination/defecation when no medical cause is defined and it seems to work well for those patients. At 10 yrs, she might be a little too young to consider senility as a cause for the litterbox issue but that is sometimes the reason for 'missing' the box and I suppose it could be a possibility.

Because your cat is older and the children came after the household structure was established, her behavior could just be stress related. In general, older cats do tend to become grumpier and unfortunately her intolerance of the kids may not be something that can be fixed. In that case, she may do better to be placed in a quiet new home with adults. Sometimes local rescue groups are more able to take in pets than the county shelters so maybe try that. Euthanasia should definitely be a last resort and personally, I would exhaust all other avenues before considering that as a solution. I hope that you find a way to help your kitty so that she can remain with your family.

By getting a second cat! (This was my aunt and uncle). Their family cat (from before kids) didn't like kids. Similar situ, the kids learned to stay away from her, although there were isolated incidents. As soon as they got a 2nd cat, however, the problems disappeared. It turned into the "kids cat" and the "adult cat". Also, the kids would tell their friends "Mogul likes people, but Iris is mean. So we can play with Mogul, but not Iris. SHE's cranky."

I have had to teach my children that cats have sharp parts and will bite and scratch. I have two very docile, L. cats and then I have a she devil. We have all been bitten and scratched by psychokitty.
Can you give kitty a room to herself?
Get one of those cat doors the kids can't get through so she can have her own room. Maybe even your room.
Good luck. I hope you don't have to give kitty away or have her put down.

My cat was going outside the litter box (out of the blue it started happening ) and after testing we found out that he has a inflamed urinary tract. We had to stop giving him dry food and start giving him wet food because it contains more of a water base.. KNOCK ON WOOD since then, we have had no issues... We also moved the litter box into our garage and put a cat door there. That way he can go in and out as he pleases and have his "private time" to do his business...

I would NOT get rid of your cat.. You will have such guilt over putting a completely healthy cat down, especially if the cat is friendly to you and your husband...

Just try to emphasis to your children that your kitty isn't the friendliest and likes to keep to herself.. She gets grumpy because she's scared of to fast of movement. So to play it safe let's not touch or play with the kitty..

Good luck~

I would never even think of putting my cat down or giving him away to someone else. It is okay if the cat doesn't really show affection to the kids. The kids will learn to stay away from him and you never know - as they get older, the cat might accept them more. My only suggestion is seeing if the vet can suggest some kind of med to relax the cat a little. I don't know that this is the best option because I don't see it as an extreme problem, but if you must figure out a solution - this could be one. Of course, you would have to give the cat the med every day, which isn't an easy thing to do.

My cat did bite my daughter once, but she was being a little too rough with her. I couldn't possibly yell at my cat for that. Rarely, the cat will hiss or swat, but that is not harming my daughter so I'm okay with that as well. Like you said, most of the time the cat prefers not to go near her anyway.

It sounds like maybe the kids and cat need to be slowly acquainted with the cat or ask the vet about the cat being jealous or scared of the kids and how to introduce them safely with each other. If you feel it's dangerous then put an add for your cat to a good home, maybe there is an older couple or someone who wants a cat who isn't a frisky kitten. The defecating outside the litter box sounds like a cry for attention, if the vet has cleared any suspicion of conditions. I would never condone putting down a healthy or even ill animal unless there is no other option, but I also would not put the kids in danger if nothing works. The ad could propose a solution, include a good picture of the cat.

I agree with Momma L's answer. That's sounds like a good idea to do.

keep the cat in a kid free zone such as in your bedroom or spare room, where he/she can rest and have peace from the kids.

I do that with my dog during the day who is also older (i've had her since she was a pound puppy) and getting cranky and nips at the kids when they become too obtrusive. I put her in a nice kennel in our room for a few hours so she can have some peace and then she's fine so I let her out. When she starts to get cranky again, or I am cleaning or cooking and can't be right there with her at all times to supervise her with the kids at close range, then she goes back in the kennel.

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As for going outside the litter box, have you changed litter? Some cats are very picky about the litter they get, and older cats often have a harder time holding their stools from age, so adding another litter box to the house could help. Also, it could have found a new territory to mark. If it is going in the same place, then move the litterbox to that place.

She could be getting arthritic and having a harder time getting to the box as well.

Sometimes, cats that are not feeling well go outside their litter box. Since your cat is a senior, have you taken him/her in for a senior exam lately?

I've worked with animals at vets and shelters and those are some suggestions. Here is a site with some tips too:
http://www.thefrugallife.com/litter_box.html

find someone who has a farm they always take cats for the mice issue