Advice Regarding Cost of Entertainment When Camping with Others

I am with Michelle on this one...group outings are just that it is the being part of the group, place yourself in her shoes, not having the money to do this with her friends and her child because there are way to many costly activities to do...there are alternative fun things to do that will not cost you a thing camping, as really camping should only cost the amount of food and camp site...

Tricky...

At one point it's not fair for you make your child hold out on doing the fun activities that were probaly promised to your child but on the other hand it's not fair for that other child to sit back at camp knowing all the other kids got to go. It's not fair his mom is broke.

This is a hard one, I guess there is several options you'll just have to come up with what works for you.

I guess for me the factor would be why does this mom not have any money? Did she gamble it away, drink it away, poor spender, or does she have legit reasons for being broke like her car just needed repairs,she's a single mom or the econonmy? I have a heart and can be generous in situations like this but not when the mom is just inconsiderate and did something stupid with her money.

Here's your options

A)Noone goes on the special activities/outings, find things that are free to do around the campsite (everyone loses there and is disappointed but it's being part of a team)

B)You cut down how many outings your doing and do whatever you can to help cover the cost for that mom/child maybe just go on one special outing (probaly your best option)

C)That mom/child just don't come camping at all (probaly lose a friendship over that one)

Now I feel a wee bit different. Isn't the purpose of going with friends so that the kids have peers to interact with and therefore have a better experience for all. For you as adults have other adults to socialize with? The reason behind camping is not just to sleep under the stars but to have activities and closeness to the ones around you. With camping are a lot of other activities you can do. When we go camping, we do not take part in activities that can be done just by driving to the facility. Why can't you guys do some cheaper stuff together? Enjoy the camp grounds. Hike, do water activities. Do family games. I by no means would pay the way of them as the economy is soooo bad right now; but I would think of alternative things with her that are a little more cost effective. Even when we do Jellystone, we do not pop to the Dells, we make that another trip in itself. There are a ton of activities that can take place besides the places you mentioned. If you go and she does not, it will not be pretty when you return, plus it will make her kids very sad. It is not the kids fault. I almost think I would rather cancel the entire trip with them and do an alternative place on my own rather than go without them. I think it will take what can be a trip of WONDERFUL memories and turn it into a trip with a lot of uneasy feelings and not so happy memories. Trust me, we have friends who do not manage money well (will just blow it when they come into it); but we would not do what you are mentioning even to them. JUST MY OPINION; but I do think you are going to be "changing" a friendship and not for the better. You & your family will probably even loose them as friends.

The economy is getting tight, groceries and gas cost more. You all may have planned this trip months ago, but face it, life happens. Maybe months ago she had the money, but perhaps something you're not aware of has come up.

Perhaps she always feels pressure trying to "keep up" financially, but has finally reached a point where she can't keep up. All I can say is things must be tough for her, because in the current culture we live in today, there is nothing more humbling than having to tell others you don't have enough money to do something. She's got guts. Furthermore, she has great faith and trust in you as a friend. She's trusting you'll be understanding, and will be fair to her and her child. She clearly wants to be with the group and have fun. I don't think she wants a handout, and I don't think she wants to be a wet blanket. But obviously she's facing some challenges of her own and is hoping you'll cut her a break.

The reasons could be endless why she's asking for concessions now. Does it really matter what those reasons are? I guess I'm wondering why you're so determined to do these costly activities, even if she can't? It sounds like the trip was orginally planned so that your entire group of friends and their kids could spend a fun time together.

I may be reading this wrong, but from your tone, I definitely pick up dismay and maybe even a sense of entitlement to call the shots on the entire trip just because you're providing the tent, and other accommodations. I don't know you or your friends nor the dynamics of the realitionship. I guess I'd recommend taking her feelings into account, and perhaps you consider whether it's fair to go ahead and do activities that would exclude this one friend. I think her feelings would be hurt for sure if you did. It would probably put a rift in the friendship amongst all of you..and would probably ruin the entire trip mood-wise. Is it worth it? Perhaps a refocus on why you're all getting together in the first place is order. Whatever you do, don't get caught up in semantics, or into a tit for tat about whether activities/things are divided amongst yourselves equally in a monetary sense. This is a quick way to put a real damper on the whole weekend for everyone, and as I already said, probably will dampen the friendship in the long haul as well.

In short, I ask you to consider this; Is this a valued and well loved friend? I think true friendship isn't measured by how much you can get out of a person...or whether or not they're chipping in as much as you. That's like little kids fighting over who gets to use the slide next. Real friendship is measured by the amount of love and support you and others give each other.

If this friend has sat up through the night commiserating with you, has had you to her home for dinner, watched your child for you, or shown any other measure of friendship or love toward you and your family, she and her child deserve your compassion and consideration. Don't harden your heart to maybes, even if she had something as serious as a gambling problem or worse, you owe it to her to listen to her plea and be compassionate of her plight. S

Most likely, her financial woes aren't because of something so dire as addiction, but rather she probably doesn't want to grovel for a handout so she and her child can tag along, and is asking in the best way she can to help her out. If so, be a true friend and get her help. If it's just an honest shortage of money, be a good friend and give her a break.

Save the "extras" for when it's just you and your child, and go back to the drawing board with the entire group and find affordable activities the entire group would enjoy doing. Afterall, maybe the others invovled are feeling the same thing but aren't saying so.

Last but not least, most camping sites have plenty to do that don't cost money. There's always scavenger hunts, hiking and biking. What about fishing or onsite swimming? If there's a nearby town, window shopping at the local shops is cheap and fun. Get creative. Get a boys scouts / girl scouts official camping guide/book for camping activities that are both creative and affordable.

Just some food for thought. Good luck in what you decide to do.

I think you are being very generous in having everyone use your equipment. If she knew about it for months, why couldnt she save the money? If money is an issue, why did she agree to go in the first place?? Does she have money to just send her kid and she stay at the camp ground?? Or could she just meet you at the activities? That way she doesnt have to pay for lodging or extra food.

I hate to say it, but perhaps she should stay home. It is not fair for her to make you guilty for planning a special trip for your 10 year old. It is embarrassing sometimes to admit you are a little broke, but you shouldnt deprive the rest of the group.