I have an in home daycare and have been doing this since Nov. 3, 2010....so not very long. However; I think it has been long enough for the children and myself to become comfortable. Well that hasn't seemed to happen. My son will be 2 in June and I watch boy girl twins that are 2 three days a week, a little girl that is 2 1/2 4 days and a little boy that is 1 3 days. The only time I seem to have a lot of issues is when the twins are here. They are very different from the other children including my son in that they cry and whine for everything. The yell at everyone especially my son constantly and I have to hold the little boys legs when I pick him up for a diaper change because he kicks me pretty hard for being so small. So I am sure you are thinking well just give the parents notice and move on. Easier said than done because they are FAMILY. Our parenting styles are night and day and I am sure that is my biggest issue. I think that maybe running an in home daycare is not the right fit for me and my family, but I need to be with my son and this is the only way to financially do that right now. Oh and one last thing.......I think I might be pregnant! How on earth am I going to handle this with the added emotions pregnancy brings????
I have tried talking to the twins parents. It is almost as if it goes in one ear and out the other. The only feedback I have gotten is from their dad and that is that he spanks them when they do something like that. Then the mom just tells me about how many times they watched Elmo or Toy Story the night before.........
Well the twins will not be coming to my hime anymore. Not because of anything that I mentioned above either. One of them had a nasty rash covering her torso and the other twin started to get it as well. After saying that it should probably be seen by a Dr 5 times because I was very uncomfortable with it and the twins were uncomfortable as well, I finally said that they couldn't come back until we knew what the rash was. Well they made the call to not bring them back at all. Oh and I am NOT pregnant.
Working with family most times can be difficult at best. You need to tell them that they need to make other arrangements for day care. After the twins are gone, see how things go for a month or two.
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CJ,
I've provided childcare for nearly 25 years now. I can say that sometimes a certain child or the mixture of two certain personalities can make life difficult. But eventually, with patience it does get better.
The first 5 years are truly hard years as you try various ways to learn how to organize your day, deal with the various personalities, communicating with parents, finding a few minutes for you, and trying at all to feel like you are doing it well.
It does concern me a little to hear you saying that you might do this for the money and so you can be home with your kids even though you are unhappy with it. Only you can decide if what you are experiencing is frustration while you learn the ropes or if it's more.
Last week I was out with some kids running errands. My kids and I have a very good time on our outings and we do both my errands and fun things for them. We have a system for getting in and out of the vehicle and holding hands and keeping everyone safe. People are constantly coming up to me and telling me how wonderful my kids are. Well this woman came to me to talk to me and I expected more of the same. But what she said sickened me. She said that she knew I must do daycare and I smiled and said yes. She said that she did it for 8 years and HATED it. I was real sad to think about all those children having to live with someone 5 days per week that didn't want to be there with them.
I do agree with the other poster that said let go of the family. It's okay. You don't have to do it for them. Then evaluate how you are feeling. Don't take too long. It's not fair or right for the children to suffer if you just don't like doing this.
My one sister, Kate, watches my other sister, Eileen, kids. The situation sounds very similiar to your situation. Kate made it very clear to Eileen that in her house it's her rules and that the crying, whining, aggressive behavior would not be tolorated and that they would be punished for such behavior (i.e. timeouts, privileges taken away, etc). While they still have issues, the kids know that in Kate's house they are to follow a certain set of rules. You can try something like this, and if they don't like it, then they will be the ones to pull their kids and you won't be kicking them out. It will take some time to get them onto your way of doing things, but it can work. It worked for my sisters. Eileen's kids act the same way you described in Eileen's home, but don't even try the behavior in Kate's home. For what it's worth, this started when Eileen's kids were 2 and a baby. Now they are 4 and 1 1/2. Even the 1 1/2 year old knows what behavior is tolorated.
Im sorry I dont have any advice for you as to help with the issue at hand but I just wanted to say Congrats to you for even being able to make it this far with all those little ones running around all day. I think I would have gone bonkers long before you. And if you turn out to be pregnant congrats on yourt new little one
I babysat my cousins kid for a summer and it was a nightmare! You think its going to great and then reality sets in. How much time do you really get to spend with your son with all those other kids? Close your daycare down if you're miserable and prego. Can you get a job in the evenings? That way you could be home with your son all day and his dad or grandparents could be with him in the evenings? We did this for years until my husband started with the company he works for now and I get to sah with baby and be home for my bigger kids. i feel for you. good luck
Just goes to prove my saying-you never enter into a business relationship with anybody that you would not be able to fire or chastise with ease. This especially goes for family. Sounds to me like you would be ok if it weren't for the twins. And the thing is-if I were the parent of one of the other kids I would be greatly concerned about the twins actions and the fact that they are your family. I have to think the other parents don't know about this.
Since you are the one that started this business you are going to need to buck up and talk to the family members of the twins as uncomfortable as that may be. If you cannot do this you are going to have to close up shop. These are the only 2 answers that you have. IT is not fair or safe to continue as you are.
If you're going to be taking care of a group of toddlers, you ought to get a serious discipline philosophy in place ASAP. Read some books or web sites. Find out what makes sense to you, and create some House Rules. I don't mean you have to be mean old tyrant, but a set schedule for the day and a firm set of behavior rules will help. It will be hard at first, but over time they will love it. Sounds like maybe they don't get much structure at home!
This is your chance to have a positive influence on those twins -- and the other kids too. I have never run a daycare, but I have 3 kids and I can tell you that everyone is happier (YOU included) when the day is structured, everyone knows the rules, and consequences are consistently enforced. Good luck, I'm sure that is very stressful.
Unfortunately with a daycare you are going to experience all walks of life. Some more stable than others..Be consistent and work on the behavior..If there is whinning and crying for everything you can institute rules that they need to ask not cry for things...Be patient. Also, if you are preggers this would be the time to hire a part time asst to help carry the load. By summer time a high school kid will need to make some extra $$ Good luck
