Advice on Wedding Reception Introductions for Divorced Parents

Updated on December 09, 2007
L.O. asks from Bethel, CT
16 answers

My daughter is getting married in the fall. Her fiance's parents are divorced, and their relationship is very poor. My daughter was asking me about what to do with some circumstances since her future in-laws cannot stand the sight of each other. They definitely will not walk in together when at the reception the family members and bridal party are all introduced. Her fiance's stepmom, will not be announced. Does anyone have experience with this? Can they be announced and enter separately? My daughter said that maybe not introduce anyone, but she feels she wants to be able to introduce my husband and I. I keep wishing that these people (including her fiance's sister) could put all this aside because this wedding is about my daughter and their son, but it doesn't seem like this is how it will be...

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.D.

answers from New York on

Coming from a large family on both mine and my husbands side I have seen this situation many times. It is perfectly acceptable to introduce them separately by saying the father of the groom mr. .......... escorted by ....... and the mother of the groom Ms........ escorted by ........ The person escorting them in can be anyone from a son or daughter to a second husband or wife. It is all very common these days. Best of luck to you, don't let other people get you down or stressed. Enjoy this special time Its her Day!!!

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.F.

answers from New York on

Hi,
I am a wedding photographer so I see all kinds of weddings, divorced parents are often a little tricky to plan around especially with the intorduction and even the photos. Try not to worry too much about, a wedding should be such a happy event but seems times details like this can really stress out the family, especially the bride.
Most often when the the parents are no longer together, the MC will introduce them separately, or your son-inlaw and daughter could talk to them and see if they would mind walking in together with their new spouses and sibling ext and just introduce them as the Family of the groom. I hope this helps...
I wish your daughter and her future husband many happy years together!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.L.

answers from Albany on

Congratulations! Such a wonderful time- to bad some parents can't remember that it is not about them! I would not introduce any parents. Just the bridal party. I have never been to a wedding that did that and would not even worry about it. The parents can be in the church program and walk down the aisle- that's enough. You just can't introduce one set of parents and not the other. Not a good way to start off- I have been to weddings where the parents are divorced and they make a scene- tell your daughter to not worry to much about them. They will have issues regardless. It's her day and they will look stupid if they act up. Just don't give them reasons! Have fun planning!!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.H.

answers from New York on

I was recently engaged (but we broke up and it really ended up being a good thing) and planning a wedding. When I was planning I had the same problem. His parents were together and mine were both divorced and re-married. Also I was at a wedding this past summer with the same kind of structure. AS far as the step-mother goes...if everyone including her is fine with her not being introduced then that is not a problem. With the father and mother have them walk down individually by themselves or pair them seperatly with another wedding party. I was going to have my father and stepmother walk down along and then have my mother and stepfather walk behind them. Your guests will not care either way. tHe only issues are with your son-in-law, daughter and the parents. All else will be fine.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.P.

answers from New York on

I am a divorced mother of a son who just got married in June. My ex-husband and I , his mother and father , walked our son down the isle each of us on either side of him, proud to be asked to be part of such a glorious day. We were introduced as the mother and father of the groom...we will always be his mother and father , no matter what!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.H.

answers from New York on

This is so common now. Absolutle they can be introduced seperatly. They should be introduced as ms. ----- mother of the groom, escorted by,mr. ------- (whoever is escorting her), and ms ------- escorted by mr. ------ father of the groom. IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE STATED THAT SHE IS THE STEPMOM! This works just fine! Tell your daughter not to fret too much about it.this is her day! If they cant find a solution to walk into their sons wedding, then shame on them.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.B.

answers from New York on

My parents were divored and each remarried by the time my siblings and I got married. They were introduced separately with their spouces. It was not a problem. Seat them at different tables, on opposite ends of the room if the relationship is that bad.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.M.

answers from New York on

I've been to weddings when the parents were introduced separately. Most of the time the spouses (step parents) are introduced along side of the parents. Honestly the people at the wedding that don't know about the situation, will not care. It's more important to the bride and groom and their families (specially his in this case). I say if not announcing the step mom is OK with everyone, then that's what they should do. However if this is going to cause an issue, it is not worth the stress, and announce her with the dad to shut everyone up. I remember when I was getting married, every little detail stressed me. After the wedding was done, I was able to see the whole picture and couldn't understand why I sweat the small stuff anyway. The wedding will be a special day as long as the mom and dad and the sister stay in their respective corners and don't use the wedding as a war zone. Good luck and congratulations to you and your daughter. This is a very special time, and you should enjoy it.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.R.

answers from New York on

Hi L., don't get yourself upset. Someone will figure out something and your daughter's wedding day will be amazing. We had a similar situation in our family and so, my sister introduced my mother with the ring barer and my father with the flower girl. The kids were so cute that no one even noticed our parents weren't announced together. Good luck and I hope this helps. Best wishes to your family and your future in-laws!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.H.

answers from New York on

L.:
They def. can walk in separately. Perhaps the best man can walk in with your daughters mother in law and the maid of honor can walk in with her father in law. This way no one walks in by themselves and the dj can say father in law escorting maid of honor and best man escorting mother in law. Hope your daughter has a wonderful day.
L.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.C.

answers from New York on

Hi,

I'm 36 now and got married at 33. My parents were divorced when I was a few months old and have not been able to have a conversation since. When I got married I made an effort to include everyone. I became close to my step mother which as a child I would never have imagined. My parents were able to sit in the same room and talk as adults. The most amazing part was that my step mother and mother became friends. When I was pregnant they saw each other more. Once the baby came they actually went out of their way to speak to each other. The wedding took some effort but worked out. When everyone was introduced I had my father and his wife come in separately then my mother who was escorted by my ring bearer. The worst part was my husband's bratty little sister. His mother didn't attend but sent his sister who was five at the time. She started screaming during the ceremony after she walked down the isle. I wanted to choke her. There we are in the middle of our ceremony and there was no one there to shut her up. It may seem cold but his mom should have had the decency to go with her. She has never been a well behaved child. She' still a brat. Everything with my parents worked out fine. I even got the only picture in existence of me and both my parents together. Everyone just has to be willing to work together. Is there any reason why the step mother can't be announced with her father and you with your husband even though she's not in the wedding party? It would help keep things smooth. I didn't want to invite his sister but had to compromise even though I am extremely embarrassed by the fact that his mom is a pig and will do anything and anyone to keep her welfare. Everyone assumed she was his aunt's child as the idea that his mother wasn't even there was absurd. Most weddings have some type of family drama. There's also the issue of who's paying for the wedding. If it's her father she really needs to be flexible. As long as the step mom is respectful and does thing such as asking you what color dress you are wearing prior to picking her own it will be fine. I purchased a book about wedding etiquette and that helped me figure out all the details with a complicated family situation.

I wish you the best of luck. If you need a suit or tux for your son please be sure to email me as I sell children's clothing and can get you one that you buy for the same cost a rental.

Kim

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.H.

answers from New York on

We went to a wedding not too long ago. The Bride's Mom and step dad were announced together, then the brides dad and step mom were announced. It's pretty common these days to have parents announced with their current spouces.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.S.

answers from Albany on

If everyone is fine with them walking in separately, I would intro them separately. No biggie. Has everyone already agreed to not announce stepmom? It could be done easily enough and she could walk in with dad. I'd say they're fiance's dad and his wife. Most people attending would either already know the situation or not even care. Don't sweat someone else's bad behavior. It's on them! I have exes (daughter's dad and his family) and in any general conversations I always introduced them in relation to my daughter (Ali's dad, Ali's grandma, Ali's aunt) instead of fumbling over what kind of ex they were to me. Oh, my parents are divorced, too, and at my wedding we had 2 head tables for guests; mom and hubby at one, dad at the other. We split up my fiance's family too so no one felt like they were at the "2nd" table.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.J.

answers from Albany on

I don't see why they can't be introduced seperately. I think that would be just fine.

I think it would be awful not to have you introduced and you should not have to sacrifice that because of two adults that act like children.

My best to you and your daughter!

A.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.H.

answers from Elmira on

Yes, I had this happen with my daughters wedding too ! Yes it is ok to have then come in seperate or with whom every they other half is with. Good luck ..hope all turns out well. But remember this is all about your daughter and not the in-laws....L. H

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.M.

answers from New York on

Hi L.,
Please tell ur daughter to take a deep breath and relax.Her Fiance's parents can be in troduced seperatly and no his step-mother does not need to be introduced. These things happen, but should not ruin any part of very special day....Please tell your daughter to enjoy her very special day
N.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches