Advice on Siblings Sharing a Room?

HI K.,
My two boys share a room, they are 2 years apart. It amazes me sometimes what they can sleep through. See how it goes. If it doesn't work out you can always change it around since you have the option. My boys are now 6 and 4 and they like to be together at night. I think that it cuts down on a lot of the scared issues, since there is someone else there. Good luck on the new baby!

rearranging may be well worth it if she is a light sleeper. I would be careful on who you move to the new room. you are probabaly best to put the new baby in the new room. 15 mth olds may feel replaced if you move her out of her room and place the baby there. I had three children in one bedroom at one time and it is a challenge but do-able

My little one was 15 months old when the second one was born. The two kids share a room and while this is tough it is do-able.

I have to warn you though that they do wake each other at night and if i put them down for naps or bed at the same time they end up laughing and giggleing and keeping each other awake. To combat this we have set up a pac and play in our closet and when i have to put them down at the same time or if one is having a really bad night, i put one in the closet and one in the bedroom. It sounds bad but it works.

If i were you and you have the extra space i would make that room for the new baby. it will save you a lot of headaches. But then on the other hand the kids sharing a room CAN be done and the kids will adapt.

I am now struggling with being pregnant for a THIRD time (surprise, surprise!)and needing to put THREE kids in the same room. UGH. :)

HOpe this helps!

K., I faced the exact same thing 20 months ago (at 37) when my 2nd son was born, and my boys are also 17.5 months apart. We originally intended them to share a room within a month or two (our first son left the bassinet in our room and went to his crib at about 4-5 weeks). However, we quickly realized that would be a mistake if we wanted our older son (or the rest of us) to sleep through the night. As it was, the simple fact of having a new baby in the house threw him off his routines and he stopped sleeping through the night consistently (and that lasted for several months, then they both began to slept thru the night but in separate rooms). We wound up keeping #2 in our room in a bassinet for the first 6 months (I was nursing so it was more convenient for me anyway). Then we moved him into his big brother's room (and into a crib) at 6 months (just as #1 turned two). That setup didn't work because #1 kept climbing up into the crib, landing too close to comfort or even on the baby, because he was excited to share a room and wanted to play. (Our cribs can't use crib tents, or that would've solved our problem--I highly recommend using one for the baby if you do have them share a room, for this exact reason). So that lasted about a week and we ultimately moved just the crib into our guest room (took down a twin bed to do it). That worked great for a year, then we moved #2 back into big brother's room this past Thanksgiving. Despite the fact my then 17-month old and almost 3y.o. both occasionally awaken at night and cry, neither has EVER woken the other one up!

But back to your immediate concern... your daughter likely WILL wake up when the baby cries if they're sharing a room, light sleeper or no, simply because it will be so different to share a room, let alone with a person she's just coming to know. She may even wake up just hearing the baby in your room. But she could also become accustomed to it after just a few weeks. Which admittedly can seem like MONTHS when you're caring for a toddler and a newborn, I know.

My own experience leads me to suggest that if you can afford the space for #2 to have a separate room when it's time to move out of yours--even if it's just enough space for the crib and nothing else--then do whatever it takes to move stuff around. And you may find that's a great opportunity to do some decluttering and purging (we sure did). Let your daughter get used to the new family member and to do a little more growing up before asking her to share her room. So much of her life will turn upside down, and she'll only understand it on certain levels for the first several months, but that will change as she approaches her 2nd birthday. We found that milestone and the approach of Christmas & cold weather were helpful in explaining why the boys would begin sharing a room. Good luck, whatever you decide. And remember, no matter what you do decide, you need to be flexible and see how it plays out. Do not be afraid to say one day, "This isn't working," and to make whatever change you think will work. Life is all about starting over, new chances, and most of all, CHANGE! Good luck!

My daughters are 19 months apart, and though we kept our baby in our room for about 5 weeks, I could not imagine having both in the same room. My baby was waking up at least once per night for a feeding for 6 months. While my older daughter probably would have slept through that for the most part, I would have been nervous the whole time about waking her up and having to deal with trying the get 2 children back to sleep. I am working full time, so for me, the only thing that made sense was to have them in separate rooms. My 7 month old is thankfully sleeping through the night now, but she wakes about 1/2 to one hour earlier in the am. Because they are in separate rooms, then I can get the baby her bottle, change diaper, etc, until my toddler wakes up. If they were in the same room, I am almost certain they would both wake at the earlier time and that my toddler would probably be more cranky because of it.

all mothers are different with what they want to do with their kids.

i have 2 years old son who have his own bedroom. I am having girl that is due in July and i plan to keep my baby girl in my bdrm for few months, maybe up to 5 or so then I plan to set up the crib in my son;s bedroom (lucky that my son;s bedroom is not in boy color but in bright lime green with bright lemon yellow trims, so neutral colors and decorate is neutral too). I will have my baby girl nap in my son s bdrm and sleep with us during overnight in our bdrm as because i am plan on do full breast feed and co-sleep is easier for that too.

only. i am doing this because we dont have enough bedroom and lucky that my son is deaf so baby wake up in middle of night will not be issue for us.

you can keep ur newborn in your bdrm for few months then move into ur older daughter s bdrm.

you could always use a fan or soft radio as white noise so your olderc hild may still sleep even though the baby wakes up

My boys (age 4 and 9) share a room. We waited to put them in the same room together until the younger one was sleeping through the night. We kept his bassinet and then his crib in our room. Sure it was a little crowded, but it was worth doing that than having our older son woken up a lot.

This approach worked for us, but we have only two bedrooms in our house

Hi K.,
Both of our girls share a room. My 15 month old went in with her big sister at the age of 4 months and we could not be happier about having them share a room. It's great bonding for them. My oldest woke up a few times when the younger one would awake during the night for a feeding but after about a week or so, she stopped waking up and now doesn't even hear her in the event the yonger one gets up during the night. At bedtime they do giggle and play a little bit, but my husband and I get a kick out of it, it's great to listen to them play and laugh together, in the AM to wake one another up, they will play their glow worms to let the other one know that they are awake...too cute. At first I was hoping they wouldn't have to share a room but having a two bedroom house made it the only option. We are very happy that they are together and share "their" time. I think that even when we move into a bigger home, that I will have them still share a room as it has made them have a great bond and they enjoy it. Good luck.

Hi K.,

My son was just about 2 1/2 when I gave birth to my 2nd son. Already a pro at going to sleep & sleeping through the night at that point & then forced to share a room ... he's done beautifully the whole time. They still share a room (now 6 yrs old & 3 1/2 yrs old) and they refuse to sleep unless the other is in the room with them.

I personally think it's good for them to learn to sleep through the noise. If the baby cries, I'm sure you get up right away to get the baby & take him/her to the other room to do whatever it is you have to do & return him/her to the crib to go back to sleep.

I didn't have any problems at all, I too was VERY nervous to have my oldest son wake up from cries - it happened very few times in all honesty - and I'd just sing lullabye's & they'd both fall asleep. =0)

Good luck, Congratulations & God Bless!

I have children that are 19 months apart and the younger one is 6 weeks right now. My biggest worry when she was born was that she would wake up my older son with her crying. We have her as far away from him as possible at night and he has a sound machine in his room to block out background noise. I would definitely wait until your youngest is sleeping through the night to put them together. The last thing I wanted was to have both of them awake at night. I value my son's sleep so much - if he is well-rested it makes my day so much better, even if I am up at night with my daughter.

You could keep the baby in your room longer. Or move the baby back if the new baby wakes the older one up. Our almost 7 month old is still in ours in the bassinet because we keep not having time to set up the crib. But I kind of like it, it makes night feedings really easy.

My first daughter was just over 17 months when daughter #2 was born, and they shared a room similarly to what yours will do. I'm sure there was a short period of adjustment, but actually I think #1 liked having the company of #2 overall. The baby did not affect the sleep of my toddler at all that I recall, and vice versa. Both the girls were very good sleepers: #1 slept 12 hrs/night from about 3 month old; #2 slept 8-10 hrs/night by 6 weeks. (Thank God!) Why don't you try it for a bit? See what happens over a period of several weeks, and then re-evaluate? As far as the lightness of your elder child's sleeping, I believe she will adjust to the new sounds and (subconsciously) learn when baby cries for hunger or for distress, as we moms do. She will probably learn to sleep through normal sounds and wake up for extraordinary ones...at least, that's my experience.

When my third child was born, I had all three in the same room for a few years, and it worked out very well. Be encouraged!

My son was 18 months when we brought his new sister home. He started night waking to her crying when they were in separate rooms. He only got better around now and the baby is now 6 months. I would use that separate room, or share your room with the baby for a longer period of time.

Hi K.,
I was in the same situation, my boys were 14 months apart.
I kept the younger one inmy room untill he was three months old, then moved him into the other room with his brother, he was a very quiet baby and only made apeep to eat at night so he never wok the other one up unless he was isck or had a belly ache, I think it only happened twice, but they were fine sharing a room. and the older one loved having his brother there with him.

-T.

I am going to have the same situation....good luck :)

My son who is now 2 and his brother 5, both share a room. We moved the 2 year old in when he was about 10 months old because we were afraid that the older boy would clobber the baby! So when he was old enough to make some noise we moved him on in. It's still rough, naps on the weekend were a total nightmare, so I now put the 2 year old in for a nap first because he is a total goof and loves to get his older brother going. I am hoping they will be the best of friends but it worked out nicely for the 1st year to be with us .. In his own crib of course, we never believed in the co-sleeping thing. Good Luck.

i was concerned about the same thing; my daughter was 19 months when my son was born. i kept them separate until he was 3 months (bassinet in my room) and then just moved them in together. she is a light sleeper too, but the best way to "break" that is to start making noise! she does wake up sometimes and i blow her a kiss and then do my thing (get the baby) and she is now used to it. i have noticed now that now she can sleep through most of his feedings no problem but she does wake more easily in the mornings....

i have 4 kids and only have 2 bedrooms...

My boys (5 1/2 and 2 1/2) have shared a room for about a year and a half now. We waited until our little one was solidly sleeping through the night because our older one was a HORRIBLE sleeper and it took a lot to get him to sleep well.

You go through some bumps like people said- napping can be tricky and so is the time when the younger child is potty training. A couple of weeks ago our youngest decided he was done with diapers and didn't want them at night time. When he would wake up, we went with him (we heard and saw him get up on our monitor). By the third night, when I went out in the hall to meet my little guy, my older son was walking my little one to the bathroom- although he looked like he was in a fog, he had his arms on the little one's shoulders directing him where to go and whispering encouraging things to him. Thankfully, they are both back to sleeping through the night. You'll go through stages like that but it is worth it when you see how close they are. My pedi told me not to be surprised if the little one climbed in bed with the older one which he has done once or twice. Very cute.

Good luck to you and your family!

Hi,

I have 2 little girls somewhat close in age. They did not share a room but had rooms that shared the wall with their bed/crib. Even that was a disaster. Every time the baby woke up, my two year old would wake up and my husband would have to help get her back to sleep. My older daughter, not getting enough sleep turned very grumpy and irritable during the day. My baby daughter never really learned how to self sooth because every time she made a peep I ran in there to make sure she didn't start crying and wake my older daughter. Eventually it became such a nightmare that we ended up switching my older daughters room around so her bed was on a different wall and put a fan in both of their room to create white noise. This did help. Your one year old is going to be going through enough change. You don't need her grumpy and sleep deprived as well. You your self said she's a really light sleeper. I would do whatever I could to rearrange the other bed room and put the new baby there at least until it's old enough to be sleeping through the night.

Good Luck!

Hi K.,
It will be an adjustment initially for the children to share a room but it won't take long for your older one to become immune to the new baby waking during the night. We have 3 children 2 of which are 2yrs apart (almost 4 and almost 2) so they are very close. They didn't always share a room and even now it's completely optional but we've found that they look for one another at bedtime and sleep better with each other than they did apart. I think it's important to reassure the older child that she's not giving up or losing anything but rather she's gaining a sibling, big sister and big girl status to name a few. That way there is no jealousy or animosity when the baby arrives. Make your daughter feel that she is part of the decision to share her room with the baby. Enjoy your babies; they don't stay little very long!

If I were you I'd wait until the new baby is sleeping through the night before putting them into the same room. Ours are much farther apart in age (3.5 years) and they have slept together since the younger was about 5 months old. If you don't want the new baby in your room for more than a few weeks (I wouldn't!) I don't think you need to do a lot to set up the extra room. At that age, all they need for sleeping is a crib. You say your daughter is a light sleeper. With a new baby the last thing you wand is a baby AND a toddler getting up in the night. (I say this from long, hard experience. My older son still rarely slept through the night when I had my second and I nearly had a nervous breakdown from the lack of sleep.)

P.S. They are now 9 and 12 and still share a room -- and I think it makes for a nice bond. They're very close, even though they occasionally get on each other's nerves

It may be a little difficult in the begining. I have 4 children. 7 year old son, 4 1/2 year old daugher, 2 year old daughter and a 17 month old daughter. My last two were eleven months apart. You should get that other room ready. My 4 year old and my youngest shared a room. Clare was a fussy baby and was up a lot. I kept here with me a lot of the nights because I new she was going to get up. My 4 year old is a very good sleeper. She sleeps until at least 7a.m. The baby gets up sometimes between 6-6:30 a.m. You might be better off putting the baby in the other room. Its going to be hard if the two of them are up at the same time. Your 1 year old is still a baby. It will be like having twins only they are at different stages in life. Mine would be up at the same time at night and I would have to hold them both. It was hard for the first year. It did get better.

My 25mo currently shares a room with my 4mo. Like you I have a third bedroom I could use but it would take a lot of rearranging. Since the baby will sleep in your room the first few weeks, I'd say wait and see how the baby sleeps - and how your daughter does sleeping through a crying newborn in the house. I think my daughter actually became a deeper sleeper out of necessity as another poster mentioned might happen. Also, I should say that our baby is a very mellow child, so there's a lot of stirring and grunting if he's up at night rather than full-out crying. If I had a baby who woke up screaming (as my first one did) I doubt that our room-sharing situation would work. For naps, I put them down in separate rooms if they are sleeping at the same time. Good luck!

K.,
I kept my youngest in my room until she slept through the night so she wouldn't wake my oldest. It also helped me be able to breastfeed my youngest with minimal disruption to the members of our household.

Maybe put your new baby into a bassinet next to your bed and then put the new baby in with your daughter either once she sleeps through the night or once she is too big for the bassinet.

I hope the transition goes well!

IMHO rearranging that second room will be a lot less work than having TWO children up in the middle of the night. I'm currently on my 8th month of sleep deprivation and it's no picnic.

Whatever you decide, best of luck and congratulations on your new baby!

My girls are 22 months apart and share a room. They have since the baby outgrew the cradle at about 3 months. My oldest has always been the world's best sleeper so she seldom wakes up when the baby cries. If she does, she moves around a bit and falls back to sleep. I have the same situation as you - we have a third bedroom but we use it as a playroom and don't want to lose it! I have not regretted that decision and I think the two of them really like being in the same room, and enjoy each other.

The only caution I'll give you is from my experience - the baby is not a terrific sleeper and still wakes up most nights once or twice. In an effort to keep our oldest from being disturbed, we have been quicker to pick up the baby and even feed her to get her back to sleep. Now that she is over 9 months old, we are having to deal with this and trying to stop it, and hoping it doesn't require nights of crying! I feel like if the baby had her own room, we probably would have tried harder to get her to stop looking for us in the middle of the night, maybe even having her cry it out for a while. I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" to fix this problem after reading so many moms recommending it on this site, so I'll let you know! Good luck and hope for two great sleepers!

Our first two children are 16 months apart, and they share a room. I was so afraid of the baby waking up my 16-month old, that we kept him in our room for 7 months! Looking back on it, our 16-month old never woke up the nights that the baby was crying all night long. I'm sure all four of us would have slept better if everyone was in his/her designated room and bed. All kids are different, but kids adjust so fast. I bet your daughter will become a much deeper sleeper out of necessity.

Hi there,
I'm a mom of 6, soon to be 7, and our children have always shared rooms. They all got used to it, heavy and light sleepers alike. Although we did keep the babies in our room until they outgrew the cradle (3-6 months). Honestly, though, it may take a little adjustment, but most kids will just get used to certain noises and tune them out. And I've found that as they get older, they enjoy sharing a room (most of the time). Mine even request to have "sleepovers" in each others' rooms. All I would say is, give it a fair try -- you can always change things if it doesn't work well. Good luck, and congratulations on your new baby coming. You'll have your hands full with two that close together, but better full than empty, I always say! :)

We keep a Pack 'n Play in our bedroom, so if the younger one gets fussy overnight, we bring her into our bedroom and put her in the Pack 'n Play.

My first two are a year apart and share a room they love it We waited until my daughter slept through the night the to move her in. Luckily for us she did that at two months we waited about another month to make sure. So by three months they were sleeping in the room together no problem. I think they have a closer bond for it they are attached at the hip.
K.