What Do I Do for Sleeping Arrangements with New Baby on the Way?

With my twins they stay up playing for up to 1/2 an hr. half the time then get bored, and go to sleep, and then the other half the time they go to sleep right away. They have always shared a room though.

Hi C.-I went through this same problem when my 3rd was born, except we have a 3 bdrm cape-cod with the 3rd bedroom upstairs. At the time my middle was not 2 yet and I didn't want her upstairs. So we bunked the two older ones and put baby in her crib righf off the bat. It seems weird at first and I worried a lot but everyone was fine. We put the older girls to bed first and then when baby had her last feeding we put her down. We rarely had anyone wake up and if they did I just said "it's o.k. mom just had to get the baby" and everyone was fine, although a little cramped. Now the two older girls are upstairs-which was also very scary at first, but it has been really nice for them to have a huge room for all of their things, especially the little-choking hazard toys. Don't fret, it will all work out in the end no matter what you decide. :)

I have 3 1/2 and 2 year old girls. They love sleeping in the same room. We do bath and bedtime together and moved bedtime up by 15 minutes to allow for a little bit of "play" time. We also have a newborn girl who is in her own room for now due to night schedule. The older girls do not wake each other at night. in fact, the 3 1/2 gets up to go potty and doesn't wake her sister.

We had the same bedroom issues as you. A few months before our 3rd child was born, we tried having our 4 year old and 3 year old sleep in the same room to test the waters. Well they are like best friends and it really didn't work out after weeks of attempting to do so - they talked to much and laughed too much, etc. So my son stayed in his room and my daughter back to her room. The baby slept in our room for a few months. Then when it was time for her to sleep in her crib, we moved her in with my son (didn't care if it was a girl sleeping in a boys decorated room) because he is the sound sleeper....and when she would wake up in the middle of the night, he would either sleep through it or he could easily go back to sleep.
You could also set the crib in your room for awhile too.
It all works out - don't stress about it - if it doesn't, rearrange rooms.
Good luck - 3 young kids will keep you on your toes!!!

I would recommend putting the baby in a crib in your room until he/she gets older. That will give your boy time to move to a "big boy" bed and get used to it before anymore changes need to take place. If your room cannot accomodate a crib due to size, I recommend a bassinet or co-sleeper. I did that with both of my girls and it worked out well. My daughter moved to a big girl bed at about 20-21 mos, and I am shocked at how easy it was. I literally set the twin bed up and that night she climbed in and went to sleep. I know some moms out there are probably cursing my name right now, but it really was much easier than I expected. Good luck and congratulations!

I posted a similar question but with #2 on the way and a 3 bedroom house. Unfortunately I got some nasty responses about "how dare I put guests before my children" (b/c currently our 3rd bedroom is the guestroom with getting the basement finished eventually but not in time for the baby). I sure hope you get kinder, more helpful responses than I did! From a planning standpoing, if I had one of each (a boy and a girl) I would find out the gender of #3 to make planning easier (but I understand that it's personal choice). Good Luck!

If you have the room, put the crib in your bedroom. Then the baby only has to switch rooms, not beds, when it's time. I kept my babies in my bed and co-sleeper until the night feedings ended, then moved them into their own bedrooms. That buys you time as well to move the others around until you find a good fit.
Not sure how old of an "older" mom you are, but I am 48 with a 5 year old and a two year old. There's lots of us out there now. Best of luck.

Whatever you do, don't stress over this. My mom and dad had my brother sleeping in a dresser drawer for the first 3 months of his life (in 1983). Then we shared a room (I was 2 1/2 when he was born) after that since my dad was in the army and we only had a 2 bedroom apartment. When my last brother was born we were living in a 3 bedroom home (I was 5 1/2 and Justin was almost 3 then) and I shared my room with the baby until he was almost a year (my room was closer to my parents room and I was the older one) then they moved him in with my brother.

My kids are 4 and 8 months and share a room because we only have a 2 bedroom right now. We hope to move in the next 2 years and then have another baby. The baby will stay in our room for a couple of months until he/she is sleeping through the night (I get terrible post-partum depression and need to be close to the baby so I do not have to get out of bed when they wake up) then we will probably move him/her in with Kylie for awhile since she is older, but we will see how they both interact with the baby and what the baby's sex is.

Just remember, if you all of a sudden move one of the kids out of their room and into the others room, there may be a bigger problem with jealousy when the new baby comes. It is one thing to share "your room" with a baby and a total other to lose "your room". Just a thought.

Good luck and congrats!

Hey C.,
My kids are 3 1/2 (Nicky), 2 1/2 (Sophia) and 9 months (Gianna), we were in the same situation as you, minus a 4th bedroom. We also didn't know the sex of our baby when I was pregnant and I was nervous about the sleeping arrangements. After ruling out moving into a 4 bedroom home, we all adjusted pretty well. Gianna slept in a basinette in our bedroom for close to 5 months. We had set up our 2nd crib in Sophia's room shortly after Gia was born and transitioned her into a "big-girl" bed. Nicky, being the oldest and only boy, remains alone in his bedroom... (Until baby # 4 comes along, hopefully sooner rather than later...) Sophia has adjusted well and it all worked out for us because she is a super sound sleeper, she remains undisturbed when Gianna occasionally wakes in the middle of the night. If she does wake up we "tag-team" them, my husband with one and me with one... We usually carry Gianna out of the bedroom, as not to disrupt Sophia more than necessary, and rock her in the rocking chair we left in our bedroom. We tried not to make a big deal out of everything with new baby arriving and all the changes being made, we kept most of our normal routines and both felt very strongly about continuing as usual. Because of this, nothing was a big deal to the kids either... We definitely notice they feed off of our moods, good or bad. Good luck and congratulations.
J.

Hi C.,

Well, I don't have 3 kids, but I had the same issue with having my 2nd. We only have 2 rooms on the first floor. What we did is we just put the baby in with my (then) 20 month old. They do wonderful together. They completely sleep through eachothers noises, even crying (for the most part). The first week my oldest woke up sometimes, but we just told him the baby was awake and laid him down, he went right back to sleep.

They learn to sleep together.

Also, growing up. My parents only had 2 rooms on the first floor, my older sister, me and younger brother shared a room (the three of us) for some years. My mom said we just learned to sleep through eachothers stuff.

All my kids shared (or currently share) rooms. Put the two oldest together. Studies show they grow up much more kind and self sacrificing when they share rooms growing up. I have found this to be true (mine are 23 yrs - 21 mos). Try to stagger their bedtimes so one is asleep before the other comes in. I usually put the youngest down first, then gave the next one a little "special" time before bed. We've had as many as four to a room at times and if they are trained properly it's manageable. Mine even share beds. We stagger bedtimes or put the youngest to bed elsewhere and move him after the older ones have settled in. Boys and girls in our family may share rooms until about 5-6 yrs old (when they start understanding sex differences and personal modesty issues kick in) and older siblings share with babies/toddlers, as space demands, because they have learned to set aside their personal preferences for the little ones' well-being. (In the teen years this has only worked well for us with girls and babies. And preteen boys can benefit from sharing in transitional times with a PreK-grade school aged brother who sleeps soundly.) It works with training, patience and practice.

SAHM of seven in a small house

I was in the same boat when my 2nd child was born. We had three bedrooms, but one was upstairs. I put my 2 year old in a big bed months before the baby was born...you could also use a toddler bed. The baby and my 2 year old both shared the same room. We didn't have a problem at bedtime. Most of the time, the baby went down about a half an hour before my 2 year old. As they got older, they went to bed around the same time...we had no problems. It always works out in the end as long as you keep the same routine and the same rules.

I had the same fears when we put our sons in the same room. They do play in there, but it's fully child proofed so I don't need to worry. I also try to remind myself that they are bonding when they are in there playing together, so that I don't get too frazzled that they aren't sleeping yet. Basically, I put them in there after our routine and let them bond. It's so good for kids to share a room. We have an extra room but I want my boys to share a closeness and sharing a room has really brought them together. Good luck with everything!

Hi C.,
Have you thought of introducing your 2 year old to a toddler bed? It is lower to the ground than a standard twin bed and uses a crib mattress. There is even a safety rail attachment that can be purchased for them. Also, let your son stay in the nursery, that way he won't feel like he's being "replaced" by the new baby. That' how I transitioned both of my children. Good luck! S.

Like you, my two older kids (boy then girl)had their own rooms and we lived in a trailer so with the 3rd, I had to figure out the easiest way to get them all in the small rooms. I had bunk beds for the two oldest (they were 4 and 5 and half)and the crib for the baby. I had the baby in a seperate room for a bit, then switched it because of the playing and the crib in with the bunk beds and all the toys in the other room. That worked until for the first year. Then I moved my daughter in her own room and my sons shared a room.

I think that yours are all small enough that you could put the oldest two in the same room, or the two youngest, depending on which ones are good about going to sleep and if they sleep all night.

Whether to keep using the crib for your 2 yr old is entirely up to you since you have two anyway. My oldest was 5 1/2 and his sister was almost 3 when our 3rd came along. I put the older two in bunk beds and kept the same bedtime for them and it worked out perfectly. We moved shortly afterward so i can't say how long that would have been practical, but had we stayed my guess is that I would have kept the older two together until the baby was 2 or 3.

AT that age gender doesn't matter. In fact an extreme case is the people we sold our house to had been living in a 2 br and their son was 10 and daughter was 7, sharing a room. Poor kid was too embarrassed to bring friends over, but on a sibling level they did just fine. They were thrilled to finally have a bigger house with their own rooms!

i would put the two younger ones in the same room. that's what we are going to do. with the one only being two he will get into the sister things and that could become a problem with her. plus being he is only two he isn't going to see the big deal of sharing like the girl might. either way you choose to do it, every thing will fall into place with in a week or so while everyone gets use to the new arrangements with the baby being there. Good Luck!

We have 4 kids in a two bedroom house with a converted basement. Right now our oldest 2 are sharing the basement, while the youngest 2 are upstairs with us. It is unfortuantly boy/girl arrangements, but it couldnt be helped, as the younger 2 are both too little for the basement and the upstair's room is too little for 3 people. We need to stay here for a few more years because of some first time homebuyer stuff, so our goal is to move everyone downstairs, since it isnt fair to have anyone of the sexes to share the tiny upstair bedroom, while the other set is downstairs. My older two dont mind sharing, so far, one is 8 and the other is 4, but I know someday that will all change and that 4 teens in this house will be horrible, but for now we make best of our situation. There is no good way to divid things up, do whatever makes you the most comfortable. Good Luck!

Hi C.~

We moved to a 3 bedroom house and we have 3 kids. We decided that our two oldest (both girls, 5 1/2 and almost 2) were going to share a room, the youngest (boy, 8 months) has been sleeping in a bassinet in our room. And then we had a toy room, which was going to be half our son's room and half toy room. Then my sister in law moved in. So now all 3 kids share a room. It really isn't hard. Our son usually falls asleep within 5 minutes, even if the other two are noisy. Usually we put the two youngest down first so our oldest one can have some time alone with us. Then we take her up and lay her down in bed. This is going to have to work until my sister in law moves out (which is hopefully soon). Then we will probably move our youngest into his own room.

Hi C.,

I was reading your entry and I thought you were reading my mind, we are in the EXACT same position, house set up and all. I have a going to be 3 year old in Oct, a 13 month old and another baby on the way in January. I have thought long and hard about this as well, so I don't think you are crazy :) ha ha. My son will not be ready for a big boy bed yet either, so we will be putting the pack n play with the bassinet in our room for a few months. I will nurse again, so that is easier for me anyway, so if you have the room in your master bedroom, I would say give that a shot or if you can set up the crib in your room, if that is something you think would work. We too will eventually combine 2 kids in one room, I am pretty sure we are having a girl - not confirmed yet :), but my daughters room is currently big enough for 2, however a 3 year old and a newborn, I just don't have a good feeling that either would get a good nights sleep. I wish you all the best and I will check back at other's posts to get some helpful information as well. Take care and best of luck, feel free to email me directly if you would like to chat!

Thanks
R.
____@____.com

My 3 year old boy and 2 year old girl have been sharing a room since she got out of bassinet et into crib. I occasionally have trouble with them wanting to play, but is not usual. You just have to be firm on bedtime. Everything that I have read says that you can put boys and girls together indefinitely as long as you provide for privacy as they get older. I would put the new baby with the younger one. The baby won't know any different, and the 2 year old is going to adjust just fine. I had no trouble with my boy giving up his crib for his sister. I got him a fun firetruck toddler bed with sides and told him that the baby needed a bed. He loved the fire truck so much that he didn't mind giving up his bed. I had more trouble when he outgrew the firetruck. Hope this helps. By the time you need to separate the two little ones, the older one can move downstairs, or you and your hubby can move downstairs for some extra privacy.

C., you are NOT nuts! We have gone through this also, we have a nice size bedroom on the main level and four bedrooms on the upper...one of which has been converted into an office/spare bedroom because it is smaller and lacks a closet, so that brought us down to three. The main bedroom we used as the childrens play room so that they could avoid using the stairs - we live in an old farm house and the stairs are quite steep. It was nice when we had our own bedroom and our girls each had their own room, but much to our SUPRISE, baby number three decided to come! We kept our room, moved our eldest, who was 4 at the time into the smaller bedroom and our youngest (who was still in a crib)into the bigger room. Our youngest two babies are 18months apart to the day, so moving our youngest daughter into a twin bed at 15 months old was kind of scarry - she also looked so tiny in such a big bed, but with a side rail did great, she never even attempted to get out of bed until she was 3 - I think because to her the floor looked so far away. Sorry, I'm rambling, I'll get to the point...We put our youngest daughter into a twin bed and put the crib up in her room with her, being it was a larger room. Our newborn son and at the time of birth 18 month old daughter shared a room. When our son was 2 1/2 and daughter was 4, we then decided that the rooms were getting a little bit tight, so at that time moved our bedroom down to the main level and each of the children had their own rooms. I was a little nervous also about being on a different level than the children, but they were a bit older in age and everything has turned out just fine, althouh we had a baby monitor in our sons room until he was almost 3 1/2, just so we could hear him if he did wake up - this really relived my stress. I agree with you, I think if you put the two eldest together you will most likely have the bedtime struggles you have talked about, as I felt this is what I would be up against also. I was a little afraid that the baby crying would wake up my daughter in the middle of the night, but we never found this to be the case. Whatever you decide to do, everything will work out for you.

Your Mom is right you are overthinking it. I used to fret over alot of the same things until I began to realize I spent more time worrying than I did in the actually doing. Most things turned out easier than I thought they were going to. I had my son and my daughter in the same room when they were little. I don't remember them messing around. I also had two of my daughters together for awhile. They really enjoyed it. When my oldest got her own room and left her younger sisters room, the younger one tried to recruit my husband and me to sleep with her. Don't worry, you will find what works best for you. my kids learned some valuable lessons when sharing rooms. I wouldn't trade that for the world. When we were expecting our fourth child, my son was so excited that he was going to get to share a room with the baby. Unfortunately the baby died at 31 weeks. I think the best gift you can give your kids are brothers and sister because it teaches them how to share, to be kind, how to work out problems, how to show compassion....I could go on forever. Keep your guest room and give those kids the wonderful experience of being together!!!!

C.,

We have a four bedroom house with four kids. The older 2 (13 and 15) have their own rooms and the 2 younger ones (2 year old boy, and 7 month old girl share a room). For the first 6 months our baby girl was in a bassinet with my husband and I, but now we have her in with her older brother (separate cribs of course). The first couple days was hard for our young son, because he woke up whenever our little girl would cry, but now he sleeps right through it and doesn't wake up at all. We figure by the time they are older and NEED separate rooms our oldest daughter will be off to college. I honestly think it is easier for the younger ones to adjust...so if you can fit the new baby in the nursery...I would suggest that route. It worked great for us! :) Good luck!!

R.

My two boys are the same ages (3 1/2 and 2) and I'm expecting a baby in October, too. We also have only three bedrooms close together. Right now the boys each have their own rooms. We have the crib and stuff set up in our room, because it seems I always end up sleeping with the baby in our room anyways. I think it's good to keep the baby very close to you at night. We've thought about putting the boys together in a room, and will probably do that at some point in the next year. But right now it would be difficult because the 2-year-old always naps, and the 3 year-old often just plays in his room at naptime. I think you should just focus on doing whatever helps everyone in the family gets the most sleep. There's no rule that says babies have to have a nursery. Good luck!

C.,

Congratulations on your newest arrival!

It is highly recommended that you keep baby close for at first, so no one has to make any great changes. A bassinet in your room would work fine.

Have you read "Three in a Bed"? It is very helpful and I really treasured our time so close.

Take it a step at a time and the answer that fits your family best will reveal itself!

J.

Hi C..

I'm a stay-at-home "older" momma too! :) I also work out of our home, and my office was in our second bedroom. We have three - bedrooms and kids! I moved my office downstairs. Our boys, aged 10 months and 22 months share a room (my old office) and our 6-year old daughter has her own. The boys actually do very well together. They put each other to sleep and are now actually on the same sleep schedule. Our middle child has Down syndrome, and, at times will drone a bit at night. Funny - puts his little brother right to sleep!

When the youngest boy was born, we had him in a bassinet next to the bed until he was about 8 months. I dreaded moving him in with his brother, but now, it works very well. I sing them each their own song, go through the same routine and they are happy as pie. They wake at the same time each morning too. Separated only by 13 months, with our middle child born at 32-weeks and with special needs, it is almost as if they are twins (from a developmental standpoint anyway). Needless to say, having two in one room has worked out well for us.

Wishing you luck and congrats in advance on your new arrival.

I probably will not be of much help, but I wanted you to know that I understand :) We have 3 girls and are expecting. When we had our third, we had our two oldest share a room, it ended up being a nightmare, those two do not share space well. We moved, and all 3 of them have their own room, but now we are back to square one:) So far I think that I will have the younger two share a room and let the older one keep her own room (as the two older ones still do not do so well on sharing space with eachother), and then the baby will have it's own room. However, if the baby is a girl, I might switch it up later, and if it's a boy, possible\y leave it alone, if it works. Good Luck!

SAHM to 3 beautiful girls (7,5, and 4)and one blessing on the way.

When my second was ready to move out of our room the only option I had was to put him in the same room as his 2 1/2 year old brother. I was very concerned how sleeping would be - especially if the baby woke up at night. I was prepared to let the baby sleep in the pack n play in the kitchen/living room area. But one night I just decided to give it a shot and they didn't wake each other up at all. It was amazing.

It went way easier than I think it was going to. So hopefully the same will be true for you!

Congrats on the new baby. It may take a few nights for the 2 older ones to get used to sleeping together, but eventually they'll get used to it.